In My Own Melo-comedy Drama

Never get too settled in your comfort zone

2010-01-29T11:20:00.001+08:00

If you're facing a quarter or mid-life crisis and trying to do something about it, Congratulations, you're still an active person. By active, I mean at least you're trying to do something about it. Not give reasons like, "Oh, I don't have time," "I don't think it's necessary," "I'll wait for the right timing." Let me ask you, so when is the right timing? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year? Or might as well next lifetime?

After experiencing the loved ones' deaths these couple of years, I've learnt not to waste time in my life. There must be a balance of work and life every week of my life. There's a time to strive hard for a better future, and there's a time to strengthen the bonding of the loved ones - family and friends. Besides that, I give myself some "me" time.

An ordinary person would always think that there's always tomorrow, or next week, or next month to do stuff. But no, no one knows when your time will be up. When it's up, you don't appear translucent beside your loved ones. You don't get to hug them anymore. You don't get to say sorry that oen last time. Time's up. Period.

One of Auntie AiAi's last words on her death bed made a huge impact on me. She said "I don't want to die." It still hurts my heart a lot when it comes to my mind. But she's a very pro-active person. She takes action for what she wants to do almost immediately. There's no time to waste. Even in her final stages of cancer, she didn't seem to let the pain and weakness of the physical body stop her from doing what her mind wants to accomplish.

I applaud and respect her for that. She never gave up on herself. I miss you, Auntie AiAi.

Aside to that, I get sort of angry when I see people sucking on that stupid white or brown thing called cigarette. Not only because I have to sniff 2nd hand smoke which is twice as harmful as 1st hand smoke for nothing, but because they don't cherish what they have - an originally healthy body.

People who are stricken with incurable illnesses are fighting for their lives. What are you doing???
If you get any illness from it because of your silly act, well, that's the consequences. I have nothing to say about your decision, except to feel sad for your family and friends who might lose you anytime. Have you thought of people the feelings of the people who love you?

Putting it blatantly, if you leave the human world, it's a full-stop to your life. That's it, no turning back. You're not the one who suffers the most. Mental hurt is worse than physical hurt. The people who suffer most from your departure are people who love you, the woman who give birth to you, the grandparents who doted on you, the friends who cherish you for who you are. The heartaches will haunt them for their lives. And in certain cases, what if their lives comes to a standstill because of your departure? Or that your departure hits them so hard that they decide to leave this world along with you? You like that? I don't. I don't want to die from such dumb reasons. I don't want my family and friends to suffer from that. It's totally unnecessary.

Ever wondered why people who sell drugs don't take drugs?
Simple, cuz they're smart. They know it's of no good, at all. So these smart tabacco companies just grow their wealth when people with silly mindsets jump onto the bandwagon sending them to hell. Great! Work out the math, will you? It's not hard.

These few pararaphs may offend many, but I plead with you to think of it reasonably and carefully. Does it make sense to you?

Next...
Too often, i hear people complaining about their lives. And I wonder, after the complaints, are they doing something to change their lives? Or simply "living it to heaven's will"?

At an age of 23+, i'm not letting my life slow down. I won't let anything get in my way if i'm set to achieve their goal. Orthodox methods, of course. I despise underhand means. Using underhand means to achieve the goals equate to nothing. Even at 40, I don't think I will lead a boring life. I don't want to leave faint and easily washable footprints after my life ends. I want them to last long and be impactful. No, i'm not aiming to be someone of high social status or be a president or go all out to make a difference. I just aim to have not let myself down when I need to leave the world one day. (*touches the wooden desk)

Probably because my parents have been supportive of many things that I want to do, and there's no emotional strings attached, I'm used to going ahead with my decisions if i've analysed the pros and cons and am willing to fall and climb back up if any obstacles along the way make me trip.
I don't really comprehend "Because whoever doesn't like me doing this or that, or wearing certain kind of clothes, or setting a curfew." If it's for valid or safety reasons, fine. But if it's based on personal likes and dislikes or biasness, It won't stop be from doing what I want. I'm not unreasonable nor a rash person. I go with reason. Level your reasoning with me and I'll accept it. Cuz I understand everyone has different scales of importance in their lives. You have yours, I have mine.

But if you're aimlessly leading life day to day, hello? Wake up, please! For the sake of people who cherish and love you - those whose heart will ache for you, will sacrifice for you, will cry for you, will lend a genuine helping hand to you in times of need...

I don't know how long is my life span. No ones knows. I just know I don't want to die young. I don't want to die with a tainted heart. I don't want to die with too many regrets in my life. However, the Law Of Attaction says the more you hate for something negative to happen, the more you'll attract the negative to occur. Therefore, i'm changing my perspective to what I WANT to happen. As the renowned book, The Secret, reveals, think positivey of what you WANT to happen, and the universe will work out its way to make things happen that way.

Thanks to encouragements and tips from The Secret, i'm looking forward to life more possitively and gearing myself to charge forward, positively. :)

Disclaimer: If you think it's you i'm pointing fingers at. No, i'm not. I'm talking about the world in general. Really, trust me, will you? :)

Aloha!

2009-11-14T01:37:00.012+08:00

ALOHA!~

It's been a long long time since i've written in my blog here. But i've been writing on papers meanwhile, expressing my spurs of thoughts with the primitive way of hand, pen, and good old paper. And after a long time since i've set foot here, I'm gonna post my birthday wishlist. How nice, eh?

Hahaha...

To think the stuff aren't cheap.. But it's just wants... for reference, or maybe, a good way is to bao ang bao. All are welcomed!
Hahahaha!

Here goes!

1) 64-keys Keyboard
I'm fine with a cheap cheap or secondhand one. As long as it works well, and looks decent. :D

2) Diesel Fuel for Life [Unlimited] Perfume [booked for now ;p]
Love the smell! But there're 2 version, one if the normal Fuel for Life which is common everywhere. But I like the one that's black in colour with a stronger smell - the "Unlimited" version of it.

3) Coach Purple Heritage Coin Purse / Skinny
Love the purple! Wished to use it as a name card/ez-link holder for everyday use. ;)

This is the one in pink, though i like this too, my ideal is in purple! :D

4) Ionic Hair Dryer
Preferably with silent function so that i can use it in the night without disturbing my family who's asleep. Oh, if it's in purple colour, it'll be perfect. But of course, the functions are more important. ;p

5) iPhone Red leather outer cover
With the flap to protect the entire phone from all corners and front and back. Something like my current cover, just in red. ;p

6) Burberry Wallet
I know this is too much, but it's a wishlist, right? I'm just wishing upon a star... >_<

7) Watch (Fulfilled by the family! Muacks & hugs!)
Black metal strap. With black crystals, and multiple dials. Preferably with date.

8) National Geographic Magazine Annual Subscription
I've been wanting this for a long time since i got hooked onto reading this when i was an intern with a magazine. My brother loves it too so it's killing 2 birds with just a stone! ;p

9) Car
Okay, I know it's impossible. Or you could get me a car model of Audi R8 Spyder. I want a red one, please! Hahaha! >_<

Lastly, whatever you guys get me, i'll definitely like it. Cuz though cliche, i understand fully the meaning of "it's the thoughts that counts". ;D

Love,
Ching ;D

Photos stir so much in me...without doing anything at all...

2009-04-30T04:20:00.007+08:00

I love taking pictures. I dare not say I love photography, cuz I don't know much about it. But I dare say I love taking photos, of others, myself, and scenes of life. (Very much in the auto mode of my fabulous new love of a year - the Canon Powershot SX100IS - only occasionally in aperture or shutter speed mode.)

I have not much of an idea how to maneuver the manual function on my semi-pro camera, but I simply play around it randomly, discovering a new way to take an awesome photo every time - Capturing moments I would like to keep in still. And I'm glad I did.

These memories refresh my happiness, sadness, and all kinds of feelings in a bowl. Bitter and sweet, just like dark chocolate. To me at this point of my life, I think life is just like dark chocolate. It's bitter, and sweet. You can't have too much of it, nor too little. Sometimes your taste buds tell you it's too bitter, other times it screams with sweetness. Too much of either is never good.

I like tasting bitterness, because it makes me cherish sweetness even more. So do I love sweetness, because it proves to me all that bitterness beforehand were worth it. But I don't like any if just one is overwhelming. A balance is perfect for me. Just that sadly, standing on the fence doesn't ensure a balance all the time. You're bound to fall to one side with any stir of the wind or a tugging arm.

I'm drifting too far off from what I intended to write initially, at 4:37am right now, Singapore time. But I don't care. I like to do free-writing. I can write and write and not stop, talking about everything on earth. But I won't, for now.

I'm feeling so darn trapped, with so many balloons of dreams and wants full-blown, tied and waiting to fly. But they just can't because of stupid mandatory constraints - money.

I'm waiting to fly, fly to the stars, and come back bright, nice, and welcomed by all kind faces and true hearts. But I'm stuck in the mud, pulled back by gravity and tugging on to the feeble useless wobbly legs, blaming no one but myself. As for what I'm blaming myself for, I'm not even sure. The feeling of being useless is just damn strong. So damn strong. I'm sick and freaking tired of not having an income, yet I allow myself to choose. I just slapped myself in the face. People tell me to take my time, I reply "yea" all the time, but no, I don't want to waste any more precious time. I've procrastinated too much. There are so many things for me to accomplish in this short span of life every one is granted. Nobody knows when their time's gonna be up, neither do I. I haven't accomplished anything in my life, unless you count a Bachelors of Arts and a driving license some sort of a small achievement.

I'm not looking at being a noble person who receives praises from the world, I'm too selfish being a human to be doing that. I guess small efforts within my ability is fine, though I want to do more. I'm just frustrated, I guess. And the serenity in the night releases that smile in the day and conjure tears in the eyes. For what? Don't ask me, cuz I really don't know.

I get so emotional these days, I cry almost everyday. The tears don't flow for long, but they're on a loose now. I can't control them when I'm alone anymore, although they don't bother me when I'm occupied by something else. They disappear as fast as they descent. Two blinks of the eyes and they're gone again.

Confidence, give me some. You know what? I need a lot. Just give me all you can. I need a lot to patch up the broken route.

Oh well, back to where I started this post - Photos. I was compiling photos to print that people have been chasing me for. And doing that I came across so many photos of my loved ones now in heaven. They conjure so much sadness in me, I miss them terribly, still. I suppose I'll never stop missing them, and the missing just snowballs. The scar will still hurt, no matter how hard time tries to do its job. I know I still have many living for me to love and cherish. I am clearly aware of that, and I'm precisely doing that. I can do more. I will.

A bird is welcoming the morning with its chirps in a melody at 4:56am now. It sort of calmed me down, and reminded me of yet another interview in a few hours. I have learnt to not bring my hopes up high, and stay on a safe level. If you've read up to here, thank you, but I'm not suffering from depression. I don't have severe mood swings, nor thoughts of death. Not yet. I still have so much to do, I treasure my life. *gives you a smile*

The dreams still fly high, though with the strings still stubbornly attached tightly. I'll make sure the strings snap some day, so that my balloons of aspirations would fly high and make me proud of it all.

This day... please come quick, I can bear with it no longer...

Where do I head?

2009-01-17T02:34:00.004+08:00

The stage, one that I can call my own.

I'm searching for it.

I'm stretching my neck to the maximum to look for it, to the point that it hurts.

But I can't see it.

I don't have a map in my hands, neither do I know how to draw one myself.

Lost, yet anxious to find my way there, even without the aid of a compass.

The anxiety turns into actions, that just pushes me back to the floor.

If I could spin myself aimlessly and find myself there somehow, I might just do that.

But I'm lost.

Lost with no idea how to get there.

Where do I make my first step?

Just lost, and the anxiety of heading aimlessly is killing me slowly, silently.

The frustrations.

Time is ticking, ferociously.

It's ticking so fast, it's not waiting for me, nor anyone.

Time, there's none for procrastination.

Time to take actions, but I don't know how...

I'm not even sure if I'm good enough to get there, but I want to.

I just want to...

Again, I need the confidence. Where can I get some? I need some. In fact, I need a lot to get by, to hold on tightly to those idealistic things people named nicely as “Dreams”.

Chase it?

How?

Seriously, I have no idea...

Tell me, and I'll make my way there...

Nice little treat for the new year...

2009-01-02T01:18:00.006+08:00

I received a reply from Xiah JunSu of my favourite TVXQ on UFOtown!!!

UFOtown is a website/SMS service that sends your messages to the artiste direct and they take time to reply to you personally. (I would rather not doubt the truth of it and take it as the truth ;p) Apparently, in China and Korea, this service works through SMS.

So here's a screencap of the reply!

I wrote in English...

He replied in Korean...

Website translates the Korean message into Mandarin automatically since I'm using the service through the China counterpart of the originally Korean service.

[ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!]

Such a little thing and it lifts my mood. Haha... I bet JunSu was the one who replied to this cuz I wrote in English. It probably stood out a little from the rest of the messages in Korean. Gee...

Anyway, have a blessed new year ahead!

2008

2008-12-31T21:54:00.002+08:00

[ALL RIGHTS RESERVED FOR THE PHOTO]

The year our family lost two of our loved ones – Aunt AiAi and Grandpa.
The year I finally graduated with a Bachelor's and wore the square hat.
The year I had an enjoyable and memorable trip to USA with my lovely nine.
The year I had our first trip out with my dear V3 to HongKong.
The year I really learnt so much about cherishing my loved ones more.
The year I needed to expose myself to the society.
The year that leaves me on the fence.
The year that taught me immeasurable amount of lessons.
The year that left me with many tasks unaccomplished.

It is a bittersweet year. And happiness and hurt are feelings so pure and distinctive.

The only way to appreciate bliss is to have a taste of bitterness.
The flavours of life.
Only the contrast would make happiness stand out. Things that were once taken for granted seem so much of an importance now. Things that 'you-never-knew' appears before me vividly now.

Good times and bad times. Every year is a mixture of that, just that this year I'm feeling the impact so much more. Good or bad, these are lessons I have to learn and will learn sooner or later. Things that are fated to happen, things that are entwined in your life, things that are bound to happen, or waiting to happen.

Life, it's all about a few decades on earth with a hopefully healthy body. It's for you to taste the flavours of life and take risks and accomplish tasks. Once you're done, time is up. Sometimes there isn't enough time for some to accomplish what they've set their mind to do, but time is up for them, period.

I know time will not stop for me, and the lessons I've learnt will threaten me to stop procrastinating and start filling my life with more colours.

If I could buy one thing, I would buy health and store it so that any loved ones or I could use it if needed.

If I could buy a second thing, I would buy safety to keep myself and all loved ones safe.

And if I could buy a third thing, I would buy confidence for myself. I really lack it and need encouragement from time to time to keep it at a minimum level.

My wishes are getting simpler by the year. Maybe I'm getting old too...

I hope, sincerely and with all my heart, that the new year, 2009, will be a smooth-sailing year. It need not be a splendid year, even though it would be fabulous if it will be, but I'll make do with a year without unhappy events.

Just want all my family and friends to stay safe, healthy, and happy.

Love you. *hugs*

Misunderstood...

2008-12-31T21:52:00.000+08:00

I fought with myself, if I should publish this article, afraid it might cause any unneccessary misunderstanding again when I really don't mean what was misinterpreted. Supressed, yes I am. How can I not be after such a scare? But I figured that's not the way to keep my thoughts to myself. If I don't explode from being wronged and not being able to explained myself, I'll just be crushed. Although I'm thankful there were still people who trusted that I didn't mean what was misintepreted.

I guess if there's someone who's most upset about the incident, it would be me. Being misunderstood that I'm a childish immature insensitive kid who points her fingers at others when I don't know a thing. Being misunderstood by people who I keep in my prayers when I pray for the health and safety of my entire family whenever I pray to Guan Yin NiangNiang; People who I cherish who have or don't have blood ties with me, but as important; my family, friends, and all relatives, distant or not.

I'm learning more and more how precious life is especially in these few weeks, having just lost our grandfather and Aunt AiAi several months ago, knowing Cai, who just lost his mother months ago and grandfather a week ago, has another grandfather on the losing end with his fight with the illness, and uncle's friend meeting with an accident and struck with a coma, his destiny ahead a mystery. I am thankful and grateful, I really am, of what I have right now. Simple, yet so important, and sometimes taken for granted. My family and friends all mean so much to me, words aren't enough to bring that out. And being misunderstood by these people who I cherish as well, is certainly an awful feeling.

Just wanted to say, blog-reading is something that has to be done with an open mind, bearing in mind that if the writer seems to be pointing fingers, the person is probably not you he/she is referring to. And if anything sounds offensive yet subtle, then it's probably not referring to what you're thinking. In any case, if it's not written out, then it doesn't mean what one has misintepreted. I guess I'm still worth being given that benefit of doubt? I'm not that unworthy of that little bit of trust, am I? If you know me enough, you would trust that I wouldn't do such a thing, knowing the writing has an audience, albeit not big, but people who are important enough in my life. If it was something that was meant to offend anyone in the first place, it wouldn't have been published. Although in the first place, there was really nothing for me to be pointing at.

If anything, please confront me, cause then I would know what went wrong, and be given a chance to explain myself. I want to clear any misunderstanding. Ask me, please. I really hate the feeling of being wronged. The simple words, the heartbroken thoughts that were put into words on the night after grandpa left us, misunderstood and twisted – never meant to hurt. They were written not to point fingers at anyone, cause I don't have the right to, and neither do I need to. I simply do what is clear with my conscience and don't do what is against it. Words that weren't meant to hurt, injured others eventually, but I didn't know why. Although I really didn't mean it that way. I didn't get a chance to explain myself, but I hope the adults' explaination on my behalf sufficed to clear the misunderstanding – that the words never meant to hurt, that sentence were just a simple wish on my part. As simple as a wish like for a job to land as soon as possible, or for the rain to stop. A girl, wishing for the best for her family. That's it. Nothing in between the lines at all. Not at all. Never meant to refer to anything else except those that were written. Sincerely. As for the stating of the hours, it was merely a log for myself to remember what I did, in case I lost my memory or can't recall any part of the incident one day. The stating of the time was never meant to mean something else, it was written just like i would have written in a paper diary with intentions along the line of - “Rainy day, 11:oopm. I spent the last four hours in the cafe, waiting for my friend to arrive with my book.” Different words, different situation, but written with the same intentions. A pure intention of just noting down what I did, in case one day I forgot, or lost my memory (touch wood!). As simple as that.

I hope the misunderstanding is further cleared from the roots now. It was bugging me, and I'm letting it go already. It won't bug me anymore, just like I hope the misintended hurt that the misintepretation caused would subside and fade away eventually, bringing back the gentle ripples in the sea, and maintaining the way it was. A new year ahead, a new chapter to write. As cliche as it may sound, let bygones be bygones.

End of 2008.
End of all misunderstandings.
End of it...

Goodbye, KongKong...

2008-12-13T23:57:00.007+08:00

It took me a long time before mentioning about Yee didn't hurt, and now, calling KongKong sting my eyes with tears and delivers a stab in my heart.

We received a call from Aunt Aileng around 5am, telling us that she got a call from the hospital, asking us to rush down as Grandpa is at his last. I don't know how I bruhed my teeth, and did away with washing my face, and threw on any plain looking clothes, and we rushed our way to the hospital, hoping to bid him farewell for the last time.

When we reached the hospital, I already had a bad feeling, and as we were about to enter the ward, the nurse's expression already told me something. Once we saw KongKong's face drained of blood and tucked in neatly, lying still, we knew the answer. But poor Grandma still wasn't aware that Grandpa had left cuz the non-chinese nurses couldn't communicate with her. She sat there crying alone as she reached the hospital first, asking us to call Grandpa to get him to wake up, thinking he was still alive. But Grandpa couldn't hold on any longer, he was too much in pain, and had to go before we and Uncle Boon arrived. He left quietly at 0458 hours, and I really really hope he wasn't in too much pain when he left. His body was still warm when we rushed down within the hour of the call. KongKong...

On one hand, I knew this was a relief for him, free of all pain and illnesses and meeting his mother-in-law and daughter in heaven, looking upon us. On the other hand, I'm missing him terribly already. I held in my tears all day, not wanting to affect Grandma with my grief. She's sad enough, having to cope another death of her loved one within the same year. She hasn't even gotten over Aunt AiAi yet, and KongKong can't accompany her anymore.

When we went home with Grandma while the body was being cleaned and embalmed at the casket, I almost thought I saw KongKong coming out from the shower. And then I knocked myself out of it, reminding myself that KongKong has left. I couldn't help but walked into KongKong's room, looking at the things he left behind. Every single thing in its own special place reminded me of him. And the tears came again. I miss him so much... so much... But the whole family was there, leaving for the casket, and I swallowed the tears again, wiping off the stains on my cheeks and avoided any eye contact. I just couldn't help it. Then the busy day extended from there. We were kept busy all the time that there was hardly time to quieten down and grieve silently on my own. My appetite was lost until my stomach grumbled to notify its emptiness with only gastric juices. But my brains weren't emitting signs to start an appetite, it was just lost with our lost.

KongKong is dressed smartly, neatly, and nicely in a gentlemanly suit, just as he would like it. He had always been especially particular about his cleanliness and neatness. And we took extra care that he was dressed in his best suit for his last. Mum, JingYu, Dad, and I rushed around to look for a presentable shirt to match his coat as the shirts he owned were quite old already. The shirt is Mum's final present to him.

December 13, both his birth date and death date. Being a traditional person, he disliked the number 13, and doesn't like celebrating his birthday on the 13th and instead celebrates according to his birthday on the lunar calendar. Borned in 1925 (according to the birth certificate) and passed away in 2008, having lived for 83 years, bringing us countless precious memories and love.

The wake will last for five days, so that Uncle Boon would have enough time to bid his father farewell and accompany him on the last journey. If there is anything I can do now for KongKong, it is to take extra care of Grandma. This, we've been doing, and will do so more often. I hope the other relatives would drop by to visit her more often too. Like I mentioned yesterday, you might not enjoy their accompany, but they would definitely appreciate yours. If the workers from the church can do so to show their concern, why can't we, as family members, make the extra effort to care more for our grandmother who loves us with all her heart and kindly given us so much unconditional love? After all, it is only right to do so. Because she deserves the care and concern, and should be showered with more to fill up KongKong's now empty space.

Sigh... well, at least my conscience is clear, as we accompanied KongKong the entire day and almost entire night yesterday, being with him since 2pm to 10:30pm. I had a weird feeling, and messaged many to ask if they were coming to visit, but most were busy with other things in their lifes. I guess it can't be helped. At least he wasn't alone the entire day, many concerned relatives made an effort to make a trip down, even if it was just for a while. I'm sure KongKong appreciated that although he couldn't show it.

And so, this is what they call, "they more you experience in life, the more you'll learn to let go of things you once held so tightly and thought so highly of." As time goes by, our journey of learning never stops, just like the journey of life.

I will always miss you so badly, KongKong. So badly. The way you call me "Ah Pui Jie" or "Zhu Zai Ching" even though I hated the nicknames cuz they were pointed at my size, it was an exception that I couldn't get angry about cuz I knew your teasing isn't meant as hurt but out of pure love. How you called JingYu "JinYu JinGai Curry Gai." And even how you like to beat JingYu's butt when we drop by for dinner every Saturday when we head home. There are so many things that will remind us of your presence in our lifes...

I'll let time heal the wound, but the vivid memories will never ever fade...

I love you forever, KongKong.

Goodbye...

Please hang on...

2008-12-13T01:09:00.003+08:00

I sat there alone, in my grandfather's ward, watching him struggling with every breath. We keep telling him to wait for Uncle Boon to come back, and he seems to respond somehow, giving a slight nod or letting out a soft noise, to let us know that he's still fighting on with all his might to see his son. Being alone in the room with just him is utterly depressing, my heart aches with every sight of him trying his best to breathe with the oxygen provided through the oxygen mask. My cousin said the amount of oxygen they're providing through the mask is already at the maximum of 15. My heart skips a beat when I don't hear anything, then pounds quickly again once I hear him breathing again, as if trying to make up for the missed beat.

My tears threaten to burst out of its boundaries any moment.

We stayed in the hospital fromm 2pm to 10pm+ today, trying to keep Grandpa company. I don't want him to wake up from his drowsy state and find no one beside him. I guess it'll feel quite horrible. I want to be by his side whenever I can, cuz I don't want any regrets. I grew up at my grandparents' place, so they practically brought me up until Primary 5 when I shifted back to stay with my parents. They brought me to school, took care of me, and gave me unconditional love. Of all the cousins, I think I stayed the longest with my grandparents. I don't know if that equates to how close I am to them or the love I have for them, I just know I love and cherish them very much. Many grandchildren these days cannot even communicate with their grandparents, but I'm proud to say I don't have a problem speaking to them, having spoken their dialect and growing up with their care. I enjoy their company, and I know they enjoy mine too. When I'm free after school, I would sometimes pop by their house and start rambling about my day, my friends, or anything under the sky, simply because I know grandparents enjoy their grandchildren's company, even if they can't communicate. At least I wouldn't have regrets on this part, cuz I made extra efforts to spend time with them. And I will continue to make more efforts accompanying my two grandmothers. It's a pity that many don't get to communicate with their grandparents, sometimes even parents. Why not make an effort today? You might not enjoy their company, but they'll definitely enjoy yours. And that's enough.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, and I guess it'll be the same tonight. Every time I close my eyes, the images comes to mind, playing at its own rate right in front of my closed eyelids. It's unbearable, the pain and worry. I kept praying, and crying, and praying, that I lost count. The only thing I hope for now is that Grandpa is not feeling too much pain holding on, and that Uncle Boon would make it home in time. He would be taking his flight some hours later, arriving only 19 hours later. 19 hours may seem like a short time if you're not in a hurry, but these 2 days are of utmost importance for us.

Our entire family is praying hard, and I believe regardless of religions, the kind gods above will try their best to work their magic. I can't bear to let Grandpa go, but his body has gone through the toil over the decades and did its best serving its master well. I understand everything comes to an end one day, machines wear out, so do humans. This, I know, I knew long ago, but I guess I'll never be ready for it. Not this kind.

The doctor came in today, to inform us of what they'd done to help him recover, but the ailing body is not responding to the strongest medicine, and nothing much can be done except to provide the oxygen and keep Grandpa as comfortable as possible so that he's not in pain.

Please, let Grandpa hang on until he sees his son. That's all I ask for. I love you, KongKong. Always will. Please hang on for just a little more. Please...

The "Downs"

2008-10-17T18:06:00.014+08:00

I know it's silly, but the "pre-birthday depression" has hit my shores again. Every year, without fail, I get these weird "down" days, and the rainy season doesn't help, it just leaves me feeling even more depressed. PMS probably chipped in too, whatever.

I hope to spend my 22nd birthday at a peaceful and quiet place this year. Probably to smooth out what 2008 had done to me. Joy? Yup, certainly. Pain and loss, definitely. Achievement, if graduating with a Bachelors of Arts count.

I just feel like having a relaxing birthday this year. Not really having a party in mind, probably just simple joy at a peaceful and beautiful place with fresh air with some of my favourite people, even one will do. Just need someone to go with me, cuz of various concerns.

Simple one.

Anyone wants to join me? My birthday falls on a Saturday (November 15, 2008) and I plan for it to be a weekend escapade.

Check out http://www.zuji.com.sg . The cheapest package is at $78. I dont have much excess money to spend too, but my "down-ness" calls for it... Gee..

My Dad says I'm full of weird ideas, and he doesn't understand why I have to spend my birthday overseas when I don't even hold a full-time job yet. Even if it sounds illogical and immature, topped with irresponsibility and childishness, so be it. "Living for the moment" sounds irresponsible, but... oh well...

I'm enjoying rotting at home when I don't have to work currently, but not with the delay of my pay for the previous month.

Just wanna look at.. the sunset...

---------------------------------

노을..바라보다 [Look at... the sunset]
Officially known as Picture of You in English

[ All rights reserved for this photo of the sunset.]

Picture of You [Look at... the sunset].wma - TVXQ

TRANSLATION
Credits to: qinaaax3
Taken from: http://makikawaii.wordpress.com/tag/dbsk/

After the after glow sets,
I’m going towards you,
Following the lights which turn on one by one

I’ll embrace you,
Before the cold wind makes your shoulders flinch

I love you,
The foolish you,
You’re so precious to me

As much as the sun that rises above you,
I’ll keep you safe as much as you’ve waited for me, with this glaring heart,
All the dreams I’ve prayed for,
They’re going towards you with my sincere scent
More than the air I breathe

I hope that my wishes of smiling next to you every new morning,
Will be able to come true

I’ll wait for you,
I’ll never let go of your hands,
Even if it’s only tears,
I’ll wipe them away for you

Although we are not able to see the end,
No matter how bumpy our road is,
I’ll promise you, please be mine

As much as the sun that rises above you,
I’ll keep you safe as much as you’ve waited for me, with this glaring heart,
All the dreams I’ve prayed for,
They’re going towards you with my sincere scent,
More than the air I breathe,

‘I love you’ ‘You’re the only one’,
I want to yell those words out into the sky
I love you, my heart which feels like bursting is calling out to you

No matter how many times they find us,
No matter if we can’t breathe,

Like those invisible flower-like smiles,
Which shine just like the stars,
I’ll keep you safe beautifully

As much as the sun that rises above you,
I’ll keep you safe as much as you’ve waited for me, with this glaring heart,
I love you, I love you,
You’re the most beautiful in this world,
This dream-like heart,
More than the air I breathe

Romanization of lyrics

Noul..baraboda

jonyok nouri jigo hana dul kyojinun
bulbichul taraso noege gago iso
chagaun barame umchurin ne okaega
naeryo antgi jone naega gamsajulke

nal bwa love
you babogatun gudae
gu modun goshi naegen da sojunghangol

*gudae wiro toorun taeyangmankum
nuni bushin i gasumuro
gidaryojun shiganmankum nol naega jikyojulke

gidohan modun kumi ganjolhan
nae hyanggiro nama uril hyanghae iso
More than the air I breathe
More than the air I breathe

balgaol achime hamke usul su innun
naui baraemduri irwo
jil su itdorok
naega gidarilke ne son nochi anhulke
nunmul punira haedo naega dakajulke

kuchi boiji anhado
amuri homhan giriljirado yaksokhalke
my
my my my please be mine

*Repeat

saranghandago ijen gudae punirago
jo hanul kute sorichyo jonhago shipo
love you tojildutan gasumi gu
daerul burugo iso

apun shiryoni uril chajawado
gu apume mok meowado
da orumanjyo jul su innun naega do saranghalke
tumyonghan usumkochi banjjaginun jo byol
dulchorom
arumdapge nol nomanul bichwojulke
gudae wiro toorun taeyangmankum
nuni bushin i gasumuro
gidaryojun shiganmankum nol naega jikyojulke
saranghae nol saranghae
sesang
gajang nunbushin gudae kumgyolgatun i mam

More than the air I breathe

--------------

It's currently one of my favourite favourite favourite songs in the playlist on relentless repeat. :)

Update

2008-10-01T12:24:00.004+08:00

Grandpa has been transferred out of the MICU! He's now in the general ward, although still in the High Dependency Unit. But it means he should have improved enough to get out of the ICU.

We went to see him last night and he seems better too. The oxygen mask routine has to continue, but it's been reduced to 2 hours of oxygen mask, then 2 hours of breathing on his own, down from the previous 3 hours of oxygen mask then 1 hour of breathing on his own. There are also at least 2 nurses always on standby in the High Dependency ward, but the surroundings are much better than in the ICU. Even visitors feel more comfortable in the general ward, knowing the patient is one step closer to recovery. The ICU is quite suffocating, psychologically. This current ward has television too, so at least grandpa can get distracted by the television when he has the oxygen mask on, cuz he really dislikes the discomfort caused by the mask. Last night while we were there, and it was time for the oxygen mask to be put on again, he told the nurse he wanted to watch the tv programme first, so the nurse delayed it a little until the show ended. But we all know Grandpa doesn't like watching chinese tv programmes, much less a chinese variety show that was being shown. Gee... The doctors are monitoring his conditon and slowly giving him less help in breathing with the oxygen mask according to his ability to breathe on his own.

Grandpa will get better soon... :)

It's a public holiday today (Oct 1) Hari Raya Puasa, as well as Children's Day. So everyone gets a rest at home, then we'll head to the hospital to visit Grandpa again.

JingYu's first big exam of his life, PSLE, is coming this Friday. Same for JinHao. JingYu's just a little distance away from being very well-prepared, though his science showed significant improvement after the months of tuition in science from me. What an irony cuz science has never been my forte. Haha.. I hope JinHao is prepared too, from the guidance of his Dad. JinCai's exams will finally be over next wednesday (Oct 8) after a battle of the exams for an entire month. Hopefully by then Grandpa would have been discharged and we'll bring the boys to visit grandpa, and have a cousins' gathering.

:)

Love,
Ching

-------------------------------------------------
The above is what I just sent to my Uncle Boon, one of the many I've been writing in the past weeks.

Writing emails to my Uncle in Canada everyday has been like writing a diary. Everyday I update him about Grandpa's condition, as well as our daily lives, and my two little cousins' life. Hope to meet JinCai and JinHao soon, after the little ones' first big examinations of their lives, the PSLE. It's been quite some time since we met up, and I miss you guys.

-------------------------------------------------

Graduation's this Saturday (Oct 4) at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in the afternoon. We have to be there by 10:30am for briefing and whatever else. Guests will arrive later at 12:30pm. We've had our first graduation ceremony in OCU during our stay there, of which it felt more like a fun thing than an acutal graduation cuz we hadn't really graduated, with a few subjects still uncompleted. Now that we're done with everything, and going for a real graduation, it evokes another feeling. Mixed feelings, they say. "Rojak" feelings.

Then the next day, Oct 5, I'll be flying to Hong Kong for a short trip with my lovelies. We've came out with a very detailed itinerary and I hope nothing comes in our way to disrupt it. I'm looking forward to the Giant Buddha visit, where I can pray for Grandpa's recovery. I really hope he can recover soon... or it'll be hard for me to really enjoy, worrying about him constantly. Now that his condition has improved, my hopes are climbing a little in altitude.

For now, I need to start packing...

:)

I'm fine...

2008-09-26T10:34:00.002+08:00

I'm okay...

Thank you, my dears, for giving me strength. Your little messages of concern definitely lifted me up. I love you all so much. I know I'm not alone and have support from you lovelies. Thanks... :)

I'm just a little physically tired from all the journey to the hospital on top of an entire day's work. (Not that I need to run about for my job, but, you know, work just tires you out, even on days when you weren't even productive at work.)

On days that I have to make my way to the hospital from work alone, I either fall asleep in the bus, zone out, or am trying hard to fight back the tears from the heartache developing from the sight of Grandpa suffering. The music blasting in my ears help sometimes, and some other times I'm pushing away negative thoughts, praying hard, talking to Guan Yin Niang Niang, praying for her to hear my pleas and grant my wish again. It has always worked, from minor hopes to major wishes. And I'm hopeful that it'll work again.

Grandpa has to go through an operation to insert a tube/pipe to enable him to breathe properly on his own without the help of the oxygen mask. The oxygen mask had been making him rather uncomfortable, but that was already a step better than having two thick breathing tubes stuck down his throat on the first two days. Upon consent from family members, the operation would take place next Monday (Sept 29). I don't know much about the operation and how it would help, or the risks involved cuz the parents haven't got a chance to speak to the doctors about the operation yet to sign the papers.

I'm holding positive thoughts, and praying hard for the best outcome.

:)

好累。。。

2008-09-25T09:07:00.001+08:00

Tired,
Sleepy,
Hungry,
Pain.
Just wanna rest... and be relieved that Grandpa's on the way to recovery.

休息，是为了走更远的路。
可是我没有时间。
而且，前方的路，该怎么走？
好累。。。

Keep out, trouble.

2008-09-22T08:54:00.003+08:00

My grandfather's hospitalised in the MICU ward.
I'm terribly worried about his condition.
I had insufficient sleep last night.
My wisdom tooth had been hurting, and especially painful today.
It's Monday and I have to climb out of bed early to go to work.
I paid double for my cab fare because of a freaking jam.
I have car sick from the jerky taxi ride stuck in the jam.

These reasons are enough to keep me in a horrible mood for the entire day. I don't need more.

2008-08-06T16:26:00.003+08:00

外面的天气阴晴不定,
我的内心也像开了的汽水一样,
飘浮不定.

泡泡一点一点的灭,
热情也离我越来越远.

明媚的天色,
让我看到出口.

雷雨交加,
却使我连呼吸都觉得困难.

海阔天空的前方, 到底哪里才容得下我?

眼泪不经落下...

家家有本难念的经

2008-08-03T11:40:00.006+08:00

家家有本难念的经 (Every household has their own problems outsiders won't understand)

It's not an easy "scripture"(经) to read. Even if you're very close to your family members, there are bound to be frictions, conflicts, and difference in opinions, taking into account the generation gap as well. Point of views differ, but it takes an open heart and open mind to accommodate another opinion. True, you can try to convince me on your point of view, I can understand where you're coming from, but please, why not try to think from my point of view and try to understand me a little more?

Trained to look at an issue from many points of view from my education in the polytechnic to be a media person, I look at various things from a lot of different aspects, and I found the beauty of it. I could explore and find many different points of views, I could understand some, or find some disgusting, but it doesn't matter if I accept the other opinions cuz at least I'd tried to see it from a different angle. There's no need to put down my opinion or question like that. No one's entirely right, I'm just trying something different. You get agitated easily, even when I'm not even trying to agitate you at all. And when your fire's burning, you bring in many other non-related matters. I thought I learnt to shut up when I sense the slightest heat of your fire. But sometimes, the patience just run out. I know, everything you say or do, it's for my good. I know you love us, and want the best for us. I know you've given me a lot of freedom in many areas since young. I know you let me make many decisions on my own, even though there were some you didn't like. I know. But I just need you to give me more space for my opinions.

I'm not trying to impose my so called "modern day thinking" kind of opinions on you, I just tried to present to you different viewpoints that would make yourself less angry at other things or people, but you couldn't understand where I'm coming from, and splashed cold water at those thoughts. It doesn't help that she likes adding fuel to the fire in the battlefield. I know she's not as smart, and grew up overprotected by outstanding and overspoken siblings. I should have gotten used to it. Oh well.

I treasure our blood-related ties more than I seem to be on the exterior. Or rather, more than what you think. I just can't seem to be able to show it that much. You break my heart when you say you don't expect me to support you in your old age. I want to. Do I seem that unfilial? Stop saying that. I'm not heartless.

Don't say things that pollute our ties when you feel the anger rising. It's not worth it over little matters like that. Breathe.

Lastly, I still love you no matter what happens. The love for you all will never die, even if the physical body dies.

And I will make myself master the skill of shutting up my mouth and learn the art of it. It's not easy, cuz I wanted you to understand, but it seems to be better if I just listen, or pretend to understand even if I didn't.

The clock's ticking,
I'm always learning...

The Balance

2008-07-28T23:58:00.008+08:00

In this world, if you refuse to compromise and then think lightly of it, it'll be a torture. By saying "thinking lightly of it," I mean that one doesn't think of it as a sacrifice, but giving way to someone more important, something that might be better, something that makes everyone happy. If you think of it that way, you feel better, and everything becomes better.

For example, when you go on a trip overseas together, everyone compromises to find a date to set off, compromise on the places each person wants to go, and compromise on every other thing. But if the company is worth it, and everyone gives in some way or another, things will turn out fine.

Even simple things like deciding on a place to eat, sometimes this person gives in, another time another person gives in. It doesn't really have to be fair all the time, as long as things don't result in something bad. It's not business deals, so it doesn't have to be a fair trade all the time.

Selfishness and kindness are both in born. However, some events occur throughout one's life and change these beliefs, which then causes a change in attitude and behavior.

It's difficult to strike a balance between these two. Too much of either makes one's own life more difficult. So it's hard to blame if people can't find this center of gravity. It's just how they handle their lives. Change for the good or the worse, it's up to people to decide.

P.S: It's just some random thoughts.
Disclaimer: I don't point to specific events, just some general thoughts that can come from daily life, television shows I saw, books I've read, or websites I've seen. Random, that is. ;P

I like to people watch, and analyse people. I like studying psychology, cuz it's simply interesting. Then again, sometimes I think analyzing so many things in life is pretty tiring, why not just let things take its course in nature? Why must there be a solid plan for everything? Does a plan mean things will go the way you want them to? Of course, I'm not saying plans are useless, they are indeed very useful and of utmost importance in many areas. There, again, one just has to find the balance.

Steph said I should blog more often, to let others know what's going on in my mind cuz I don't often speak of them in person. I find typing or writing out my thoughts easier. My tongue is a little tied pretty often cuz my brains work faster than the tongue, and when I wanna say subject A, my brains are already processing the thoughts for subject B.
Okay, I will, Steph!

I was walking to Somerset towards my bus stop after I parted with Stephy at Ngee Ann City, and I saw this old man playing an instrument in the middle of the walkway as a busker. When I dropped that one dollar coin in, he paused his melody and said "Xie xie" (Thank You) to me with a bright smile, lacking some teeth. It immediately stirred a little something in me. I felt like I did something good for the day, and my mood immediately rose up the ranks, not that I was in a bad mood in the first place. But being able to help another gives a simple yet great feeling. I only wished I could do more. I love my grandparents dearly, having grown up with them, so old people on the streets having to make a living on their own makes me feel really bad. Of course, not all are out on the streets because their children are not supporting them well, I'm referring to those who do this because their children aren't doing what they can to support their parents who have painstakingly raised them up with all their might. Shame on them!

Every year, I go to Lim Chu Kang to pray to my grandfather (Dad's father) whom I've never met cuz he went to heaven even before my parents got married. I go not because I'm forced to, my parents never forced me, and they even gave me the option to stay home if I had tests or exams the next day, but I want to go. All because I felt that it's the least I could do. All grandparents like to see their grandchildren, all parents like to see their children too. Doesn't matter if they're alive or not, it's the livings' thoughts that count. Having read this, when was the last time you visited your grandparents, gave them a hug, and listened to them? Go ahead..
I gave my grandparents and parents a hug when I headed to the states, and another when I came back. Hugs are gifts of warmth, a gift that doesn't require any money nor too much effort, and are precious little gifts. Friends and family alike, a hug is more powerful than a thousand words. I visit my grandparents almost every week, cuz like I mentioned earlier, all old people like to have their grandchildren and children by their side, even if it's for a short while. Moreover, time doesn't wait for anyone, don't wait till the moment when regret kicks in. When regret starts kicking in, it's probably too late. So, don't wait if you can.

Wow... unknowingly, I've written so much again... I could go on and on... but I'm tired so I shall continue some other time cuz my random thoughts never end, they simply spiral off into something new. Co-relation? Uh-huh!

;P

"Uh-huh"

2008-07-27T11:03:00.032+08:00

The Nine took a total of 17,526 photos on our trip in the states, which takes up a whooping 29.5GB in my computer's memory space. Impressive huh... All thanks to our narcissism and love and passion for photo-taking. Never mind the photo-taking skills, we just love to point and shoot, throwing in some technical details like differing the focus or changing it to B&W or sepia at times. What to do? Everywhere where you point your camera at is a worthy shot, recording a moment of your life in somewhere different. And you tend to do silly poses or do things you don't do back at home when you're overseas. So there goes, the rationale for the folder of more than ten thousand photos titled "United States of America 2008," accumulated over a period of one month.

"We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun..."
I just wanna add, "and the gleeful cold.."

I can't possibly load all the photos here, and I can't decide which to upload and which not cuz they're all precious moments. Therefore, I'm gonna upload the jumping photos by Gjump, in Oklahoma and Los Angeles, in this post.

Enjoy!

A photo fit to be an advertisement for Oklahoma City University! We were all wearing our school t-shirts too!

Outside The Oklahoman, a daily newspaper in Oklahoma, after a tour of their operations.

In the TV production studio

Outside the Mass Communications Building

Not to mention Gjump's manager, who takes care of all our bags when we do our photoshoot, Daryl, and our photographer, James, who's always behind the camera. Our manager takes the role of the photographer when our official photographer goes missing too.. Hahaha..

At the National Weather Station in Oklahoma

Outside Wal-mart, where a number of us spent a considerable sum at. ;)

On Mount Scott, Wichita Mountains. Beautiful scenery, refreshing air, uplifted moods...

The vast grassland in Wichita Mountains...breathe-taking

Steph kept hurting herself, this time she missed a step and hurt her ankle right right when we were preparing to jump. So our love for this girl made us pretend to jump together. *hugs*

At Indian City, a heritage place. It's a pity lots of cultural stuff are dissappearing cuz not all people preserve them like treasures and tend to forget their roots...

Outside our Petree College of Arts and Sciences

The Cheesecake Factory from L.A., in Oklahoma. One good meal with The Nine(minus one) before we head out for our final shopping spree in OKC.

We stayed here for three weeks, spent a big fee for this hotel, but it's really worth the price. The service, the breakfast (although almost the same every single day in the three weeks, I kind of got used to it and miss it badly now), the area, the company I had...
I miss it...

With Donnie, our favorite bus captain for the three weeks in Oklahoma, who always praises us and say we'll make Singapore proud (aww...), outside Marriot Residence Inn, before leaving for L.A.

Then we went on to L.A. after the three joyful and fruitful weeks in Oklahoma...

At Disneyland, the happiest place on earth!

Outside Pacific Park at Santa Monica beach

At Universal Studios!

At Universal Studios!

Note: I edited out the extra people in some of the photos cuz I don't like extra people in our supposedly perfect photos.. Hahaha...

Love y'all, my dears!

Suffocated

2008-07-23T22:28:00.007+08:00

Please stop asking me what I plan to do after I graduate. Thanks.

I don't have much of an idea as of now.

I just feel suffocated, and I don't really know why. I get frustrated or irritated easily these days. The previous week it could have been pre-menstrual syndrome kicking in, then after that, post-menstrual syndrome continues the low spirits. But after that, I still feel the low spirits, I have no idea why.

But don't worry, I'm not suffering from depression, I still enjoy myself at times, smile like a fool when I watch TVXQ's videos, enjoy myself when I'm with people I love and like, trying hard to focus in class, have fun from playing SIMS, singing almost everyday at home, irritating my brother, playing with BearBear, and getting comfort from my smelly.

It's just that I cry at things that I usually don't get too emotional about previously. Like when I watched the movie "10 Promises to My Dog," tears poured uncontrollably when the doggie died. I tried really hard to not to sniff the mucus that follows the tears, and let the tears evaporate on its own until the movie ended. I knew a movie with a dog as the main lead of the movie will definitely get me crying when it dies, but I couldn't help it, the main lead was a golden retriever! My favourite speciies of dog - a very gorgeous and smart dog. Someone wanna buy me one? My two tortoises at home wouldn't mind some company. Gee...

I was looking out the window on the bus, like I always do. It suddenly dawned on me that besides falling asleep in the bus journeys, my eyes are usually glued to the cars passing by. And the thought of "if I had my own car..." never subsides through the years. Especially after I got my liscence, the desire only gets greater, much greater. Then it dawned on me that this habit of looking at the cars on the road must haven been cultivated since young cuz Daddy always ask me to count a certain color of the cars passing by when I complain of being bored on the journey to places.

Haven't drove Dad's car for 3 weeks already... Firstly, fuel prices are insane, so I can't ask Dad to let me drive around aimlessly. Then I usually can't wake up early enough to drive my brother and dad to the hawker centre at 10am. Secondly, driving with Dad beside me, supervising and eyeing my every move, is extremely stressful. And it doesn't help that my Dad is pretty impatient - all afraid that I might crash his car and hurt his insurance rebates, more importantly, endanger lives. Thirdly, if I managed to wake up early enough, I'm already hooked onto videos or games before they set off for brunch. Frankly, it's the second reason that's real, the rest, I figured, are simply excuses. I often escape from real problems. Really hate myself for that. Escaping from a problem only makes it snowball and escalate, waiting to explode. I know, but.. sigh.. I don't know. I seem to pick the wrong times to talk to my Dad. We either end up in an interesting and funny debate, or intense arguement. It's that extreme, we rarely make a conclusion of a topic without getting agitated about presenting our point of views first. These days, I learnt to just shut up when he starts rambling. It works very well if you just hold the anger in. When one doesn't continue the topic, the other will stop somehow. Only sometimes, agitation rushes up so fast that the brains haven't had time to send signals to stop the mouth from rambling some nonsense to spark more displeasure in the other. Oh well... shut up, just shut up, and he'll stop it. Say one less hurtful word, and save the day. It's okay.

"Confused" is no longer a suitable word to use.
"Emotional?" Yea, I guess so. Suddenly I figured my frustration is caused by my numerous wants which cannot be fulfilled. I hope they're not not ready to be fulfilled, and be realized one day which isn't too far. But I'm not doing anything to make that happen cuz of various reasons.

Class for Research Methodology is finally over. It's fortunate that we don't have to carry out the actual research, but just prepare a research proposal to hand in for grades as our post assignment. I guess it's the module itself, cuz the professor's good, that makes us restless in class and zone out every now and then during lectures. Sometimes when I zone out and the professor walks over and seemingly wana ask a question, I would nod slightly and look away, pretending to think, cuz I just zoned out and didn't hear what the professor asked. Sorry! It wasn't intentional, Prof!

Last module's almost over, except for three more tutorials. Then its exam on August 23, 2008 will mark our last hurdle towards our degree. And then, the question will start flooding in again. Like I said from the start, stop asking me already. I will naturally tell if I have an answer...

"Lonely.. I am so lonely, I've got nobody, I'm on my own~~ Woo~"
That's not entirely true for me, but it fits my mood pretty well.

My paragraphs don't really flow, cuz the fingers simply type what comes on my mind almost simultaneously. But who cares.

I think I should write on my blog more often and stop censoring so much information. It's making the pouring of my woes a little less easy. Writing my random thoughts is quite a good idea. Whether in my notebook, a word document, or on the blog. Anywhere's fine and sort of a relief. You write your thoughts down, and see them in a clearer view. Yup.

Just remember, when you feel the air around you thinning, walk away, and remember to breathe! Just breathe...

I'm Back!

2008-06-05T14:22:00.007+08:00

Steph sweetly made this 30 minutes video for The Nine's US trip, particularly in Oklahoma where The Nine was together everyday. (In the hotel, at least). A number of unglam photos, but these are the kind of photos you get when you travel with a bunch of friends, so just bear with it. But that's also the fun part! Hahahaha...

I miss the life there. Like Sam said in her blog, every single day we woke up in bed with a goal, an exciting plan running in our heads including where to go and what to do. Back in Singapore now, everyday I wake up and turn on my laptop, unsure of what I should or need to do. My luggages are half unpacked. I unpacked my "shopping and gifts" luggage I bought in Oklahoma, while my original luggage still sits there, waiting to be deported after getting striped of one of its wheels from violence in the process of struggling back to Singapore. After unpacking, I realized I really didn't buy that much for myself, I spent hundreds on gifts for people, as usual. Somehow, the thousands still dissappear mysteriously, even though I faithfully took down how I spent my every single cent until the last week, I gave up and focused on how much I have left to spend.

When I called Uncle Boon in Vancouver at LAX and told him about how much I'd enjoyed myself and not want to go back to Singapore, he says it's very different in a working environment in North America. But I still feel like trying, even though I'm not sure if I would at the end of the day. But I really hope to try working abroad, other parts of Asia would be fine too, cuz experiences make up what they call "life." ;P

Been fighting jet lag the past week, and finally managed to overcome it this week. Last week, I fell asleep at 6pm everyday and woke up naturally at 3:40am. It's neither my sleeping time in LA nor Oklahoma (according to their timezones.)

The photos are all being uploaded to facebook's photo albums. Just me alone took about 3000 pictures, plus the other 6 cameras from The Nine, we took about 15,000 photos for the entire month.

I actually missed the rest of The Nine when Jolene, Anais, and I arrived at Los Angeles and went separate ways from the rest. Even though Celest, Steph, Sam, and Daryl were in LA too, I still missed them, and James and Muneerah came back to the sunny island first. I love my Nine!!!

And I'll definitely miss jumping around. Absolutely love our awesome jumping shots!
Malaysia + United States of America = World Tour (wahahaha..That's what every celebrity do when they have many concerts in Asia, and just one or two concerts in US, they call it a world tour. So ours is a whole tour too!)
We shall go on a Singapore Tour soon! ;D

I learnt a lot and enjoyed this trip extremely. I just wished the trip could be even longer, like a year. It could be even better if I could go over to Canada to visit Uncle Boon and Carine. (I wished!)

Overseas trips with friends and families evoke different feelings, though they could be just as fun. With friends, you get more excitement going around feeling independent. On the other hand, with parents, you don't have to worry about finances at all, cuz Daddy takes care of everything. Wahahaha...

Hmm.. I think I've run out of things to say, for now. My random thoughts are never ending. Everyday I strain my brains thinking about things that would not realize. Of course I hope it would be realized, but looking at the way I'm not making any efforts to realise it, I guess I shall stop thinking about it for now. Bleargh... La la la la la~

Love,
Ching ;D

Goodbye, Yee...

2008-03-06T18:03:00.007+08:00

Our aunt left us today...

My grandmother called and said, "Ah Ching, Yee's gone," in Hokkien. I handed the phone to my mum, who still had a smile on a few moments ago. She held back her tears while on the phone with my granny, but broke down once she called my dad to break the news to him. We were prepared for the news since last night, the doctor said her liver had failed, and she might not pull through the night, but she did, and held on till 3pm. The whole night I couldn't sleep with ease, worried that my phone will ring anytime, bringing bad news. I fell asleep at 2am, only to wake up at 5am. I fell asleep again at 6am, only to wake up at 8:30am or so. I guess my family members didn't had good sleeps too, who could? It took me some time to digest what I heard from my granny, "Yee's gone." Till now, that sentence lingers in my head.

It took me about 15 minutes before the reality hit me. Being prepared is one thing, when the moment actually arrives, it's another. I stood at the window in the yard, seeing the cars pass by, children returning home from school, buses bringing loads of people to their destinations, then it all became blurred; my face was wet with tears. Burying my face in my hands, I let it all out as the traffic drowned me out, and even louder when the air force planes fly pass. I have no idea how long it took for me to calm down, but the weird feeling stays, eyes still warm with tears. Even a shower didn't help much.

It was a pain watching her suffer in the hospital the whole day yesterday. It's a relief for her, end of all the physical pain she bore throughout the four years of fighting with cancer; Breast cancer, Bone cancer, Brain cancer, and back to the bones. Sigh... Cancer is a merciless killer, no doubts.

My grandparents must be devastated. It's already hard for family members to see loved ones pass away, even harder when the elderly have to send their children off earlier than themselves, as the chinese saying goes, "白发人送黑发人." The only time I saw my grandfather cry was during my great-grandmother's wake. The second time was in the hospital yesterday when he saw my aunt lying in bed, struggling with every breath, heart aching to see his once lively and energetic daughter reduced to bones and dependant on sedatives to lessen her pain.

My mum was closest to this aunt, having just an age gap of a year. She cried really hard, even harder when I went over to give her a hug. Mummy, I've never said this in your face since I'd grown up, but I love you. I know you'll read this after some time. I love you, Mummy. I love you, Daddy. I love you, JingYu. I'm thankful to have you with me. Thank you so much...

The most worrying are my two cousins. They seemed fine yesterday at the hospital when we left, giving us big cheery smiles and waves as we entered the lift. One's 16-year-old, taking his "N" levels this years, another's 12-year-old, the same age as my brother, and taking his PSLE this year as well. The younger one might still be unclear of what's really affecting him, the older one doesn't show his unhappiness on his face, but I'm sure they're one of the most affected. I believe they'll be strong. Their mother was a very strong woman, being totally independent after separation and supporting herself, the domestic helper, and her two sons. Caicai, be strong, k? Your little brother needs you. All of us will support you in whichever way we can. *hugs*

It might be too late to say this now, but if my aunt had gone for the operation last december to get rid of the cancer cells that reappeared, she might have won the battle against the illness again, like she had the previous times. We never knew of her condition then. Just one thought of hers that we cannot comprehend, no malicious intend, though. She said she believed God will pull her through this, and did not want to go for the operation. The maid told us yesterday that she had encouraged my aunt to go for the operation then, telling her that God had sent the doctor to cure her, she should go for it. But she didn't want to, she believe God would cure her. There's nothing we can say now, it's over. It was her decision. Thinking from her viewpoint, it must have been terribly tiring to fight against the illness, she must have been exhausted. Like she said, she's ready to go into the arms of God. But my mum told me that my aunt wrote on a slip of paper to the doctor, that said, "I want to live, I don't want to die," before the doctor gave her sedatives. Her will to live was very strong, it is what had pull her through all the while, but treatment was no longer of much help.

Tonight the wake will start. I don't know how well I can hold back my tears. I don't like crying in front of others, including my family. But I'm fine, really, I just need time. My brother hardly understands the situation, and is talking rubbish to make me laugh. Or maybe he knows, he's just trying to soften the tension. Sigh...

Life is unpredictable and fragile. Like the XBox advertisement suggests, "Life is short, play more," just go ahead and do things you think is right and will make your life more fulfilled.

Goodbye, Yee... We'll miss you a lot! Your boys will be strong. Life without you will never be the same, but we hope you've sought peace up there. Bye...

Love,
Ching & family

My Actual 21st Birthday Celebration

2007-12-24T15:09:00.000+08:00

Hazelnut Latte at Pacific Coffee

Nice dinner at Dian Xiao Er, with interesting decor.

My beautiful Strawberry Cheese cake from Secret Recipe - *drools*

The Rituals...

Oh yes, my brother treated me to pizza for lunch before we went out. Kimchi pizza & Unagi pizza from Oishi Pizza - Yummay!~

It was simple yet sweet. I understand why people say sometimes simplicity is the best. Yea, sometimes is good. ;)

Cheers!~

My 21st Birthday Celebration - November 10, 2007

2007-11-14T01:01:00.000+08:00

It was a struggle thinking if I should hold a party for my long-awaited 21st birthday. Deciding on the venue was a headache itself, the rest (besides constantly bugging my guests for their attendance cuz of the pitiful number of replies if I didnt chase them) went pretty smoothly. But I'm very glad and feeling really blessed that everything that gone well.

Aside from those who couldn't come cuz of the bugging examinations, most of those on my guest list responded with a very satisfying "Yup, i'll be coming!" A simple reply with every sms or email, but it never failed to bring a smile to my face.

Thank you, my dears! I Love You!!! *muackz* with a big beary hug!
Thank you for coming despite your busy schedules. Some like Cheryl, ChenYi, Cousin Diana, came against all odds despite the intimidating final term exams. *Hugs* My aunts from my Dad's side rushed upon realizing it was the day too. Aunt Esther also brought my cousins down even though she felt a little unwell.

I really appreciate the efforts you guys made to come down to my party, really. Neomu Gamsahamnida! *Bows*

For those who didn't come, you don't love me anymore!
(Quoted from Samantha) :p

It was a really happy day for me! I know I didn't host everyone well, and there were moments where I felt a little awkward and didn't know where to sit or who to chat with next. I'm sorry for not attending to everyone well. This is what had kept me back from organizing a big party like this where friends from almost all my life come together and I don't know who to attend to. But I promise, the next time we meet up again, I'll try my best to entertain everyone. ;D

Undoubtedly, the biggest thank you should go to my parents. If not for them, I wouldn't be here. As cliche as it could get, it can hardly burst out from my vocal chords and out of my mouth. So here goes... I Love You, Mummy! I Love You, Daddy! (Hmmm...since my brother would most likely be reading this with my mum...fine...) I Love You too, JingYu! You idiot! wahahaha... Sorry, that's what we siblings like to call each other. :p

Photos Galore

Group Photos

Individual photos
Mummy dearest (Daddy busy singing in the other room)

Yuan Ching Secondary School + My favorite "Media People"

Oklahoma City University + Cousin Diana & cousin-in-law-to-be

Tanglin Primary School

By the way, I only managed to sing like a few songs. Half a song here, another half there, and a handful of duets. And I thought it was supposed to be my concert! Hahaha... Never mind, I was busy running around attending to this and that and receiving and sending off my lovely people, so it's fine. Just feel free to ask me out to sing, I can never ever get tired of singing!

After my "concert" ended, the guys drove us to wheelock and Fish & Co. became our choice for dinner since no one had better suggestions. It wasn't too bad actually, just that the rice in the seafood platter was a bit dry. Fortunately, the very humourous and sometimes over-friendly guys made up with their antics and jokes over dinner, especially Soon Kiat who can makes friends with virtually everyone. Hahaha...

Then it was down to HuiMin & YongYik, Cheryl, MingYi, and I for a long chat at Starbucks down Orchard Road until a quarter before it striked midnight. If laughing to the point of tears rolling down uncontrollably isn't funny, then I don't know what is. A great time reminiscing about our thousand and one funny, playful, naughthy, and irresistably enjoyable acts in primary school. The awesome place where I met awesome people who moulded the first decade of my life. I gotta say, those who still play a part in my life, will continue to be part of my story till the end of time.
"Amigos para sempre" means you'll always be my friend.

When I finally reached home after a whole day of fun and love, it was the presents-opening ceremony!!!

THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH! I realise you guys have a grasp of my taste pretty well eh. Every present suits me perfectly. I love it all! Another bear hug! Now I can strike off several items off my wishlist and continue wishing for the rest for christmas. Wahahaha... kidding..

Oh, and grab me anytime cuz I'm really pretty free, free from work and classes, apart from driving lessons in the middle of the day. ;D

See you lovelies again around the Christmas seasons ya!

CHEERS!~ Happiest 21st to myself tomorrow! I'm one blessed girl with many people who love me enough to come to my party. ;D

My Wishlist

2007-11-05T03:02:00.000+08:00

It's hard to come up with a wishlist that's decently affordable. When i tried listing down the things i wanted, i realized i seem like a rather materialistic girl. Haha... Then the next thought was, "am i asking for too much?" Actually, there isn't a need to follow these... but i guess it makes things a little easier for some.. hee...

My cousin messaged me and asked me if there was anything i'm dying to have. The first thing that came to my mind uncontrollably is the thing i've been learning to operate. So i replied, "Yes, a Car." Hahaha..

Oh well, i guess that can only be realized in the further future.

Meanwhile, this is what i got from squeezing my brain juices when i'm bored at work.

[Items not in order of preference]

1) 61-keys Electronic Keyboard

I saw a few below $150 on Yahoo Auctions. Some new ones, some 2nd hand ones. I don't mind either. As long as they don't look too old and work better than my 54-key one that sounds horrible. ;)

2) Mp4 Player
Daddy has taken care of this.. hee..

3) Watch [Fulfilled]

Something along the line of these. I'm attracted to the watches with a "bling" element and thus am often attracted to Trofish watches. Would really like the clock face to have the two/three other dials within it. Like white leather or black in metal. Loves big watch faces.
Visit Trofish website / Guess websites ;)

4) Wallet [Fulfilled]
Red in patent/matt leather would do fine. Something with a shiny metal tag on the exterior would suit my taste. Doesn't have to be branded but it could look something like Pierre Cardin's. ;)

5) Metallic red/pink nice pen that would fit perfectly into an organizer. [Fulfilled]
[Taken]

6) Digital Camera
This is too much i know, but i'm just listing what i'm wishing for so ignore me if it's way over budget. Haha... Fast shutter speed is crucial! A red/pink metallic cover for the photo-taking machine would make my day. The market has lots of good digital cameras that come in beautiful colors, and i'm almost dying for one. Hahaha...

7)Air tickets or sponsorships to Japan, Korea, HongKong, Taiwan, and USA.
This is crazy, i know.

8) Microsoft Office 2007 Home and Student Edition
My system uses Microsoft Works and it sucks. I've fallen in love with the trial version of it and would need it once the trial copy expires on November 30, 2007.

9) Ang Baos [Fulfilled]
I would gladly receive all ang baos or cash for my many funds to support my needs and wants. It's ultimately practical and definitely user-friendly and lovable.

10) TVXQ merchandises [ Somewhat Fulfilled]
Their necklaces and DVDs are pretty attractive, but don't come cheap, so i'm been holding back getting them except for their albums. Heh...

11) A Driving License
I guess only the tester can give me this present i hope to receive as a late christmas present. Haha.. I'll pray hard...

--> Please Avoid <--
- Things that are to be eaten
I will not bear to eat it till it's nearing its expiry date cuz it's given to me as a present and I would wana keep it for as long as possible.

- Things that will be used up
Like the above, i wil not bear to use it. Things like creams and all, i will keep it till the color changes and not bear to use it to its last drop. Otherwise, i will use as little as possible so that i can keep it longer.

- Accessories
This may seem like the best choice of gift for a person like me who cannot go out of the house without at least a piece of accessory. But my mum is complaining that my little dressing table is flooding with earrings, necklaces, hair accessories, and bracelets and bangles. So refrain from this, k?

In conclusion, I'll like anything that's given to me cuz it's given by my favorite lovely people who take precious time out to celebrate this day with me.

Love you guys soooo much! I'm a happy girl...

Cheers!!~

Edited on November 14, 2007 on the items fulfilled... :P

SATA Mobile Health Screening Bus

2007-10-29T23:44:00.000+08:00

I finally saw the SATA Mobile Health Screening bus in action today and a sense of familiarity swept over me. It was parked right beside the UOB P1aza, awaiting patronage from the busy bank executives. Talk about working on an entire ICM campaign for the organization with De'lites for more than a semester and not having seen the bus at all.

All of a sudden the memories grained in my cortex were triggered and started flashing images in front of my eyes - the good (and not as good) ones, the time and effort, the sweetness of victory, the undeniable happiness, and the surreal feeling of winning. I've probably recalled this here a hundred times now, but hey, my life is not that interesting after all. Hah...

In case anyone's been wondering what SATA stands for, it simply means Singapore Anti-tuberculosis Association, not the SATA disk or drive, you IT people. But as tuberculosis has lost its foothold in claiming health of humans in the recent decades, SATA has moved towards providing one-stop health screening services. The not-for-profit organization also puts helping the poor and needy as its priority in contributing back to the society.

So, what are you waiting for? SATA is your preferred choice for your one-stop health screening services!

BE SATA-fied!

Why does this sound so familiar? Hahaha....

Anyway, work in the bank is quite monotonous, but I was warned when I went for the interview, so although I'm falling asleep from looking at the data, it isn't that bad after all. The people are generally nice too.

Best of all, the moo-lah! If not for the moo-lah, I would gladly laze my one-month vacation away or find some things to do. I'm sure there're many things around for you to do anytime. Example, pack your room(!), revamp your wardrobe, learn or pick up a new skill/language, help your mum clean the house (winter-cleaning), calling and meeting up with old/new friends, surf the net and spend days and nights watching the millions of videos online... the list goes on and on...

That's all folks!

Cheers!~ ;)

The Moon

2007-10-27T06:37:00.000+08:00

Taken from my room window

Isn't the moon pretty? It looks big doesn't it? Many people will go "Wow, the moon's big!"

In fact, the moon is not any bigger than it always is. The size of the moon doesn't change, all this is caused by optical illusion, as enlightened by Dr Bryan Farha.

The reason why the moon looks bigger is because your eyes are comparing the building to the moon. When the moon's high up in the sky and there's nothing next to it for you to compare, it naturally looks much smaller.

That's one trivia for ya!~

Cheers!~ ;)

"Forever Love"

2007-10-21T01:24:00.000+08:00

Even before I saw the translations of the japanese lyrics for this song, the melody had already captured me. Beautiful...

(Tohoshinki/TVXQ - Forever Love)
credits to Rhythm Zone Japan and Youtube

Cheers!~

Advertising & PR over!~

2007-10-15T16:43:00.000+08:00

It seems like we've been fussing around the advertising and PR modules for a long time, all because of some cock-ups and an additional module in between when we were already pulling our hair cuz of the two campaigns that we had to do individually in the mere few weeks. If we didn't fight for the extension of deadlines, we would have been bald by now. Ha..

Anyway, here's the creatives I did for Ambush, the 'client' that I identified for my advertising campaign.

Lift Advertisement

Magazine Advertisement

Loyalty Card

VIP Card

Voucher

Credits: Red flowery background from the ambush official website and food pictures from all over the worldwide web.

And I don't wish to talk much about my PR campaign anymore. Just wana thank dear 12-year-old Stephy and Hot Stuff Jolene for calling me immediately when they found out that SPCA was one of the organizations that we weren't allowed to do - which meant I was left with 1 and a half day from the time I received the girls' call at 4pm to redo an entire campaign. Thank goodness things seem to turn out fine for now, though I had to leave out a few components cuz of time constraint for the new campaign. At least I managed to complete the necessary components and handed it up on time today, although it weighs on me that I chose the route that leaves me some guilt. Oh well...like what John Locke says in Utilitarianism, if it's for the greatest good for the greatest number, it's fine. It's over anyway... I truly hope...

Work at the bank tomorrow (thanks to Anais who is on an adrenalin high) was warned that it would be dry stuff and the work will be monotonuous as compared to my previous jobs in the media industry. But for oh-so-useful money, it's fine for a one-month job. They say money makes the world go round. Well, although everyone knows that the earth orbits around the sun from scientific evidence, money does play a role too.

I'm not thinking well again... Need some good sleep, quite desperately... Money too, I don't wana eat grass too, Sam!

Annyeonghi Kasaeyo!

Cheers!~ ;D

Dinner with Dr. Wheeler at Everest

2007-10-03T03:40:00.000+08:00

It's been a year since we last saw Dr. Wheeler, our professor for our Arts & the World module last October.

That's fast! I haven't realised a year had passed since I started on this degree course, and it's probably wake-up time now. Not that I've been getting lousy grades and that I should start studying hard, I've been getting grades that are mainly satisfactory to me and Daddy, but more of straightening my thoughts all jumbled up there and start considering my career path. Man, I'm undecided. I wanted to graduate fast when I first started the course but now when we're about halfway through, a different feeling surges. Urgh...

Anyway, it was a nice dinner, with good company and good food(even though we've gone there a million times now - kidding!)

Like our amiable Granny

I didn't take too many pictures of the food cuz the humans were starving and dug into the meats almost immediately once they landed on the dinner table.

The next time we meet Dr. Wheeler will be next April when we fly over to Oklahoma. We're so looking forward to it, to the month's stay there, graduation ceremony, and of course, extension of the trip. Afterall, having flown twenty over hours over the oceans, it doesn't make sense not to make use of the chance to travel to other places as well, unless circumstances do not permit. If it does, I want to go to the Disneyland, I hadn't had enough fun there when I went there 11 years ago; one day simply isn't sufficient. Visiting my Uncle and cousins in Vancouver sounds good too, but he'll probably be too busy with his business to bring me around. Gee..

If touring around USA isn't an option, then I would very gladly hope to transit at Japan and stay for a few days there. I don't mind travelling alone, it would be extremely exciting, considering my knowledge of the native language - not much, even though I attempted to pick up the language by buying a purple-colored-covered book teaching it (or is it a Japanese-English dictionary? I can't remember.) Of course, I welcome with my open arms, someone who wishes to go touring Japan with me. If this hope realizes, I guess I will be contacting Clarice every now and then to ask her about Japan and its language. Haha... And maybe I might bump into one of TVXQ's events in Japan! (Allow me to dream, can?) Probably I could fly over to Korea too, and practise the little korean I'm learning, again, on my own and through free online lessons. Budget!

Urgh, now isn't the time to let my beautiful thoughts of travelling roam, but who doesn't want to?

Gee... "Money, money, money, please come to me!" Celest, you wana hire me as your Mandarin translator for your Xiaozhu forum? haha...

Random 1:
I've got a lot of random thoughts, especially these days. Some of which I dwell too much on, and some I simply push to the back of the mind. I might be cooping myself at home too much, with the examinations and assignments hoovering around and never really getting to doing it, that I'm getting some mood swings. I cry easily when I watch shows, dramas, or even clips of people crying. I get emotional, but I recover fast. Or maybe, it's just PMS. Bleargh...

Random 2:
It's October 3, 2007, 5:10AM now. I'm feeling slightly sleepy but cannot fall asleep. I'm enjoying the peace of the night too much that it does my body no good here in Singapore. However, I guess it helps when we go over to the US, I think I can adapt to the jetlag faster. Oh well...

Random 3:
For the whole day (October 2, 2007) up to this moment (October 3, 2007), I've been listening to just one song. Repeating and repeating endlessly, and I'm still not sick of it. I have the habit of sticking to one song and listening to just that song if it really captures me. After about a month or two, I would then get really sick of it and not even click on it for the next month. My highest record to date is three months. Wahahahaha... By the way, this current song that got me is the second video in my previous post. The melody speaks melancholy and the lyrics, beautiful. Of course, the vocals play a big part too. ;)

Random 4:
I'm trying to learn how to play the piano recently, by myself. Lack of funds to go for classes. Free teaching, anyone? Any kind souls? Oh, and I did mention I was "trying to learn," one toddler step at a time. I can play Ode to Joy and My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean with some chords now. *Applause, please* Thank You! Practise for the simpler version of Canon is ongoing but making slow progress. Him-ne-sae-yo! Gam-ba-li-mas!

Random 5:
I think I'm talking nonsense now. My fingers just keep going, typing whatever comes to mind. Fine, I shall go to sleep and allow my body to replenish whatever it needs. The Moon is chasing me off to Dreamland before it changes shift with the Sun so that Chang-e has a companion to search for the bunny that had gone hunting. See, I'm full of rubbish now. Bleargh...

That's all folks! Fighting! Jal ja yo!~

Cheers to anything that's worth a cheer! ;D

Lovely...

2007-10-01T06:36:00.000+08:00

I enjoy listening to acapella a lot, I love how it harmonizes and touches the audience with it. It's simply amazing isn't it?

Acapella always reminds me of my choir days in secondary school. I miss it, I really do, and it's a whole lot. Those competitive days, weekly rehearsals, performances, anxiety, happiness, joy, and not forgetting the fun-loving, and sometimes a little crazy, seniors... It's a pity our school choir disappeared in my third year of secondary school life, due to the lack of new blood. But the love for singing has never left me, ever. My brother thinks my singing irritates him, my neighbours probably think so too, but I can't help it. ;)

TVXQ singing Gospellers's "Towa ni"

TVXQ singing "Towa ni" together with the original singers - Gospellers

Drive

2007-09-24T15:19:00.000+08:00

I must be really yearning to drive. Last night was not the only night that I dreamt of myself driving, without a liscense.

It may just be a useful skill to others, but I've always wanted to know how to drive ever since I was a kid. Since I was a baby, I've always sat in my dad's car and seen him man the machine to make it move and get us to places. In fact, I must have already felt it when I was still in my mum's womb; babies inside their mum's womb are actually already aware of their surroundings, they just don't remember it when they grow up because everyone gets amnesia at a certain age (about one-year-old or so) and forgets their "baby-hood," according to a Discovery programme.

And so, I'm finally working towards realising my goal of handling the moving machine and truly falling in love with it. It's funny how I put off learning to drive when I'm 18, I was probably afraid that I might not be able to handle it after all and disappoint myself. Hahaha...

Trivia: Do you know that driving was legal at the age of 16 before I think year 2001, in Singapore?

I was at the age of 15, excited at the fact that I could learn driving the next year end since my birthday was in November (on the 15th by the way. ;P) Then they had to announced that they're pushing the age back to 18, for good reasons. I guess I don’t blame them, 16 is indeed too young a age for drivers to learn responsibility, even 18 is too young for some.

Oh well... this is no time to worry if I would be able to control that moving machine well now, my advertising campaign is waiting for me in another window and throwing a temper, I can't possibly ignore it when it's due this Saturday, so is the advertising examination. Back to my advertising campaign!!! Urgh...the more I get nearer to completing it, the more I doubt if I'm on the right track...

TVXQ! 동방신기 東方神起 Tohoshinki

2007-08-31T20:05:00.000+08:00

TVXQ! 동방신기 東方神起 Tohoshinki

These five mainly 21-year-old guys from Korea have been topping the Korean and Japanese(Oricon) music charts. Leading the korean wave(hallyu) around asia, these guys have what they've got to rise to such fame - Vocal and dance skills, plus looks - all of them were chosen to be artistes with SM Entertainment after winning nation-wide contests held by the largest entertainment company in Korea. They have won countless pretigious awards in Korea through the years but they are not intending to stop just there. Mastering the Japanese language only added to their advantage in the Japanese music industry, the 2nd largest after America. True enough, they are doing well all around asia these days and still constantly trying to conquer greater heights.

Take a glimpse at their acapella skills from this short video from their 2007 concert in Japan!

And this is the song that attracted me to them.. ;)
Tonight

...this is a "live" version.

This is a coverage done by a English TV station in Korea, Arirang, of TVXQ's climb to fame, in English language.
Part 1

Part 2

By the way, when they mentioned the countries that they were well-received in, they forgot to mention the rising number of fans in Singapore and Malaysia. Ya, I'm one of them in Singapore. Only, I'm over-aged to be screaming and jumping if I see them, I'll just laugh and remain infatuated at most. Hahahaha...

Enjoy!

Cheers! Love ya!

Public Relations Campaign Planning and Management

2007-08-07T14:13:00.000+08:00

Finally, both Advertising and Public Relations modules are over. It's a tiring yet fruitful 18 days.

We learnt a lot, and played a lot. It's always fun with my clique of nine, and you can call us selfish, but we're really happy with nine. Not less, nor more.

Prof. Griffin was fine, not as notorious as we've heard. Actually, I think her rules are reasonable - things like being punctual, doing your assignments, participating in class. She's pretty entertaining too, with all the stories about her family and colleagues to emphasise certain points of the lecture. As long as you follow them and do your work well, she's really fine.

Dinner with Prof. Kenna Griffin at Vil'age

Second last day of PR lectures, all of us decided to accompany Celest and wear pink. Prof. Griffin challenged her to wear pink for all the 18 days of lecture, and no doubt, she made it, except for the last day for power suits.

See, our princess is all dressed in pink, even her socks and insides are pink - full set. (Except for James who refused to change into the pink shirt Celest brought for him. Good Daryl changed into pink...)

Time for some planning again. This time, crisis management. Preparation for our press conference, again in Pines KTV. We seemed like we were having a good time huh? Well, actually, it was pretty good, except for Jolene who was totally stressed out and thought the rest of us had nothing better to do.. oops...
See, she's singing with the styrofoam microphone and trying to swallow the small mic.

Last Day of class! Press Conference! And CREA8 is ever ready.

DV Camera; fake mics from styrofoam; speaker from a straw, pom pom and funnel; make-shift company tag - All out of the hands of our dear Celest.

And I gotta praise our spokesperson, Jolene. You did a great job answering all those questions! When we were asked why we chose Jolene as our spokesperson, I sort of wanted to answer, "because she has pretty dimples," but I went ahead to say because she has the composure to deal with pressurising circumstances like such - which is true too. Celest and I will go blank if it were us, and Anais would throw the chair at "hostile reporters." Hahahaha...

Group Picture! Hugs!

Time to plunge into my advertising and public relations campaignS!

Cheers! ;)

---------------------------------------------------

Clarice's Birthday! - July 4, 2007

It's long overdue, but there you go...
My face's super white here... haha.. Anyway, we managed to meet up after a long long time for our Ms. Japanese-wanabe's birthday at The Chocolate Factory. Nina brought her huge SLR, but The Chocolate Factory didn't allow photo-taking at their premises, so we could only do with a few photos. Gavin the "abang" also joined us before rushing back to camp.

Getting gifts for Rice isn't too hard? We showered rice with presents that had everything to do with Japan. Pretty kimono fabric-made bags and pouches. Even I like them too.. Heh...

Cheers!!~

CREA8 Advertising Agency

2007-07-26T14:49:00.000+08:00

*Owner of this blog owns full copyright to the CREA8 Agency logo. Copying of the logo without permission will not be tolerated.

This is my advertising agency. Well, we're not fully functional, and operated solely for academic purposes. ( I wished we operated for monetary profit too. Haha...) But I'm proud of my group and feel fully satisfied although we did not clinch the account. I think we did pretty well. Heh.. ;D

We had a good time working together. What with a Hot Stuff, Pornstar, Hello Kitty, and MaMa in our group. And I'm remembered as Princess Fiona. Unique combination huh?

Who else prepares for their presentation in a KTV? Yes, we did.

Moreover, we operate this way:
When Jolene is stressed, she can't think.
When Celest is stressed, she loses things.
When Anais is stressed, she can't find things.
When Fiona is stressed, she gulps drinks.
Together, we're CREA8 Advertising.

Wahahahahaha...

To strengthen our corporate identity, we wore matching colors to the pitch.

Coincidentally, the combination of red and black was our professor's favourite colors.

And we looked like a team here...

Now it's time for the Public Relations module, and may I say it's pretty notorious? Oh well.. we'll see.. I'm sick... Urgh...

Cheers, anyway! :)

2007-07-11T02:58:00.000+08:00

~ Mid-May to Mid-June Update ~

MOTHERS' DAY - May 13, 2007

MOTHERS' DAY - May 14, 2007

May 25, 2007

MINDS CAFE

EVEREST NEPALESE RESTAURANT

May 26, 2007

June 5, 2007

June 20, 2007

April Update

2007-05-17T01:19:00.000+08:00

April Update

Things happened in the month of April, both good and bad. I think my defense mechanism is acting up and pushing back unfond memories, so I can't recall much about the month. Just the good things remain in my conscious mind, all the rest are hidden away in some corner of the sub-conscious mind. Oh well... we should always look ahead, isn't it? So, just look ahead... Hahaha... Once again, my English has gone away from me again, I'm talking rubbish now.

Anyway...Cheers! =D

Visual DNA

2007-04-09T19:17:00.000+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

A joke turned bad

2007-04-07T13:27:00.000+08:00

It was totally uncalled for, a joke turned bad - miscommunication that brought about misunderstanding, and an extra buzzing bee thrown in to fan the flames.

It's stressful to organise any events, because you're held responsible for everything. When things go well, people don't thank you for that because assuming that things would go as planned is a thinking of the norm. Besides, that's what everyone hopes for, isn't it? But when one thing proceeds any other way but the way you planned, the whole train collapses as well. Anyone thinks we cannot understand this? Buzz off if you're ignorant, we don't need your guidance, no thanks.

Miscommunication = Misunderstanding = Irrational Emotions = Irrational Behavior = Dire Consquences

Then this song came to our minds:
"無心傷害, 你應該明白...
I never meant, I never meant to hurt you..."
(verses from Alex To's song)

So our friendship for more than a decade is that fragile? That I didn't know. I probably don't wish to know. It's upsetting enough. If there're enough reasons to remain angry even after our apologies, actions taken, remorse, and time having passed, then I believe we have sufficient reasons to be upset about the whole incident too. Please also remember to put our feelings at that point of time and all throughout the night into consideration. It certainly did not go anywhere near good.

Urgh...this is all so pointless, just so pointless. The whole incident is simply meaningless, I don't wish to say anymore, since the one who should be listening won't listen now.

We're officially forsaken for now. Our sincerity? Forgotten. Period.

Off I am to Dreamland in hope of peace and solace. -End of story-

"Three in the black"

2007-04-01T01:50:00.000+08:00

The result for the previous module, Behavioural Science (Psychology), that I'd taken last month was just released last weekend. And I had to be informed by my classmate where and how to get my results from the OCU website. *phew

My class with our professor for Psychology

Photo Credits: Stephanie and James

The night before the paper, I'd attended Re-connect, a SP DMC graduates' gathering, thinking I had sufficient time for a final revision when I got back from the event since I'd started my revision pretty early due to the strong interest in it. But I left later than planned and the cabs refused to come, De'lites and I spent about 30 freaking minutes before we finally managed to grab a cab. Then time slipped by and the sun rose quickly, every car that roared by the road below meant the time for the morning paper was closing in, and I haven't caught even a wink. Coffee only makes you wide-awake physically; the neural messages don't fire as often so your thought processes slow down, heartbeat quickens from overworking throughout the night, and more adrenalin is produced - bringing about a fake 'high' - but I drank it anyway. Being wide-awake with a slow-processing brain is better than dozing off on the paper - I'll beat myself up real bad if I can't score for a subject I like that much, studied that passionately, and spent so much time reading up on. What's more, I had to pack my bag for HuiMin's birthday party chalet right after the paper. I thought I could faint once we assembled at HuiMin's house, but the coffee kept me in a zombie-like state. Eventually, I only zonked out at about 2am some time after the party had ended; it was the earliest I'd gone to sleep at a chalet. Hahahaha...

By far, I've gotten the results for the three modules that I've taken over the months, and they have been very satisfactory. The most recent module - Politics, Economics, America and the Future - did not excite me too much, though thank goodness we got a professor who explained the history of America to us in a very easily-understandable manner. I'd heard from a schoolmate who is in the same course but a few terms ahead of me, that she'd gotten a professor previously who expected them to get a full understanding of American history themselves. *phew* Finding an article on American issues then proceed to work on an assignment about it isn't something someone like me would put as number one on my list. I don't even keep track of local politics, how much can America's interest me? The competitive side of me wants to continue being satisfied, but procrastination tugs my legs. I hope the former wins the battle, I really do.

Well, life's been pretty good. How bad can life be when you're on a study break, even when you've got a paper to study hard for and assignments to complete? I've granted myself a week's break from studies after the lectures and tutorials ended about last week. As much as I want to indulge in the world of videos from tudou.com (a Chinese equivalent of Youtube which provides video clips with better resolution and audio quality) for the whole break, the consequences will be too much to bear if I do just that. Oh well... I'm not complaining, really.

Til then, folks!

Cheers to a new month! Happy April Fool! ;D

January 1 - March 21, 2007 Update

2007-03-25T21:36:00.000+08:00

There're too many things that I had wanted to say but too lazy to after such a long time. It's hard waiting for photos to come in when it isn't from your camera, so... ;)

Anyway, a photo galore shall do all the talking for me..

Enjoy!

January 3, 2007

Countdown to year 2007

January 5, 2007

Dinner with De'lites at Secret Recipe

January 6, 2007

XiaoFei Aunt's Wedding

With our tortoises!

January 7, 2007

X'mas (2006) Gift exchange with V3

January 12, 2007

De'lites's Trip back to SP

January 13, 2007

Yutang's 21st Birthday at Parc Vista Clubhouse

January 20, 2007

YongYik's 21st Birthday Celebration

January 24, 2007

Nity's 21st Birthday Celebrations at NTU SCI

February 2, 2007

SoonKiat's 21st Birthday at MOS Imagine Room

February 18,19,20, 2007

Chinese New Year 2007

Mummy's Birthday Celebration

February 24 , 2007

Ng Family at River HongBao

March 2, 2007

Re-Connect 2007 ~ A DMC graduates' event

March 3, 2007

HuiMin's 21st Birthday Celebration

March 10, 2007

ChuBang's 21st Birthday Celebration

March 21, 2007

Lunch with Dr. Virginia McCombs

There were some occasions and celebration that my camera didn't come along with me or was too shy to snap, and photos from other cameras very seldom appear themselves, even after you chase after the owner for it.. so there it is -

(Photo Credits to: HuiMin, ChingChing, Nina, and Anais)

I think I might update my blog more often.. erm, no promises, though... ;D

Til Then Folks! Cheers! =D

Life is not a bed of roses...

2007-03-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

My first post for the new year of 2007, but it's not something that will incite the release of endorphins, because we were struck with a bad news. It really came as a shock, a bad shock admist the otherwise joyous atmosphere of birthday celebrations of the 21 year olds.

Most of us weren't aware of her dad's condition, nor did she tell us anything. For a moment, I thought my eyes and brain were playing tricks on me, I had to read that one-sentence sms thrice before I was convinced of the reality. I'm quite lost as to what I can do for our friend, the only thing that I can think of, is to be ready to be by her side anytime she needs us. I guess a tight and warm hug would give her some strength to move on too. Informing the rest of our classmates is the next only little thing we could do. I'm not good with such situations, but if crying with them or offering my shoulders help, I'll be more than willing to oblige.

It is a fact that life is unpredictable, generally. No one knows what will actually happen the next second. Things might just refuse to go the way you plan. I think I'm learning more and more to be content with life as it is. Like the teaching I've learnt from Buddhism, one should learn how to 'xi fu' (appreciate and thank every little goodness in life - my interpretation). I think it should apply to everyone as this act of acknowledging and being grateful for every little goodness one receives, is something universal and regardless of religion and whatever categorizes mankind. I'm thankful for everything I have now; my family (including relatives and my two pet tortoises), my friends, everyone playing a meaningful part in my life, everything that makes life possibly positive.

Well...this sounds cliche, but like everyone says, 'life has to go on." We just have to learn to be stronger every time a wave hits us, isn't it? But while talking about it is easy, taking actions is another.

When one pillar falls, the rest will share the weight and bear the load together. That's the way it should be working. So let it start working, now.

[ Be brave, girl! I know you will try your best to, but let us be your pillars if you feel weak, alright? Don't worry, we won't give way. You know your dad loves you deep within, no right-minded parents with feelings have no love for their children. Likewise for your brothers, whether elder or younger; the kinship you share has driven love, care, and concern to the deepest roots, so much so that it isn't communicated verbally nor non-verbally, because it is to be felt, with the heart. Although the love is unspoken, I'm sure you know about it. ]

My deepest condolences, Lipeng. Your father will be looking after you and your family from above, free from physical pains. You'll promise to be strong, will you? You know we all love you, dear! -Hugs-

December 2006 Update

2006-12-31T12:47:00.000+08:00

Before the year ends, i thought it would be nice for a little update. A major one, in fact, for the month of December 2006. Here goes...!

~{ December 3, 2006 - ChingChing's Birthday Celebration}~

The actual birthday is usually reserved for the parents or other half, so V4 celebrated Ching's birthday the day before. We were like young fashionable mums bringing a 3 year old kid down the streets cuz Cheryl's nephew insisted on tagging along. Yup, all those stares tell us all. Passer-bys must be guessing whose kid it belongs to. None of us, dumb! We're not married, yet. (Which reminds me of Rice's incident - the 'so-full-my-tummy-shows' one..hehheh...)

Nice photos, eh? I think the place (McCafe at Shaw House) has good lighting on a sunny day. Plus, all thanks to the malay guy who lent us his own lighter, the candles on our cake could finally be lit. But the look on his face told us we look like smokers. Eh, nope. Definitely not, we like our lungs healthy, thank you.

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~{ December 5, 2006 - Brother's Birthday}~

We've always like being adventurous (sometimes). And my Dad and Brother love visiting museums nowadays, so there we go, to Hua Song Museum hidden in Haw Par Villa.

Dinner at Tony Roma's...
My Ribs sampler combo was great! So was the price.. but the taste made up for the hole in Dad's pocket, so it's recommended. Oh, and the menu did say it was for the undecided, so yes, you get to try everything.. =)

Celebration back home...

It was a fun day, immersing myself with my cultural roots, indulging in good food, enjoying simple pure enjoyment. (Hey, it's a Cumulative Sentence! I'm putting what I've learnt to good use, Dr Phelps! ;D )

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~{ December 14, 2006 - Grandpa's Birthday Celebration}~

It must have been more than a decade since Uncle Ben was back to celebrate Grandpa's birthday with him. But it was more of a coincidence actually. Uncle actually rushed home from Vancouver to visit his sister, afraid it might be the last time. Sad as it is, Aunt is in her last stage of cancer. Although she's very determined to fight the cancer demon out of her life, it seems to stick on her too much, coming back every few months after it's shaken off. We do hope she eventually recovers from it too, but her doctor has asked us to be mentally prepared for the worst, much as we would still like to keep our hopes up. Oh well, being sad doesn't help, being happy might lift her spirits up, probably the minimum we could do now. Yes, so it was Grandpa's birthday, according to the Lunar calendar. As usual, the family got together on this supposedly happy occassion. Thus, it's all smiles still!

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~{ December 19, 2006 - Dinner with De'lites}~

Good food..
Good company..
Good appetite..
Good gossiping..

What more can I say? ;D

Still waiting for photos... Nineh?

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~{ December 21, 2006 - Dinner with Dr Phelps}~

Very soon, it was the last class with the Professor for our second module - Research & Writing in the Academic Community. It was like learning how to write in English all over again, but we learnt a lot more from the very entertaining Dr Terry Phelps nevertheless. You might think, we've learnt about grammar and how to use commas when we were in primary school, but have you ponder whether you're using your commas correctly? Bet we've all left it mainly to Microsoft Word for checking our grammar and spelling, isn't it? I was guilty of that too. However, having gone through Dr Phelps' classes, I'll cut fat from my writings (only in formal writing, this is free writing so it doesn't really matter =D), take note of my grammar, use of commas, language, and all that matters. Yup!

Time to say goodbye after the dinner and photo-taking session, but it isn't easy. The reluctance resulted in a two-hour stand beside the christmas tree at Ngee Ann City. Dr Phelps entertained us with impersonations of Donald Duck, Daffy Duck, and many more. This professor sure is multi-talented. Some of our classmates even recorded the impersonations on video and promised to load it on YouTube for all to admire. Like Dr Phelps said, it'll definitely cheer us up if we were to be in a bad mood. We'll surely miss you, Dr Phelps! Seeya in Oklahoma! ;D

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~{ December 23, 2006 - Christmas Dinner cum Gift Exchange with the YCSS bunch 2006}~

Dinner at Hooters for all, then karaoke for the girls, and partying for the guys thereafter

I'm gonna complain for the gift exhange! I contributed a close to 20 bucks present and got a 4 bucks present in return. What did we say? Price of present should be around $10 to $15 Singapore dollars! I'm fuming... but what can I do except strangle the guy whose present I receive. ZQ, you heard that...you cheat! Oh well.............. -_- "'

No doubt, I still enjoyed the night pretty much, though it could have been better if more people could make it. Not that it wasn't fun (ahem), it just could have been better with more firecrackers around. They did say, the more the merrier, isn't it?

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~{ December 25, 2006 - Merry Christmas!~ Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...}~

Yes, I'm getting lazy, you realise the words get lesser and lesser as the day goes by. So here's a picture decorated with snow for ya on the Christmas day...

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~{ December 29, 2006 - Party at Steph's Place! - BMCD20611A}~

Late Christmas celebration, early New Year celebration, the celebration of yet another module completed (classes, i mean).

Good games..
Good fun..
Good movies..
Good company..

Still waiting for photos too!~

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Goodbye, 2006! It's been a great year, and I certainly hope for 2007 to be even better! Cheers!!! =D

2006-11-25T23:41:00.000+08:00

~{ It's Party Time! }~

* November 12, 2006 *

Thank you soooo much, my darling V4, for waiting for the very late me for three whole hours before I finished my work, escaped from the demon's claws, and was able to throw myself into the comfort of your arms... Soooo verryyyy soooorrryyyyy, girls! Even though I only met you girls at 1am, you were nice enough to lift your spirits again and we started partying away. Swaying to the groove after cutting (and devouring) the very pleasing choco-cheese cake... Cheers, my ladies! =D

* November 14, 2006 *

Though it was just a cosy dinner among the four of us, I believe it was certainly a good (albeit short) one. Wished we could have more time barbequing those unlabelled meat, and more time for our dear Ms Loh to cook those cockles of hers. Haha... I'm hoping, real hard, that our wish for a X'mas gathering - the old school way - would eventually work out. I miss all of you guys....

* November 15, 2006 *

On this special day, it's only right to celebrate it with the one who made all these possible - Mummy dearest. Yes, another day of barbequing, no wonder the heatiness got to me. As much as I enjoyed the shabu shabu, it could have done better in the variety of food. My dad got tired of the rather limited choices after a while. Considering the price, it's not really worth it... But we had quite a good time though, after all, I'm in a good mood, never mind the slightly feverish forehead.

* November 25, 2006 *
Exam's over! It's over! Thank goodness! The only bad thing is I left the examination room feeling that all i'd written in the past hour seemed like rubbish. I'm so tempted to flip the notes for some answers, but no, i've always managed to suppress that urge, and so will I now. No, means no. Oh well... It's better to plan for the fun afterwards than crying over spilled coffee eh? Since i've escaped from the unfeeling ferocious fire - a little burnt; first degree, fortunately - there's no reason why I should not start planning how I should enjoy myself thoroughly before school starts again two and a half weeks later. Oh, there is, in fact, one very valid reason - lack of cash! Bleargh... Anyhow, feel free to ask me out for these two weeks! Who cares about the unfeeling? I'm a very happy leisurely person now!~ Wahahahahaha...

Til then folks!~ Cheers!~ =D

Selamat Hari Raya! - Oct 26, 2006

2006-11-01T04:03:00.000+08:00

~{ Selamat Hari Raya! - Oct 26, 2006 }~

Thanks to the Hari Raya festive season, we gathered at Nina's house again for some good feasting, once again thanks to Nina's Ah Ma's good culinary skills - we can never get enough of that satay! Haha... Only this time, Rine's hotseat is replaced by Farhain. Oops...

Cuz of everyone's busy schedules, it had been hard to fix a date for all of us from De'lites to meet for any of that indulgence trips we'd planned. Say, we're always planning these trips of indulgence in good food ever since our graduation, but not many were actually realized? I'm craving for all that good food now! Gee...

The word 'busy' is the culprit for the lack of meetups for all groups of friends. Everyone's either drowning in work, suffocating with schoolwork, or too tired after work to drag themselves to a gathering. I can't deny that i was drowning in school assignments in the past 3 weeks, and am gonna drown in work for the next few weeks before school commences again, but i won't reject any offers to meetup, my dear friends! Even if i haven't caught a wink the previous night, i'll crawl to your side. Hey, at least i'm present physically, even if i've drifted off to dreamland! Ha..

The good girl (yes, that's me) is done with compiling her notes for the exams three weeks later. Now, all that's left is the take-home assignments to complete before she jumps into her work the next day, and constant reading of her notes wherever and whenever, to be able to score well and account to her Dad. Oh well...

Til then folks! Cheers to success in our lives! hahaha... ;D

I'm back!!!

2006-10-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

{I'm back!!!}

Finally, the update that's long overdue...with pictures this time. And don't forget to congratulate me upon the return of Photoshop to my life. After trials and tribulations, Photoshop is back in my computer which had undergone a brainwash.

So, let's start with the days I spent in the production house from mid-August to early October.

Well, what I can say about life in the production house, can be summarised in a word - crazy! Time, effort, and perspiration, does not amount to the recognization. The only definite recognition is probably your name appearing in the credits roll at the end of the show. If you do your job well by getting the endless amount of workload done in time, it's only right cuz that's your job, but if you screw anything up, you can say goodbye to a pat on your back for a good job done. In fact, you rarely or will never get praises cuz the industry is result-oriented. Yielding good results and making things look good on screen are but the criterias. Then again, it prompted me to start thinking, am I crazy? Or do i enjoy torturing myself by being in this line in that position. The conclusion is, yes, i am indeed crazy. But on the logical side, I've always been active in the performing arts when in my schooling days, by that, i refer to my kindergarden, primary, and secondary school days. As i expanded sideways physically, the possibility of me performing onstage diminished slowly, although the passion rises upwards uncontrollably. With extra slabs on my body swaying to the beat, even i can't bear to look at myself, much less any other audiences. That's why i restrict dancing to the home or when i'm at the ktv with V3, cuz whatever slabs that're present have no need to hide from those who have long seen them. As for now, i'll stick to the backstage, working behind the camera unless needed. It's also a form of gaining experiences, and when i say experiences, i'm referring to a whole lot of experiences. That, i'm not complaining, cuz the amount that i'd absorbed in terms of learning is uncontainable.

Here're some of the very nice people i've met during the short stint there. In fact, production work can be fun if you're not given too many roles to play all at once. Being the Assistant Director, Production Coordinator, Production Assistant, and stylist all at once can be murderous, cuz you cater to the needs of the whole crew during shoot. Fortunately, these nice people can still make your day look a little brighter even if one black face brings you down. On shoots for certain programmes, some super friendly interviewees shower food and attention on the crew, and though we're all 'pai seh' when we're just doing our jobs, we gladly and thankfully accept their kindness. Heh.. The nice celebrities you work with becomes a bonus too, in a way or another. Besides the crazy working hours and little things that amount to a lot, there's still a lot of things i've yet to experience. But it won't for long, cuz i've just agreed to throw myself into the 'fire-fighting' again so i can make a better and fuller conclusion. Hahaha...

After which, school came along and I went back to the comfort of being a student. Comfort, in another sense. Being a student doesn't mean an easy life, cuz you still face stress, just not in the way it is presented at work. I believe all out there agree to this in certain ways?

My class is a small class of 17, and i do like smaller classes, cuz it's easier to know each other better and faster. Three weeks have passed quickly, we've gotten along pretty well till now. Classes have been on an intensive mode and have ended just this week. The next few weeks are left for us to complete our take-home papers and study for the examination coming end of November. I'm glad to say i've started my revision. Heh heh.. but only because i've thrown myself into the 'fire-fighting', that's why i have to start revising earlier or i can't account for bad results to my dad. School is still my priority for now, my dad will kill me if the results don't speak of my willingness to study hard.

The first module to start it off was appropriately named 'Arts & Our World'. I thought i was in for a boring class, but as it moved from paintings, sculptures, and architecture to music, dance, film, and theatre, my interest for the lesson grew. Oh, but just before we could go into the common likes of the performing arts, we embarked on a Downtown Architectural Tour on a fine Saturday morning, admiring buildings and sculptures of different art styles. I enjoyed myself taking lots of photos though.

On the last day of lecture with our professor from OCU (Oklahoma City Uni), we had to present both our solo and group projects. My collage(solo project) was based on Paleolithic art (art from the Old stone age), which could be found in this picture below. According to Dr Wheeler, it is the best of all collages based on Paleolithic art she has seen here. *Blush* There...i'm flying... As for group presentations, each group had to perform a skit. My group's skit evolved around a simple plot, and we worked more on the humour of it. By drawing lots, out roles were decided, and of all lots, i had to pick the role of the 'Grandmother'. And so, i went to my Grandmother to borrow a blouse of hers to fit my role.

We thought our professor had been very nice and amiable and a farewell dinner would be only appropriate as a way of saying thanks before we can meet in Oklahoma in two years time for the completion of our course there.

A good Nepalese dinner at an extremely reasonable price in Little India ended the day on a sweet note. Thank you and take care til then, Dr. Wheeler!

Alrighty, that's the end of my little update for the past full months. Up next, is the long-awaited meeting with my favourite ladies from De'lites. It's so hard to meet up with these busy ladies, cuz they're either drowning in their studies or suffocating from work. Gee..

Til then folks! Cheers! =D

2006-10-15T11:22:00.000+08:00

Yes yes, i know i've yet to update ever since I mentioned about getting a job i wanted in the previous post, and that i've still not updated even though the job stint had ended a week ago and i'm entering yet another phrase of my current life. I'll update soon.. Later perhaps? haha.. hopefully with photos.. =)

Finally, a job I've wanted..

2006-08-13T23:40:00.000+08:00

The long wait is finally over...

Finally, the long wait is thankfully over. I've landed myself a job in a production team with a production house apparently quite well-known in the industry. To be exact, they call it an internship and therefore there won't be a salary but we'll be given an allowance for it. Exposure to the industry is what I need and want most presently, the quite satisfying allowance is actually a bonus though it can't quite be compared to a salary.

I introduced myself as a tv-addict during a part of the interview. Very apt, eh? It sounds funny, but I do enjoy watching 'the makings' of some productions more than the production itself at times. Haha.. When I was young, I thought I had an interest in acting and even signed up for some acting classes. Sadly, the classes never started cuz there were insufficient applications to start a class, while the karaoke class had too many applications that they started two classes for it. Urgh.

The interviewer said the people there are generally fun-loving people, but some not-so-pleasant words may be thrown around sometimes when production deadlines are approaching. Well, I fully understand that, it happens everywhere(almost), isn't it? One can't take these words blurted in the heat of the moments to heart cuz you'll end up being the only one hurt. I've learnt that. Quite long ago. My previous editor calls it 'creative criticisms' - how apt.

So, it's a brand new opening for me when the sun rises for me tomorrow.

I'm hoping for it to be a good day where I'll learn the ropes while having fun. Is that too much to ask for? Hmmm..ok, i'll lower my expectations then. How about just a reasonably pleasant day where I'll start with hanging on to the rope? Sounds good enough.

Wish me good luck!

Til then folks! Cheers!

Simple yet fulfilling trip

2006-08-08T04:16:00.000+08:00

July 5, 2006 - Simple yet fulfilling trip

It's always nice to just meet up with old or new friends, even if there's no valid or important reason why you should.

For a coffee, a haircut, a dinner(whether at some restaurant or hawker centre), a movie, a concert, a musical, or even just a stroll downtown or down the park. Occassional spurs of the moments might just bring you pleasant surprises, who knows?

Sometimes, things just develop from a mere thought.

Huimin and I wanted a haircut rather badly, and for some rather funny reason, our discussion led us to Aizat to clear some of our doubts about this certain salon. A few short messages with the mobile and the three kakhis went on a mission give-me-a-new-hairstyle.

When we arrived at Bugis, the two hungry prefects(of the main gate in the past) had their stomaches growling so loudly that we had to put food in them immediately, which saw us settling in the V8 Movie Cafe.

True enough, they showed this Jackie Chan's film on several televisions at one side of the cafe. But we were too busy chatting about everything you could think of, that the flick wasn't given due attention even after the food came (I guess only the really bored diners who had boring lives and nothing to share among themselves were watching it. Oops.. no offence!). We thought only the waitress serving our table was unprofessional, perhaps due to inexperience. Then we decided it was too thoughtful of us to give her the benefit of doubt when another waitress gave quite the same unprofessional attitude. The food is pretty good though, and they come at quite reasonable prices. You might want to visit the outlet for the food and decor and forgo some attentive service. And if you're not in a rush, do ask for a feedback form!

After our very satisfying haircuts, Aizat(the night owl, so we found out) led the way from Bugis to Marina Square for a good view of the fireworks display by the Italy team. The watching of the fireworks display wasn't in our itinerary initially, but either Min or Aizat got hold of the news and some spare time and minimal distance brought us to the crowd. The display was beautiful. Fireworks displays always invoke a feeling of warmth and happiness to people of all ages. A stunning ball burst into colourful captivating sparks at about 2110 hours and marked the first of a 5 minutes or so of fireworks display. The crowd went 'Wah!' in unison while some babies started crying and looking for their mummies. The exclamations of excitement lasted throughout the display, but sort of died down in the middle part, probably caused by thirst. I took in the warmth and happiness of the event suitable for almost all ages in silence and captured the sight with my camera with a smile on the face. I'd even managed a shot of Huimin & Aizat enjoying the sight (even though their expressions in the photo didn't really show).

I always wonder what goes through others' mind when they're presented with such situations. Do flashes of their families, or friends, or significant others, or unfortunate others go through their minds as the events goes through their sight? Or do people just go blank in the mind and enjoy such sights? I'm one who tends to work my mind a little to hard by thinking a lot. Even as I'm watching some really interesting show, my mind could be thinking about other stuff at the same time. Gee..

I love the silence of the night - The tranquility and peace of it when all hectic schedules come to a halt for relaxation is priceless... which also explains the time of this entry. Haha..

Well, til then folks! Cheers! ;)

{Update: August 3, 2006 -- Of adventures(& misadventures) }

2006-08-03T16:18:00.000+08:00

{Update: August 3, 2006}

*~ Of adventures(& misadventures) ~*

Story 1: Discoveries - August 1, 2006

It was a day of adventures and misadventures that turned out rather fruitful and enriching.

I had to settle some stuff at my to-be-Unicampus in the morning, after which I decided to pack some food up to my grandma's place for lunch and nap till evening, then meet up with my cousin. The plan brought me across the bridge from my campus and onto the path we used to walk down so frequently almost a decade ago. Though the school building had been replaced by high-rise apartment blocks, the vivid mental imagery seemed to have brought me back to the good old days. The field where we'd played countless times of soccer, boys and girls running across the fields for games of catching, and screamings from the girls when we were unable to snatch the soccer ball from the boys. Every Kodak moment seemed to hit right into me with the gentle breezes. We had left our footprints in almost every corner of the field from morning PE runs, soccer games, catching, and whatever took us there. It wasn't a tad hard to recall the scenes of pure childhood bliss.

Remember we tried climbing over this gate not only once, but twice or even thrice around Primary four cuz we were almost late for school and the other way to school would only make us late, Sis? For once, some boys from our class even stopped their usual morning soccer game to cheer us on, but it only made matters worse. Being the monkey ching, you climbed over without a hitch quickly and gestured for me to start climbing over before we got really late, and it didn't help at all that I had a crush on one of them and they were cheering us on for an embarassing act. Just what was I thinking? Fortunately I didn't end up like Humpty Dumpty!

Oh, and the other side of the gate used to be this deserted school building formerly housing the students of Queenstown secondary when their school building underwent construction. Remember the days where our guts got the better of us and we explored the deserted school? And who can forget the sudden creaking of a rusty door that sent us on a record-breaking fly back into the safety of our compound?

The concrete path is now buried under layers and layers of wild grass. It will come to a day where people would forget that such a path even existed.

And remember the ground level house selling the best Ice Lollies Aizat introduced us? Remember the path we used to walk home together everyday? Remember block 24 to block 28 where our 'block catching' and 'area catching' took place every now and then?

Our favourite desert and Hokkien Mee & Char Kway Teow stalls. The thumb never goes downwards for the quality and affordability of the food from these stalls. If I'm not wrong, I even treated the girls (our 'seven sisters') to desert on one of my birthdays cuz you lovely girls gave me such endearing presents. ;) Thankfully most of you gave a thought for my wallet and ordered the cheaper choices.

I'm never deprived of topics to chat with my Grandmother. Even with my not-so-fluent-Teochew, I can blabber on and on about everything from updates of my friends they know of, to what I'm up to, to what the other relatives are up to. Speaking of which, there's sort of a saga that's brewing over slow fire before exploding one not-very-fine day. Well, what can we say? It won't help anyway. Since the leads of the saga are unaware of the situation for now, the rest of us in the know will just stay away from troubled waters and wish for the best. Phew!

Then Grandpa showed me this very adorable photo of me and my cousin, JinCai, after I gobbled down my sinfully delicious Hokkien Mee. Heehee..

For unknown reasons, I didn't exactly like smiling for the camera when I was younger, though my mum trained me to get accustommed to getting into cheesy poses when I got older (and I think I actually grew to enjoy it). I loved acting cool, well.. ok, I still do - just in a different manner.

A full stomach and a welcoming sea-blue bed brought me into Dreamland effortlessly. Before my beautiful dream could get to the finale, the melody from my mobile aroused the drooling big bear from her sweet dreams as the alarm dutifully went off at 5pm.

Then, the misadventures started when a just-awoken bear met up with a blur sotong. I thought I was quite good with directions and recognising of routes, but when you meet someone like my cousin, don't be surprised when you turn into some unfamiliar route unknowingly and walk on to a totally different place.

But it was a fruitful misadventure. We discovered many different, special, and some exciting places I could bring the rest to the next time we decide to have any gatherings or meals. There was a Japanese Dining Place we came across that I knew our dear Clarice would love coming to. The red and black painted wooden decor looks exactly like a replica of one of those japanese dining huts you see very frequently in modern japanese dramas.

When we finally gave up looking for the damned mall and headed back to where we came from by taking turns to ask for directions, we came across the map at the MRT station which made us felt all the more dumb. So much for walking all over and around where we wanted to go, walked every way, crossed every bridge in vain. Hahaha..Luckily my court shoes were seasoned and marinated to the point of saturation so my feet escaped unscathed from blisters. Wahahaha..can't help but laugh at our own silliness. Silly me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Story 2: Treasure Hunt - July 29, 2006

Nina, Clarice and I decided to go for a treaure hunt together at Chinatown to get 'Cheena-fied', like Nina suggested. In fact, I'm already a certified 'Cheena-town treasure hunter' since I'd found treasures at low costs since the start of the year and you can quite safely say I'm a regular there. Besides good rates for various cosmetic and skincare ranges, the variey of handicraft and accessories there is unbeatable! And what I loved of that place is the spirit of 'digging for treasure'. When you find something there you've always wanted after much effort, the phrase 'sweet fruits of labour' can't be more apt. The ladies went home as happy as they could get with a truck full of things they couldn't believe were priced that low when simple things like these could retail for 10 times the profit.

It wouldn't be right if we'd missed savouring authentically good traditional desserts. Being good kids, all three of us filial children even packed home packets of desserts to ferry all the way back to the West. Wahahaha..

~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love exploring new places, especially interesting ones like these. Be it an adventure or misadventure, it's exhilirating when you go exploring without an itinerary. Hmmm... where shall we venture next?

Hahaha..

Til then folks! Cheers to this drama-addict who has gotten herself more active outdoors! Wahahaha.. ;)

Awoken

2006-07-24T17:56:00.000+08:00

Awoken

Sunlight shone into the room through the half-opened window, before I could differentiate the dream from reality, tears started bursting from the barely opened eyes. The sudden urge to let it all out, the ache from the gripping of the heart, the crumbling of the body, the fear of it happening, it all felt so familiar. Painfully familiar. The striking similarity of this nightmare to another I've had some years ago left the barely-clear mind blank. I was at a sudden lost, and I allowed the tears to flow the way they wanted to. The emotions were strong, so strong it surprised myself. What could have triggered this dream? This dream that reflects something I've feared the most. Here, I'm not talking about the hideous creature I've a phobia of, but of an event happening that would bring about enormous waves of grieve.

Afraid the loudness of my crying and sniffs would get to my Mum's room and awake her from her dreams, I buried my face into my turquoise satin pillow and held my bolster close, gripping my trusty sixteen year-old pillow in the other hand. The images of the dream which I categorise as the worst nightmare remained vivid in my mind and refused to disperse. I dreaded going through the happenings in the nightmare again, but I had to pull myself back to reality after crying for a good twenty minutes or so. I've never told anyone of these dreams, not even written it down or try to recall the happenings in the dream. It's just too emotionally draining. Overwhelming fear of it actually happening is enough to suffocate and send me into the dumps.

My gaze remained locked on the skies outside the window, and the glare of the sun suddenly brings me back to my senses. The brains begun functioning normally again and my grip of the pillow and bolster loosened. Slowly, I climbed out of bed and wiped the face wet with tears. "No, it didn't really happen. It was but a dream, a nightmare, in fact" I told myself silently as the eyes red and swollen from the cry earlier on stared back at me in the mirror. All of a sudden, I realised how silly I was. But the outburst was good, cuz it made me feel lighter - mentally. It's like the click of the refresh button on your computer screen. The act disposes of old information and refreshes it with new ones, ones you felt you could carry with to face a new day.

As I washed up and refreshed myself physically, the Dream Dictionary I saw on the Internet some time ago came to my mind.

I searched for the two words that best described the dream and here's what I found:

Interpretations courtesy of DreamMoods.com

In a way, what it interpreted made sense. I've been wanting for a change in a certain aspect of my life and procrastination stands in the way. Like the Dream dictionary mentioned, I've suppressed it when I was conscious, hurled and tucked at the back of my mind, but when I wasn't, I can't help but hate and reprimand myself for letting things drag. I realised the dream served as an awakening call, a call for actions and not just thoughts. I hate myself when I escape from situations I should face up to. Nevertheless, the door of the escape route left ajar is so temptingly inviting, it pulls you through it before you could think twice about distinguishing the fire ahead.

An ex-colleague once said a Scorpion knows what he/she wants strongly and would do all he/she can to achieve or attain it. Yes, it's time to make things happen. Staying static is not at all like a scorpio. Winter's long over and habination is no longer a valid excuse. With an armour for protection and pincers to attack, the scorpio is almost ready enough to take the first steps.

Wish it good luck ya!

Til then folks! Cheers, to a continuously brighter tomorrow!

~{Update - June 29, 2006}~

2006-06-29T20:42:00.000+08:00

~{Update - June 29, 2006}~

~Grandma's Birthday Celebration - June 9, 2006~

Like an annual affair, we return to this stall for Grandma's birthday year after year. The people remain the same externally, but deep down everyone's changing. Grandma likes to keep her birthday celebrations an simple affair. Mum suggested several restaurants that're within the affordable range, but grandma insisted it wasnn't necessary to spend that much money for just a celebration. Thrifty traditional woman - that's my grandma. I can't recall exactly when did grandma started taking care of me 'full-time'. For as long as I can remember, I stayed at grandma's house all throughout the weekdays and only return home with mum and dad on weekends, which is also why I was enrolled into Tanglin Primary and got myself a bunch of childhood friends I'm proud to have. Shall stop here..I can practically see Mamanim floating...haha..*private joke ;)

_____________________________________

~Visit to the Asian Civilization Museum - June 20, 2006~

People go, "What? You went to the museum?" when they hear me talking about my outing with my family to the Asian Civilization Museum. Indeed, we immersed in the cultural tour in the tastefully done-up museum and enjoyed ourselves. I've never thought of museum as boring places. In fact, museums are really interesting places where you never know how much you can learn from it from a trip there. Here of course, I'm talking about heritage museums we're able to relate to the displays better. Aside from the main displays, the 'Mobile Homes of the normadic tribes' display is also worth a peek. Channel NewsAsia (CNA) was filming on location, probably an introduction of the exhibition. I was really tempted to go ahead and ask them if they needed an intenr or assistant..haha.. We'd wanted to visit the Chinatown Heritage Museum on the same day as well, but time didn't allow. If you're at a loss as to where to go for an outing, a date or simply a weekend getaway, do consider basking in an enriching experience at the museums! (Sounds like an ad huh? haha..)

Some poses with the founder of the Lion City - the statue, of course.

The stroll past the Victoria Concert Hall brought back sweet memories. Just a couple of years back, I stood at the steps leading to the entrance along with my seniors in Choir, waiting for our turn to shine on stage. We've practised and rehearsed for months for this day. It isn't my first time taking part in a SYF competition, but every time proves a different experience. We couldn't help but put down the costumes of the other school choirs, probably to boost our own confidence. Don in purple silk blouses and long flowing black skirts for the girls and similar silk shirts matched with black trousers, we were ready for the stage. Afterall, we'd put in much effort for this, and our principal was pinning her hopes on us. With prior experience performing in school numerous times, confidence grew within and we could hardly contain our excitement.

"Remember, always SMILE. Just enjoy yourselves on stage, alright! You guys look great!" Our instructor whispered as we hid behind the curtains, waiting as the school choir in front of us neared the end of their second song. Man, the all-boys choir was really good. (We later heard that they got gold!) Row by row, we positioned ourselves on the carpeted steps in the middle of the brightly lit stage. The judges looked tired out cuz it had been a long day for them and we were one of the last few groups - not exactly a good sign.

"Ready?"

We gave a nod in response and took a deep breathe as the first few familiar notes of our first song filled the entire hall. Fortunately, the performance went on without a hitch and it felt absolutely great that it's over. Outside the hall, we were assured that we could managed at least a Silver award, if not Gold. For hours after our performance, our seniors and us couldn't stop talking about it. 'Anxious' was the best word to describe our feelings then. It isn't exaggerating when people say you could hear your heart beating - we experienced just that when one of the seniors received an SMS from our instructor. The suspense that the senior kept us in was unbearable, so unbearable that we could strangle her for hiding her phone. Finally, she loosened, "We got Silver!"

It was rather satisfying, although we'd hoped really hard for a gold. What made us grip our fists, was the news that there was a tie-breaker between our school choir and another boys-school choir initially, and the final decision saw the Gold award escaping from our grasp. So near, yet so far - how apt. Urgh.. Oh well.. silver's pretty good too, at least it's better than a Bronze. The same went for my SYF chinese dance competition back in primary school, it was another tie and the votes were in favour of the other school. But in this case we could understand, cuz we had a minor slip. A pity we weren't given a chance to compete when we hopped over to the Drama club in Primary six after our Chinese Dance club dispersed before our graduation.

Those were the days where I roamed the stages frequently and seeked excitement in competitions like that. Gee, I sort of miss the stage..

_____________________________________

~ Date with the cousins - June 21, 2006 ~

During the kids' recent one-month school holidays, my cousin, Diana, and I brought my brother and our two cousins out for a movie. Diana and I were even afraid we would look like two mothers bringing their kids out, and toned down our dressings to look younger with the boys. I haven't treated anyone to a movie - can't afford to :) - but it seemed only right that Diana and I, the two oldest ones there, to foot the bill. 'Cars', another Disney Pixar production with a rather ordinary plot that carries a message, wrapped with enchanting animation packed with lots of humour. Not too bad a catch for a good laugh. Too bad the two-hour movie left us with only barely an hour for a quick chat over a quick dinner. We always feel like we never grow up when we're playing with these boys..Haha..

_____________________________________

~ Friday night dinner with De'lites - June 21, 2006 ~

Week after week, our schedules just don't seem to meet. But just before Clarice's presents started rotting under the sun, these busy ladies finally set a date for dinner and realised it. Win kindly picked us all up with her velocity red zoom despite a day at work, and off we went on an adventure on the Singapore roads. Five ladies, one car - the only thing missing was a street directory. We shall map out our routes the next time we plan on a road trip again, ya? Gee..

Our stomachs protested throughout the journey, except for Nits, who took 10 mouthfuls of rice from mummy before she left her house. 40 sticks of satay, a huge plate of Fried Rice, medium plate of sambal stingray, and a small lemon chicken. The table was filled with dishes in no time. Three petite ladies, one slim slim Nits, and a big me - wiped out whatever we could, apart from the disappointing satay that strayed too far from 'tender'. Oh yes, and I did mention I can't wait for the ban on smoking in most hawker centres and coffee shops to take effect from the first of July 2006, did I? Man, I just can't wait. Cheers to cleaner and fresher air! Yeah!

A stroll to the car from Lau Pa Sat was what we needed after a full meal. It's been a long time since we'd last filled our cameras with our pretty faces, say, a month? Haha.. And someone(was it Win?) said something we all couldn't agree more. The pictures lacked something. We missed Carine...and her formidable Lumix. ;)

Clarice's one-way 'gift-exchange' was extremely sweet. All of us received glass bottles with messages and very meaningful little treats. Like the Power Rangers, we all had custom-made wristbands hand-sewn by our very own Rice. Thank you so much, Rice!

I'm looking forward to our long-awaited Graduation! We shall end our poly life with a bang, like we always do! ;)

_____________________________________

Til then folks! Cheers!

* ~ End of Update ~ *

2006-06-18T11:56:00.000+08:00

As I familiarize myself further with Tzu Chi Foundation and its scale and mission, my viewpoint of many issues took a substantially drastic turn. Tzu Chi's missions focuses on giving material aid and inspiring love and humanity in both the givers and receivers.
The Buddhist teachings Tzu Chi adhere to have invoked numerous millions from all around the world to be part of their compassionate relief efforts.

"A resolution must be expressed with actions, not just words."
- Dharma Master Cheng Yen.

Indeed, Dharma Master Cheng Yen founded the non-profit organisation in 1966 with a handful of core members in Taiwan, to help the people living in the east coast of the country struck by poverty and plagued with illnesses. This ordinary petite woman with an extraordinary goal believes in 'making the impossible possible'. She passed on the spirit of putting Buddhist teachings into action, which her teacher had advocated when he was alive physically. Master Cheng Yen firmly believes that suffering in this world is caused by material deprivation and spiritual poverty. She felt that "lack of love for others" has been the root of many problems in this world. "To save the world, we must begin by transforming human hearts."

With her wholeheartedness and sincerity, together with the help of many other voluntary followers touched by her determination and selfless contributions, the group gradually grew as more people who shared the same faith and direction joined the organisation.
Today, Tzu Chi Foundation has 10 million voluntary members worldwide, with branches in 31 countries, distributing their love for mankind and providing compassion relief in diverse areas - charity, medicine, education, environmental protection, as well as the promotion of humanistic values and community volunteerism. The humanitarian work is both a means to help those in need, and a way to open the volunteers to the harsher side of life, whereby they may find spiritual happiness and life's true meaning through giving.

Tzu Chi also set up a hospital, a university, and Da Ai TV – a not-for-profit satellite broadcasting TV & radio station to allow the transmitting of news of compassion relief globally – running of the broadcast center is self-funded through the recycling of paper materials by voluntary members daily. Every cent donated goes to help the needy, regardless of nationality, race, language, nor religion. Master Cheng Yen believes in self-sufficiency and provides herself and her disciples with only what they themselves reap. They sew their own robes from simple Grey cloth and work in the fields for their own vegetables while their handmade candles goes to supporting their daily expenses.

Like their spokesperson said, it is now time for the outside world to have a different view of Buddhism. Buddhism is not only about meditating in the caves and cultivating in the mountains, away from the rest of the world. Instead, it is also about putting into practice what is being preached, and reaching out to everyone in need in all parts of the world, relieving all mundane beings with compassion driven by love.

< Information and quotes obtained from Tzu Chi Foundation – About Us >

Here are just some of the very meaningful quotes by Master Cheng Yen that I personally feel are applicable to everyone:

< All quotes available here

** For more information on the organisation, feel absolutely free to visit the Tzu Chi Foundation Global Website here

Til Then Folks! Cheers to a more compassionate world filled with love! ;)

Update:Fiona Ng - June 8, 2006

2006-06-08T01:47:00.000+08:00

~~~ Latest Update:Fiona Ng - June 8, 2006 ~~~

<< May 20, 2006 -- June 5, 2006 >>

5566 Concert 2005 DVD Autograph session at IMM - May 20, 2006

Believe me or not, HuiJuan and I didn't pre-order the concert DVDs, nor did we go early to queue for our turns to go onstage for their autographs, neither did we specially dress nor equipped ourselves for the event. Surprise, surprise huh?

In actual fact, we were plain broke. So broke that we couldn't bear to fork out S$20 for it to see our lovely people onstage. Haha.. But we got a good look at them neverthelesss. We stood afar, away from the queue packed like rows of sausages in a can, sheltered from the almighty rays from the sun with our umbrellas and SPF-packed moisturisers applied earlier on. When the event came to an end, we strolled to the very first barrier and conveniently got a very good view of the four celebrities from the second row. What made me feel like killing myself was the very fact that I forgot to bring my camera! I actually forgot to bring my new camera! Slap me please - Urgghhhh!

I'd no choice but to compromise with picture quality and snapped a few shots of my favourite group of people - 5566 - with my humble mobile phone camera.

Thereafter, did some catching up with HuiJuan cuz we seem to meet only during gatherings (mostly birthday celebrations whereby we don't get much chances to talk) and when 5566 holds events in Singapore. Otherwise, we send occassional messages to each other if something interesting or dramatic or simply something worth mentioning happens.

At about evening time, it was time to bid HuiJuan goodbye til the next meeting and 'Hi' to De'Lites and Gavin at the Esplanade.

Nina's Birthday Celebration - May 20, 2006

By the time I reached the Esplanade from Jurong East, the ladies (and a guy) were craving for dinner and were already comfortably seated at this '2 Hot Halal Cafe'. It was great meeting the ladies and Gavin. Now, when was the previous time we met? Haha.. As usual, our table produced the most noise. Who says only empty vessels make the most noise? Stab the person who came up with that. Muahaha... The menu wasn't exactly extensive, and the food not exceptionally palatable, but I'm glad the great company made up for it all. When I finally stuffed my turkey ham sandwich down, it was time to cut the birthday girl's cake. Photo-taking has become a habit among us, we get so used to cameras pointing at us that we're sort of trained to be like celebrities where they have to get accustomed to people taking pictures of them all the time.

And a sweet celebration for a sweet person. A Pink Book plus accessories to go with for the pink Nina. Not forgetting presents for the other two girls present who've had their birthdays - bracelets for both the working execuetives, and a customised steering wheel cover for the lady with the velocity red zoom. And how can I forget lovely Minnie Mouse marshmallows from HK Disneyland and addictive Wife Biscuits from Nina - Thanks Girl! A pity I didn't have any materials suitable to churn an accessory or two fit for a guy like Gavin - hey, I offered you my hairband! Ahahaha..

Photos on this very special day courtesy of the birthday girl - Nina

What can be a better day than to spend time with so many people you like? ;) Cheers!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your spirits get lifted naturally when you do something meaningful - June 4, 2006

Nothing else could get me tucked in bed and snoring away at 12am and dragging myself out of bed at 645am before daybreak. But when it comes to something meaningful, you just have to do it. Volunteer work with this charity organisation - Tsu Chi Foundation - saw two late-night owls practising what's commonly known as "rise-and-shine". For once in a long time, I was actually punctual! (Some applauses please, Thank You!) As Diana, my cousin who brought me in, was assigned to the performance team, I tagged along and pulled through performing in front of the elderly with just a few practices - if you consider my half-a-beat-slower actions passable.

Since we were already there and the event ended early, with the other volunteers sending the elderly back to Silra Home, we decided to check out the Orchid Garden. Oh, and boy were we surprised the Botanical Gardens has turned into a $5 per entry tourist attraction - with the exception of free entry for students during the school holidays. The place was truly packed with tourists. It was rather fun trying to guess which tourist was from which country through their accents, languages, and dressing. We didn't feel the whole place was worth their time and the entry fees since there're definitely many more places worth visiting in Singapore. (Oops!) But I gotta admit some of the flowers, especially the orchids, were really pretty. And its a good place for Singaporeans to chill and relax in the tranquility of the environment. Afterall, you don't see swans paddling towards you in any other parks in Singapore, do you?

Something meaningful in somewhere delightful - Perfect Sunday Morning Getaway!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daddy's Birthday Celebration cum Visit to Singapore Science Centre - June 5, 2006

My Brother had been dying to see the Dinosaur fossils exhibit at the Singapore Science Centre, so my Dad took half a day off from work to fulfil my brother's wish as well as to celebrate my Dad's birthday.

It has been a super long time since I'd stepped in there. I can't remember how long it has been exactly. Say, it must have been at least 4 years? Never mind. The trip there brought back fond memories, and rekindled the kid in me. Like my ten year-old brother, I ran around playing with everything playable despite being in skirt and heels. Sue, currently owned by one of the musuems in the states that's worth US$8.4 million, is the star focus of the displays, with 90% of its fossils found and pieced together. Towering over all human kinds, it is indeed somewhat scary to stare at it for long.

For dinner-time, Mum reserved a table for 4 at the Gardens Hotel for the Asian Delights Buffet. The food was considerably delectable, but Dad and I would prefer more varieties of dishes. With 100% filled tummies, the Ng family drove home for the cake-cutting ceremony.

Happy 53rd Birthday, Daddy!

Great day with my dearest family, and a simple yet heart-warming celebration, with a few hugs thrown in - what more can I ask for?

- End of Update -

~~~~~~~~

Til Then Folks!

Cheers! ;)

'Bball Gang' Gathering - 30 April 2006

2006-05-15T05:38:00.000+08:00

"Bball Gang" Gathering - 30 April 2006

Cheryl's Birthday Celebration - April 12, 2006

2006-04-28T08:04:00.000+08:00

Celebration of Cheryl's Birthday (April 11) on April 12, 2006

Cheryl's belated birthday celebrations went on rather smoothly, not forgetting the very rewarding bag of goodies flown in from the land of smiles, courtesy of our dear 'Mamanim'. Due to budget constraints and lack of replenishment of useful colourful paper in our wallets, Ramen Ten became a good choice as a place for the celebration.

After the usual photoshoot with the machines' built-in camera every meet-up, we made good use of the studio-like background in the photo-sticker machine booths. Talk about stretching your every dollar.

Wahaha.. After what seemed like more than an hour of our very own customised 'fashion shoot', here's the results:

And a peek at the makings and NG shots...

*Yawn* Look at the time, my clock reports 8:05am now. But no, its not the start of the day, but time for me to sleep. In case you think I'm somewhere in the States where the time's almost a whole round of difference, nah... I'm still stuck here in this sunny (& rainy) island. Watching lots of television programs as usual(Man, i'm doing lots of research to prepare myself for broadcast huh? Wahaha..)

Other than watching television programs (mainly dramas though - Korean & HongKong, that is..), reading some of my favourite author's books, and scanning through the papers before I lost contact with the print media's trend, eating (a little too much), testing my computer's limit by having it running for more than 12 hours a day continuously, criticising certain commercials - both print & broadcast - of their very low standards (probably due to the very low production cost-no excuse, man!), while drooling at the mass of foreign artistes as the pictures, information, and videos-on-demand are but 'a click away'.

If all goes well, school'll start in mid-may. Although some say no news might be good news, I'm starting to get worried at the delay and pestering whoever I can for some progress. Wish me luck!

Last of all, Happy Belated Birthday Cheryl Mummy! You'd been a great mum, really! One thing for sure, you call my name more often than my mum does, cuz she loves calling me an 'idiot' when I do the same. Wahaha.. what a joke. No one will believe this, huh? My family loves calling each other names - bad names. Gee..

Waves hit the shores every now and then
When your name gets washed away by the gushes of water,
it's not time to cry,
but time to write your name bold and clear all over again.
Only this time, with more might and courage.

"A Ja, A Ja, Fighting!"

Til then folks! ;)

Cheers!~

Tanglin Primary(1998) Gathering 2006

2006-04-04T16:53:00.000+08:00

Tanglin Primary(1998) Gathering 2006 - April 1, 2006

Cheers to its success! The turnout was better than expected, I was prepared to be able to count the number of people with my ten fingers, but it was a pleasant surprise though. KayXiong even rushed down earlier than us even upon notice at the very last minute. Muahaha..

The six of us, earlier birds(I mean, earlier, not early. Yes, you get the point.) stood in a circle as we waited for some of the rest to arrive. But one of us thought we were too attention-grabbing standing in the middle of the always crowded Orchard MRT control station. So we dispersed to gather food and settled in Burger King at Far East Plaza(indoors, of course), with Shihlin's XXL Chicken Chop and Chirpy's Triple C set meal, complete with drinks from the fast food outlet.

The table gradually grew from a six-seater to a nine-seater as more joined in. Names that were cancelled out on the list 'miraculously' appeared again - welcome aboard once more! Aizat then started pouring the names of Tanglin Primary Class 6A (1998) classmates. The crowd then exclaimed, "He's not only a memory card, he's a hard disk!" This malay guy could even remember our Chinese names besides the English names, even some of us Chinese were ashamed that we'd forgotten some's surnames & Chinese names. Ask yourself now, can you do that? It's 8 freaking years since we'd graduated from primary school!

In just a while, the list of all 34 students of Pri 6A (1998) was completed. Impressive, Aizat! Some reminiscing went on till our stomachs hurt from excessive laughing. Playstation at KayXiong's place, block catching as well as area catching, desert savouring at Shirlene's parents stall - can't miss my favourite ice kachang, trekking along the railway and across to the English houses in search of 'ghosts', and vandalising the playground with whoever-was-here-on-whatever-date and whoever-likes-whoever...etc. Man, those were really the craziest days, young & innocent kids, out just to have all the fun they can take in.

How I wish I could go back in time through the time tunnel with my camera and capture all those classic moments. How I regret not buying the class photos cuz I thought that $4 I had to pay wasn't worth it - dumb me. Oh well, never mind, the memories are etched in my mind and will be till the day my memory fails me. Fond memories, with love.

The entourage then proceeded to the domestic helpers' favourite Sunday hangout - Lucky Plaza - for some archade-cum-pool.

Delinquents? muahahaha..

Generally, arcade for the girls & Aizat - Classic Car Racing with Daytona and the old-school must-play Flintstone memory game. And pool for the rest of the guys. (Erm..yea..limited activities.) Suggestions anyone?

When the remaining attendees arrived, we raced towards Sanur Indonesian Restaurant at Centrepoint to make it for our reservation for 10 at 7pm (cuz I was being kind to myself and started becoming pessimistic, thus the reservation for 10 for dinner). Thankfully, all that pessimistic bubbles were burst when the crowd came in, our table for 10 was barely spacious for the group of 14 and we had to squeeze a little to make way for the added chairs since the service staff said it was impossible for them to add more tables.

Hungry tigers waiting for their dinner at Sanur Indonesian Restaurant

The dinner went well as small chats went on here and there. We started chatting to those seated around us after the hungry tigers gobbled up their food. I barely touched the plate of Sambal KangKong before it was wiped out - urgh! that's my favourite dish! Ok ok, i admit that's only one of my favourites out of all the dishes ordered. As usual, when you ask everyone what would they like to order, the reply would be, "Anything". Yes, I get the message. So the organising committee took on the job of choosing and ordering our favourite dishes which we thought the rest would like too, along with the help of our malay friend during the ordering.

When the stomachs were finally filled, it was time for some drinks and catching up at The Balcony.

The Balcony

Nope, we didn't get ourselves drunk. Time was better spent with lots of catching up and jokes. I'll not go into details about the topics discussed, it'll never end. The talks went on till a good twelve midnight as our dear Catherine waved everyone goodbye with a "Seeya next year!" attached at the end. Hmmm.. we'll seriously consider that, on one condition - a guaranteed good turnout. In fact, a trip back to Tanglin Halt would be excellent - going down memory lane as we experience the things and activities we all once enjoyed together - simply great huh? Well, we'll see..

It's not easy being the organising committee. We're only glad complaints aren't thrown at us from the very kind attendees, thanks for appreciating our effort. We don't get money from organising these gatherings, you know.

With that, i propose a toast to the very spontaneous participating attendees of the Tanglin Primary (1998) Gathering 2006.

Attendees:
Cheryl, HsuehChing, HuiMin, ChingChing, Alex, Brian, Catherine, JawShyong, PohLeng, Aizat, Richard, Shirlene, KayXiong, HongBoon, Soon Kiat

CHEERS!~

P.S: I had wanted to update my blog more frequently, but due to the photos which proved really hard to shoo in, I leave thoughts and activities hanging in the air. However, the problem is most likely solved with my new precious-moment-capturing companion! Wahaha.. It's still good to depend on yourself, cuz like the nation's belief - No one owes you a living. Yes, although its inevitable to have to rely on others at times, planting your own seeds is always a good idea.

Til Then Folks!~

You know it when it has become a thing of "The Past"

2006-03-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

You know it when it has become a thing of "The Past"

"You value our friendship?"

My foot.

I don't even bother to doubt whatever excuse was given. It's obvious - the difference between a reason and an excuse.

Painstakingly organised - well, maybe a little exaggerated, but the time, effort, and tons of sms sent are for real. Why waste our sms? When your efforts aren't appreciated, it sucks.

"Sorry, i don't think i'll be going."

You're sorry? Like seriously? More like just a word you use without much thought. You can go fly your kite for all you want.

It's irritating enough that all of you have thrown away what we considered " a friendship" in the past. Or maybe, i wasn't even a friend to you, all of us are but classmates.

Go and die. Yes, right now.

My Dad once asked me when we started organising the inaugural Tanglin Primary 6A'1998 Gathering, "How long do you think this gathering thing would last?"

"Hmmm.. i think as long as possible. Quite optimistic about it."

Yes, i just slapped myself. Real hard. It hurts, badly. You won't know how swollen the wound is.

I told myself time and again, not to bother with those who don't deserve. We stopped inviting those who'd rejected the invitation throughout the years. Why continue persisting since they insist on not coming? I told myself, not to give a damn to those who give excuses. I told myself I'm silly to get upset. I told myself they're simply not worth it. I told myself countless time. But I just cant help it. We're angry, year by year, it never fails to occur. No matter how hard I try to extinguish the fire within, the flame never dies.

Dishearted. That's the word.

The flame is dying. For real this time. When it proves pointless to carry on. It's time to give up.

Perhaps we'll completely give up organising after this round.

I won't be taken aback if this happens one day, in the near future.

"Friends no more?"

"Sure, we weren't friends in the first place anyway."

"Great. So it ends here. I won't wish you luck for your future endeavours. Just remember, don't don a red garment when you run out of it. Bye, forever."

Once lost, they can no longer be retrieved.

But I'm still glad there'll be coloured ones to replace these. Whether 5 or 6 attendees, you know I appreciate your attendence. With love.

Til Then..

HuiMin's Advanced Birthday Celebration at Table 108 - March 4, 2006

2006-03-08T02:42:00.000+08:00

HuiMin's Advanced Birthday Celebration at Table 108 - March 4, 2006

Great food at the dinner table, with the duck dipped in various sauces and the Phat Thai winning favour. Colourful drinks ended the meal on a sweet(and bitter) note as the glasses emptied sip after sip. Only Ching couldn't finish her Long Island tea and complaint about getting all hot - literally. Lots of photo-taking, as usual. Wahaha..

Once again, Happy 20th Birthday Mamanim!

CHEERS!~ ;)

Til Then Folks!~

Fly me to the moon

2006-03-07T05:11:00.001+08:00

Fly me to the moon

Everyone's either overseas enjoying the greener grass over on the other side or counting down to the day of departure. And here I am, stuck in the sunny (and rainy) island, polluting the Jurong canal as i drool with envy. Nah, I don't have to fly to the moon, there's no shopping there (kidding), somewhere else is enough.

No time. That's why i'm stuck here.
No companion. That's why i'm stuck here.
No money. That's why i'm stuck here. (Actually i could do something about this.. If only...)
No mutual desire to travel overseas. That's why i'm stuck here.

I'm desperate enough to want to go travelling alone. I guess it would be a whole new experience travelling alone, although it'll be rather boring after some time. Excited enough, i flipped through the pages of the thin blue book. I blinked at the figures with the greatest anticipation, but all the book did, was to stare blankly at me - literally.

Any sponsors? Thailand would be great. Ok, ok, Genting is good enough too. Fine, that's my limit - KL. Sure...I don't mind the resort at Malacca too. Yes, yes, a cruise would be great, erm, maybe a little better ones, at least a night or two on board? Urgh!!!! This is frustrating.. I want my holidays overseas please?!?!?

*Stamp feet on the wooden floor as the chubby fingers push away the tears*

When it comes to a point where it seems pointless, it's time to give up and look ahead.

Oh well, i'm sure Sentosa's not too bad too.

Sentosa anyone?

Til then folks!

I have only Japanese green tea to toast. Cheers, to whatever makes you happy!

Officially...

2006-03-04T03:36:00.000+08:00

March 3, 2006 - The date marks the official end of our internship. I thought leaving the place would be hard, but i guess the high turnover rate in the media made leaving much simpler and people are so used to it that they don't really feel for it anymore (or so it seems). I still miss the pantry, probably the most well-equipped pantry with a stove, conventional oven, microwave oven, toaster, two coffee-makers - of which the kind & friendly auntie makes coffee with every morning for the office-goers, a refridgerator always packed with food & drinks, and a rather wide variety of instant drinks up for selection. I'd started packing more than a week before the last day of work, but it seems i'd left too many things at the office over time that even a little a day still left me lugging a bag full of belongings home. In case anyone's wondering, nope, they didn't offer to extend my stay as they already have plans to employ a full-time feature writer with experience. Don't ask me about my final grade. I can only say I'm not satisfied, for a simple reason - humans are never satisfied. (Ya, right!)

It's officially the start of a span of happy holidays for me. It might end shortly after, it all depends. If the local university in jurong town doesn't get back to me (they most probably won't), i'm more or less set on distant learning to get my degree from the Oklahoma City University through a not-for-profit(self-proclaimed) private institution. All it takes is two years to get a recognised degree. It's pretty disappointing that while local polytechnics are striving to change the perception of polytechnics as an 'alternative' route into a 'choice' route, the local universities are still considerably conversative in accepting diploma holders unless they soar high in grades. On the other hand, foreign universities recognise local polytechnic diplomas and treat them with due respect on a higher level - a level which diploma holders deserve. While failure of such respect is eminently missing in the local education scene, efforts are made to rectify the public perception, albeit slow in progress. As the saying goes, "Even if all doors are closed, there'll be a window left open for you." As long as you perserve, somehow the road ahead will open up for you when the time is ripe. Walk ahead, and the beam of light ahead will bring you to your destination.

I'm heading where i've always wanted to go. Glad that i'm pursuing something i've held onto since god knows when.

Happy holidays ahead.. and my calender is packed with fun-filled activities to date. Love the luxury of being able to lie in bed til a good 2pm without much worries. I've set an aim for myself to finish reading three detective stories within the allowed time frame for borrowing. We'll see if i'm disciplined enough to do just that. Meanwhile, some preparations undergoing for insights into my seemingly ideal future job. We'll see, too.

Money has been escaping from the pitiful account without turning back. I'll have to curb my desire to splurge to stop my wallet from bleeding profusely. But that'll mean a holiday with no life. No no no, not gonna let that happen. I told myself it's time to stop procrastinating. Yes, stop procrastinating HsuehChing! STOP, you idiot! Sometimes you just have to resort to scolding yourself to stop that crazy mind up there that does not function exactly the way you want it to.

Tanglin Primary School Gathering 2006 is finally undergoing the planning stage. I'm glad the initial response has been so-far-so-good. But we're all prepared for the worst, aren't we, my darling V3? Muahahah... If the time comes, i'll just sing along the lines of "Let it be..Let it be..Let it be..Let it be.."

Til then folks! Take gooooood care!

Cheers!~ ;)

2006-02-25T17:12:00.000+08:00

Time creeps pass..

Update: Fiona Ng
Photos: Fiona Ng & Co.

It's been more than a month since the previous update. Being busy with internship is but an excuse to not update cuz no matter how hectic internship is, there's a line between personal time and work time. Gee..

A lot had happened, but i'm glad to say the recent events have not only been pleasant, but better and greater than expected most of the time. So much so that i'm afraid of any preceding storms hiding behind the facade of the beautiful scenery. Or perhaps, i'm juz letting my mind wander a little too far off, i always do.

Enough of typing.. i've been facing the Mac OS 9.2 at work and typing away without much inspiration the whole day. When the clock struck 6pm, it felt as if it was only lunch time. Gee..

I'll now hand over the time to the photos.. Enjoy!~

Lunar New Year 2006

De'Lites - SB Achievers' Function cum Farewell Assembly 2006

Photo Opportunity with the guy whom i'd admire during the primary school days - Thomas Ong

Mum's birthday 2006 - A simple affair..

More to come...

Oh yes, and the March issue of Eat! magazine I've been contributing to, is out in stores NOW! Grab a copy at only $2.50 today! Available at all 7-11, major bookstores and magazine stalls! Hurry! While Stocks lasts! wahaha.. Thanks!

Enjoy life people.. one more week to mark the end of our polytechnic lives, to wave our Diplomas and some to looking forward to replacing with a Degree. Life is good, and will only be better.

Til then folks..

Cheers! ;)

2006-01-18T00:44:00.000+08:00

The Double "Yu" Birthday Celebration
~ January 13, 2006 ~

The celebration saw new faces as well as the usual old ones like mine. Several common ones couldn't make it, like Hj who was caught was with deadlines, so am I, but i made it anyway.

So we chosed Lao BeiJing restaurant, or rather, the birthday girl picked this place out of the 13 restaurants list i provided. Moveover, my fellow colleague recommended the place, and when she says it's good, i suppose it must be good.

Good decor for the mood. Somehow the place reminded me of the days where the 30 (or so) of us went to Beijing for a cultural immersion tour. The trip was great, but i believed it would be even better for me if i've made my presence felt more immensely. I think i have this big problem, of hiding away in a corner cuz that's where I'm most comfortable without my facade. It takes truly sincere individuals to convince that pair of hands of mine to remove the layers gradually. Corners and people I know i'm truly comfortable and feel secure with are my comfort zones, but to be able to survive in the 'treacherous' world and to enjoy life better, pulling myself out of the corner is something that requires immediate actions. Perhaps i just feel inferior due to the larger surface area i occupy, constantly concerned about others' view of me too much for my own good.

Work-wise, it's been great and real fun. People envy my job, to eat and write. Sure, it's enjoyable, and definitely it feels great to taste good food -- free. On the other hand, i might be given chances to try out other areas as well.

Anyway, it's time to plan my life ahead as time ticks pass every second. Graduation draws close, in fact, a little too close. Though i'm dying to graduate, i'm thrown into what seems like a confusion as well. Haven't been able to put my thoughts into appropriate words. I admit i'm bad at expressing myself, am pretty sure people around me know that. I'm constantly at a lost for words. Perhaps those communication classes aren't that redundant afterall. I desperately need more confidence. Praise me more please? Or is anyone selling confidence at a reasonable price? Call me at 1800-confidence-wanted. Gee...

Time to read more books-- constructive books.

Been thinking a lot about life lately, so much that i'm beginning to lose touch with the world. Unfortunately, those thoughts about life has failed to make me love shopping less. All those dramas portraying characters dealing with the unpredictables and uncontrollables instil new values of life in me. When scenes of the dramas happen in life, it seems so unreal. I try deluding myself it's not real, but i have to face it. It is real, afterall. Life, it's extremely fragile. It's not by choice, when destiny decides to play a trick on your life, you won't even get a chance to say 'Goodbye'. You can choose what to do in your life journey, but you can't direct exactly how it'll turn out. It'll be good to tkae things as it is and cherish whatever's given. I can't read people's thoughts, but i try to be sensitive to these feelings. Sometimes i wonder if it's necessary to do so since similar treatments are not returned as frequently as they are given out. Oh well...why bother about thinking that much in fact? Like the Chinese saying goes, the boat will naturally adjust itself to proper state when it reaches the harbour. So we'll just let it be for now...

I believe all good souls will eventually rise to heaven for peace and bliss. It'll be regardless of religion, race, nationality, and everything else that divides human beings.

By the way, my main motive here, is to publish these photos taken during the Double "Yu" birthdays Celebration but I guess i digressed a tad too much.. Gee..

Here goes..

Photos courtesy of Yutang's camera..

That's all folks, for now..

Cheers to a brighter day ahead! ;)

CHing Belated Birthday Celebration cum V4 Christmas Gift Exchange - 30 Dec 2005

2006-01-16T01:31:00.000+08:00

ChingChing Belated Birthday Celebration cum V4 Christmas Gift Exchange - 30 Dec 2005

When V4 gets together, it's just hours and hours of fun, joy, and laughter, topped with some craziness.

As comfortable as we are with each other, the adventurous side of us brings us to new places people of the norm doesn't go to. Separately, we might just show a hint of madness. But when combined, it's a huge bunch of uncontrollable madness. We do rather crazy things. It didn't matter that a few foreigners at the same place enjoying their night swim took occassional glances at us. Somehow, i felt they laughed at our 'foolishness'. However, if we don't do crazy things, it's not V4.

Thinking of ourselves as models for Min's camera, we posed, posed, posed, and posed for it til time silently went by...

Happy Birthday Sis!

Til Then Folks!~ Cheers!~ ;)

2006-01-05T22:35:00.000+08:00

*Photos Updated below!*

My Humble Sony presents...

DMC/3B/05 Christmas Party 2005 - 24 Dec 2005

Christmas Night after Volunteer work-25 Dec 2005

At Diana's house..

Sec Sch Classmates-4E2/1/3- Christmas Steamboat cum Gift Exchange-29 Dec 2005
The Photogenic...Muahaha..

The camera shy people has to block their faces..

And the natural "camera-unshy" people treats the camera as non-existant (or they just didn't realise someone was snapping away at them...

Individuals...

Here goes...
All photos courtesy of my humble camera that had loyally served me to its best throughout its three years with me. Looking for an upgrade to capture all precious moments in life with higher resolution. Looking at my individual financial status and monthly allowance from eating and writing, it's rather impossible if there isn't financial support from who else but my parents. While waiting for photos from other cameras that might only appear in my mail most probably a century later,if not a millennium, enjoy what's presently available. Oh yes, and if you happen to want photos from my humbe camera, do give me a mail so I know who wants what cuz no one needs photos from my humble camera presently, i guess.

I forgot to place money in my wallet today, but i thought i wouldn't die from hunger when I'm working for a magazine all about food. The pantry wouldn't be short of milo, horlicks, all kinds of drinks, biscuits, bread, or just some good chocolates would do. I didn't worry about not being able to have lunch at all, weirdly.

Just as I was thinking of what to have from the pantry in the afternoon and if i would be lucky enough to go for a food-tasting for lunch, my sub-editor came over to ask if I would be busy in the afternoon cuz there'll be a food-tasting during lunch. I had no idea where the food-tasting would be initially but it didn't matter, as long as there's free food for the penniless me.

The place was gorgeous, and the genuinely cordial PR person's friendliness made the meal even better with honest comments that are "off the record", not bad comments though, just some facts of the industry. Glamourous it might seem, to be in the media or work with the media, but you never know what's going on until you're part of it. Many PR personnels talk about the realities of the job, and they'll turn back to say, "Not trying to scare you, but that's pretty much a fact..." Gee.. I'm not too scared, have prepared myself with anti-shock vaccination, but I won't be too surprised when shocks get to me either, it comes in the package.

(Enough of reality bites...Back to the beautiful world..)

The ambience of the restaurant was great, just the place you would like to go for some interesting food that doesn't come cheap along with good service. The suites of the place are elegantly done up by some in-born talents as well. The way they did up the whole place, is just the way i want my ideal house to be like -- victorian elegance.

The schedule for the next issue is up and we gotta start working on it. Doing research for the articles isn't easy cuz they aren't materials you would find easily on the internet. This is where human relationships like friendship, kinship, and all kinds of good relationships come in. At the rate I'm collecting namecards presently, it won't be too far a goal to fill up the namecard book Mum lovingly gave me for Christmas. Therefore, don't delete any contats you have now, you never know when you'll need their help someday. Maintaining good relationships, even if it's just on the surface, wouldn't hurt (not too much at least). Though this is what i feel at the moment, it's subject to changes without notice. Haha..

I'm waiting for the day when "Update: Fiona Ng" appears islandwide in a month's time. Do get a copy for a read, your mum will love the recipes too! I've learnt a lot throughout the 4 weeks with them. Despite being unable to put what I've learnt exactly into words, I've undoubtedly absorbed a lot. Apart from absorbing too much food and pushing the possibilities of growing vertically even higher than mentally, that is.

I'm getting so used to the lack of right-click with iMac at work that I'm using too many shortcuts in typing for my own good. Grateful for my own proactiveness to carry an abandoned but in pretty good working condition iMac OS 9.2 to my desk to replace the antique iMac OS 8.6 that is ready for the computer graveyard, i pasted a note for the antique whose sentence is long overdue. On the note, it reads "Certified-Brain-dead. January 5, 2006. 10:21am" Thank you for over-working for my sake darling antique, it's time for your retirement once all my files are transfer. Meanwhile, the iMac OS 9.2 has been serving me well at work. Not a great leap, but having an improvement is an improvement itself isn't it? Important players get the G5, while smaller shrimps get iMac(s) that works in most aspects, fair enough i think. I'm not complaining, cuz the costly food that comes along now and then makes up perfectly, perhaps even more. So be prepared to see a vertically wider me and don't reveal your disgust too obviously, i might just burst. Gee.. I've decorated my desk in the office to add more colours to a 9.5 hour day, in fact, a little too colourful. It's filled with photos of people i like, the way i like my life to be - surrounded by people and things i like, perfect! will get a shot of my desk when possible. Haha..

Here's a long-awaited update of the days that were spent after 22 December 2005 since the previous update last year. Last year, indeed. Happy New Year folks! Even if it's into the fifth day of a new year, i suppose it still isn't too late for a greeting. I certainly hope a new year signifies a brand new and even better year. I need a full-body massage pretty badly. Sadly, time and money doesn't allow for that luxury.

You might start to think I'm leading a sad life from the tone I've been using for all the paragraphs above, but that's definitely not the case. In fact, i realise how fortunate i exactly am after some comparison. There's this very cliche Chinese saying implying one's ignorance of their own fortune. Fortune in this case refers to the bliss showered on the person. Pure bliss doesn't come easy. But the simpliest and easiest things in life are perhaps the purest forms of bliss, which many are unaware of.

Now, what i'm writing is getting pretty boring huh? I think so too..Thus, up next would be photos of happy faces who appreciate the happiness and love around them. No matter how hard the going gets, these happy faces will remain as they are, if not better.

That's all for now folks! Cheers!~

2005-12-22T00:14:00.001+08:00

Two food-tastings in a day, two filling and satisfying one. In total, i've eaten about a hundred sing dollars worth of good food just today alone. One in a seafood restaurant serving fresh huge delectable fishies, while the other, western food in an award-winning place of interest with an exotic dining experience.

My eyes are barely open with cough syrup evident in my blood. Been piercing through the silence of MRT carraiges and the office with coughs, hopefully no germs, but that's hard. All the coughs are driving me crazy, it actually feels bad to cough when you're there tasting others' food. I got a feeling it doesn't seem nice though they had been very nice about it. Three more articles to go, and I'll be free til the next schedule comes in for the next issue.

Took tons of photo of the food that easily adds up to a hundred moolahs but in case of copyright issues, they shall be kept for personal and private purposes. Can't do free advertising either, I suppose it'll not be beneficial.

Oh yes, even though my eyes are half-opened now, I have to declare this. I will be spending a very meaningful Christmas out there celebrating with the elderlys at a old folks home to liven up their otherwise routine lifes. I'm glad I'm finally taking a step closer to what I've always thought i should do. Being able to bring joy to others with a simple act that means so much, i am proud of myself.

I'm a good girl..haha..

*Eyes closiing...Can tahan no longer..*

Another food-tastng tomorrow at a place I'm extremely familiar with, practically grew up there. Fun awaits!

I'm glad to see everyone enjoying their interships, at least most whom i remain contacts with. Oh yes, speaking of contacts, I've collected several, and when they seem to expect me to return with a namecard of mine, i could only apologised and say i'm only an intern and thus no cards. Thinking of doing personalised low-budget ones myself..Rather feasible actually..Gee.. Alright, eyes are almost fully shut now...

Til Then Folks! Cheers!

2005-12-21T02:00:00.000+08:00

Like an island...

Like Pulau Ubin, I'm like an island on my own, where i get occassional visitors offering me delicacies that's too good to be rejected, simple concerns that means more than simple, and an iMac that dates back to '98 which still strives to work hard despite what's left of its counterparts' are only spares parts wanted by the some rag-and-bone men.

I'm not complaining, cuz I sort of enjoy myself and have learnt to self-entertain in that little corner of mine. Even though the table would be considered mine only for a short three months span, I'm slowing feeding it with things that would eventually make it look like mine. I enjoy customising my stuff, I'm sure you people know that, with all the rhinestones on my mobile and wallet.

When I submitted my first ever article that I've probably read through a million times before submitting, I can't help but hesitate to put it on the editor's table. I'm not sure if it's good enough to be published, but I've put in much effort for the information and referred to probably tons of sources to fill up two pages for bibliography. Even if it eventually does not turn out like what I wrote, I'll still be glad and thankful for the opportunity to write and be responsible for several sections. It feels great to be placed in charge of several write-ups, but responsibility follows and that doesn't allow for any negligence.

Gonna be going around for food-tasting tomorrow. Two feasts in a day, one lunch, the other dinner. Maybe i should be thick-skinned and ask if I can "Da Bao" another set home or back to office. Nah, kidding. My skin's pretty thin, literally. A seafood grill and a restaurant burger meal in a day. See what i mean by "I can forget about slimming during internship here..Haha"? No, no, i'm not complaining at all, no, i'm not. In fact, I see this as a good opportunity and eye-opening experience. We used to write press releases for our assignments in class, now, i'm the one reading others' press releases, presenting praises to the deserving professional and meticulous ones.

I'm constantly learning, even if I'm just flipping through the other publications for reference. Every minute, I'm learning something, things that might or might not in a way change my values and viewpoint. Quoting 'Mei Ren Yu', i agree with her totally that you get to learn something from everybody everytime, from the office cleaniness 'auntie' who deserves a 'thank you' everytime she clears your dustbin, to someone whom you've only seen on a magazine cover. It doesn't matter how beneficial the knowledge is to you, cuz at the end of the day, you learn something new.

I'm looking forward to the Christmas parties and gatherings. Even though i'm not a Christian or Catholic, I celebrate this joyous festival that allows for a great chance for people to come together. Four Christmas gift exchanges, excluding personal gifts, and the wallet is burnt. Even my 'Chinese New Year clothes fund" failed to escape being touched. All my gifts have been thought through and bears meanings.

Oh yes, and did i mentioned 5566's 5566 One World, One Dream Singapore Concert 2005 was GREAT? It was! Photos of them in action should be up in due time, i think. Suffering from 5566-withdrawal symptoms and over-loading my mp4 with their songs, flooding my mind with their images and voices with their songs in my mp4 and programmes on cable television. Haha..

Currently engrossed in National Geographic Magzines that were destined for the recycling bin if I didn't save it in time. Interesting Magazine!

And if you recognise her, yes, she has an endearing nickname in the drama which points to a legendary fairy tale being with an upper body like a human, and the lower a fish.

Til then folks! Cheers! ;)

2005-12-17T16:13:00.000+08:00

So far, So good...

It's been a week since our internships started, and I'm loving every minute of it. So far, it's has been good, hopefully i will tell you i'm loving what i'm doing more and more when the weeks go by.

Frankly, when i initially received information that i'm gonna be posted there, i was wishing for the chance to go around tasting good free food with the writers and editors and be able to go around interviwing personalities. I thought it was a thing too good to be true cuz i would be photocopying, typing, and doing all the what's not.

NO!I was wrong! Gladly wrong! It's one of the rare times when i'm glad that i'm wrong. I wasn't prepared for the interview and photoshoot on Thursday cuz i wasn't sure if i could follow. Not only did they bring me along, our writer also asked me to interview the personality together with her! I'm not sure if i can reveal who it is now cuz I'm not really sure if i can cuz these stuff might be confidential til the next issue reveals it, but those who i've sent the SMS should know who she is. You can see who it is from my messenger avatar anyway..

The personality was all sweet, nice, friendly, and approachable. She even asked me if i was a soft-spoken person when i introduced myself like a mouse. Actually i was about to cough with phlegm stuck at the throat so i spoke sofeter than a mouse. But i was frank that i usually need time to warm up to people, which is an obstacle i have to remove in order for my career path to be smoother. Haha.. The interview went on smooth, and i actually felt like we were chatting when i kept reminding myself that however lively the conversation is, i don't need to say too much about myself cuz the readers wouldn't be interested in my words cuz they'll definitely be interested in hers. So during the interview when it was being recorded for future reference, apart from laughing, nodding, and questioning, I didn't talk too much. Remember we had a CA on interviewing personalities? It's like the real thing down, and it was way cool...

The stylists were talking about iPods and LV covers for their iPods like we're talking about buying batteries for our remote controls. Being part of the crew, the VIP seats right smack in the front are also always reserved for them. Makes me wonder when will i be able to get media passes and free VIP tickets to concerts. Ok, i'm backing from dreaming...let's move on..

Our writer was experience at mingling with the PR personnels, stylists, manager, and everyone. I feel as though i'm speaking to my cousin when i'm talking to her, and it's quite good. I should open up myself and be more "hard-spoken"(yes, i know there isn't such a word) and approachable so it'll be better for my survival in the future.

Besides interviewing celebrities(actually only one to date, but editor told me i can look forward to more. Muahaha..), the exciting part is i get to write too(man, i'm really nervous cuz that'll be considered when grading comes), and how could i forget the good freebies, good food from food-tasting, and the friendly and professional colleagues.

Good, great, and will be better. Looking forward to seeing it in print. Exciting!

More updates and photos when i get home from 5566's concert later! WoOhOo!!~~

Til Then Folks! A toast to whatever's ahead of us, and looking really forward to the Christmas Parties and Gatherings! Cheers! ;)

The Last

2005-12-11T17:40:00.000+08:00

9 December 2005

From DMC/FT/1A/05...

to DMC/FT/3B/05.

It marked the last day of school in school of my polytechnic education.

I kept mentioning about the last emotional post i would post on the last day of school in the previous posts. Now it's really the last day.

I thought the last day wouldn't come that fast. I thought it was still a few months away, a few weeks away, or even a few days away. But i came too fast, and it ended the same way. It felt weird, the kind of feeling I didn't feel when I graduated from Primary and Secondary School.

Perhaps in the previous graduations, i could confidently assure myself that it will not be a problem to meet up with the rest frequently, the assurance that we will meet often no matter what. I'm greatly comforted that my confident assurances to myself and the rest is still intact, at least to 90% at the moment. Perhaps the weird feeling i sense now is due to the uncertainty. I wish for all of us to come together, even just over fills of Starbucks or Teh-Bings, as often as we wish too. I hope for our friendship to stay as strong, if not better, even 5 or 10 years down the road. I wish for everyone to remain in contact and i hope for at the very least, annual gatherings. But I'm not that sure now.

The last day was pretty emotional. I could actually feel it throughout the last week. It all seemed too fast. Day by day, we were busy with the final 2 assignments, busy cherishing our time together, busy planning, busy taking in all visuals and scenes around us.

The taxis refuse to come just when you urgently need it. I waited for 10 freaking minutes before i managed to grab a cab to rush to school in hand in the final assignments. I finally reached SP School of Business. It felt weird as i set foot on the grounds for school for the last time where i've spent my 2.5 years of tertiary education. The lecturers weren't in their rooms, so i slipped my report and portfolio somewhere under the rest and headed to Foodcourt 6. As usual, my dear De'Lites sat at the table for 6, brainstorming what we promised to present to our client in less than 2 hours. It was rather nerve-wrecking knowing we had such limited time, and my constant 'time-checks' to the ladies didn't help in unwrecking their nerves. It became like a class project when the guys came to the Digital Media Studio to help us out here and there. Copies of the hand-drawn logos were scanned and pasted, our Creative Director trying her best to improvise the visual using the wonderful skills she used for our Comm Project.

It was back to the classroom where the rest of the class had started the pizza feast. As we marched into the classroom and several turned to greet us, i knew deep inside i won't be seeing the same 15 faces in the same setting again from the next week. I was prepared, all of us put aside our eyeliners and mascaras, but the atmosphere was weird. As De'Lites presented our 'trophy' to sweetest Ms Nga, it still didn't dawn on me and most of us were still pretty calm. Ms Kwa took forever to come up to our classroom, and we all know why. Clutching my orange cup that contained my note with her favourite MingDao photo in it, the rest of De'Lites likewise, we were prepared to present Ms Kwa's 'trophy' to her, but she had to make us emotional. I had never teared in front my my friends, at least in my recent years, and there went my first drop of tear for the phase. I've never seen Nity and Clarice cry, Carine and Winoa kept theirs in with a look out of the window, and I'm sure Nina was glad she left her eyeliner out of the regime.

We spent the rest of the day writing notes for the rest of the lecturer for helping and believing in us for their individual 'trophies', taking photos with the lecturers and classmates, and basking in what seemed like the last few hours together in the classroom.

After several hugs, we proceeded to hand out trophies to the rest of the lecturers. Each note contained our thoughts and thanks to each of them who played a part in giving us a hand or two for our success in the Community Project 2005. Mr. Ang's reply to our note was quite surprising to few of us. Thanks to all lecturers to helped and believed in us. You don't know how much we appreciate it.

I thought i would regret taking this route on the first day of the orientation at East Coast park 2.5 years ago.

Now i leave this school, these lecturers, these classmates, with a sense of gratitude. For making my polytechnic life memorable, in a special way.

And yes De'lites, we ended it with a BANG!

The last few weeks of school was especially sweet.

The fruits of success are addictive.

The paths we've walked will remain.

The days we've spend will be etched in my mind like always.

Life had been good. It is still good, and will always be for each and everyone of us.

Cheers to success in our respective internship companies! ;)

De'Lites Agency

2005-12-03T19:14:00.000+08:00

De'Lites Agency Rocks!!!

We Kicked Ass!

WooHoo!!~~

Thank you for all the best wishes and support! Thank you! Aaaahhhhh!

I'm grateful for everything...Thank You!

I love you ladies! We rock, don't we?

3 Prizes
Overall 1st Prize
Best Communication Strategy
Best Individual Presenter - Clarice

Although all of us hoped to win, i was pretty shock when we won. Moments of hard work, sacrificed time with family, money into creatives, and minor debates doing the project flashed across my mind suddenly. Tears almost fell, but we didn't allow cuz we can't look ugly with all mascaras and eyeliners flowing down. We gladly received our prizes, receive congratulations gratefully, congratulate others, and enjoyed the rest of the day.

After the lecture hall emptied, our adrenaline level dipped drastically. Happiness remained, but we were all too tired from the preparation for this important day. A dinner at Swensens at Suntec City saw each of us gobbling our food to erase our famished states. The next table was extremely noisy, irritating the whole restaurant. On normal days, our table would be the noisest, with our loud people here.(oops..)

Here's a big toast to all of you! CHEERS!~

Our effort, time, and money were all worth it.

More photos will come in, i think.

Til Then Folks!! Allow me to bask in happiness for as long as possible!

2005-11-25T12:04:00.000+08:00

I must have drawn circles with the brush tool in Photoshop for a hundred times. Up til now, i don't think it looks very similar to the original one our creative director re-created. Now i see blue circles even when I close my eyes. Maybe i shouldn't complain since our creative director is seeing more colours and four-angled stuff. I don't look forward to drawing more circles, even if i might really have to...Bleargh..

At the beginning of this new semester, I mentioned this was the last six weeks in this stage of education in my life. In just a mere flash, we've come to the 4th week of this final semester. In no time, we'll all pack up and leave for our internship companies respectively. It seems that most of the people are packed to companies in town, while mine's far away in Genting Lane. I'm not complaining about the 1.5 hour journey. I'm not complaining about the cost of travel. I'm not complaining about the lack of communication. I'm not complaining about the pay. No, I'm not complaining. Just some rambling at most. I'm fortunate enough. Yes, I am.

It's been 11 days since i last blogged, cuz i've planned my entries. The next one following the 'Hari Raya' post would be of one to thank everyone who remember and/or celebrated my birthday for me 10 days ago, that's November 15, 2005. I was waiting for the visuals to arrive so i could post a full entry with 'visual aids', but they never arrived. I waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited (yes, that's exactly how many days i've waited..), but no one sent me the files. Since the higher resolution cameras have taken over my 3.2 mega pixels humble Sony camera, I've been cutting down on its exposure to the world, relying on the newer cameras. But it seems it's still best to bring my humble one out cuz i can get the pictures as soon as i get home. It seems weird now that i'm the one waiting for others to send the photos to me since i was the one sending the photos to others just some time ago.

Alright, my old humble Sony, i will continue to bring you out, more often this time, even though you're almost 3 times heavier and bulkier than the newer ones. You won't die on me, will you? I don't expect 'no' for an answer. Fortunately i brought you on the day HJ & Yutang & Gals, and a guy, celebrated mine at Swensens on Nov 16, 2005, cuz the higher resolution one failed to work or we won't have any visuals to capture the moments that day. I'm also more than glad that you managed to capture my favourite idols for me when they were in Singapore several days ago, so i could convert them into smaller files and place them in my mp4, conveniently able to see more than just still pictures whenever i miss them. I still love you, my humble Sony 3.2 mega pixel digital camera! ;D

Thanks for everything people!
Thanks for remembering in the first place! Whether your wishes came in at 12am or 11:59pm, it all mattered to me. All messages are still well in my phone. ;)
Thanks for celebrating this special day of mine for me!

Thanks so much to V3, HuiJuan & Gals(you know who you are), De'Lites (we're delightful people with delightful power, armed with delightful projects!Ok, maybe the projects part wasn't exactly that delightful. It'll be next wednesday!)
Thanks for the presents! Whether it was $10 or $100, it all mattered to me. Everything is kept carefully so 10 years down the road, i'll still recall who gave me the item and reminisce about the past.

We look intimidating? Well, i hope we truly are and not just 'look'. Everything is finally falling into place with everyone putting in their efforts. Our presenters are also fill to the brim with stress and information overload. One walked straight into a drain and another continuously doing crazy stuff, with MayDay as her encouragement and support. We're also thankful for the lecturers' flexibility to make several things easier on us.

My hair is weighing me down, or perhaps, it's just the tasks left hanging that's weighing me down. Karaoke, shopping, movies? Sorry girls, all out for me till slightly before mid-december. As much as i wish to go, i can't.

Getting sleepy. Lack of quality sleep. So much so that i'm looking uglier. Wait or have i been ugly? Ok, i don't need an answer unless it's absolutely positive, thank you.

I'm actually almost always prepared for the negative side to things, but i tend to discard the negative feelings and create positive ones instead. I don't like to be negative about stuff, whether daily life or expectations. I don't like negative shows, so when a show starts to get negative and i know that the ending isn't going to be a happy one, i'll stop watching it. Simple as that. I like to make myself happy. Why fret? Assignments not done at the eleventh hour? Don't get an anxiety attack yet, you still have the twelveth hour. Totally down when everything seems bleak or going against your wishes? Don't sink into depression yet, everything's not hopeless yet.

Oh yes, i forgot to mention that my mood swing is gone. I no longer wake up feeling horrible in the mind, nor do i tear that easily or depressed. Like i've said in the previous mock interview when i was less ridiculously nervous, through the years, i've realised not everything goes my way or as i planned, and with that, I've learnt to take things in my stride and not make megative comments when i've yet to make an effort. And when i do make an extra effort, i don't give up that easily unless it proves pointless to continue persevering.

In 5 days time, we'll be freed of the community project that we've put so much time, effort, and most importantly, money, on.
In 13 days times, we'll be freed of all projects, presentation, assignments, and CAs.
In 17 days time, I'll set foot on the building on Genting Lane with the editorial team, i hope. So will the rest of the cohort at the respective companies.
In 98 days time, we'll graduate with a Media and Communication Diploma that will hopefully get me somewhere.

I've mixed feelings about graduating. Actually, the day comes in 2 weeks time, the friday before everyone separates for their internships. Separation occurs once again.
I've learnt a lot these years in polytechnic. I have to say i've never regretted taking this path cuz i know for sure i would regret if i went the other route.

Once again, we'll leave the emotional stuff for that day. For now, we'll enjoy each others' company and bask in joy everyday, minus the CAs.

Til then folks, tomorrow is another long day. Cheers to whatever makes us all happy! ;D

Hari Raya Visiting..

2005-11-14T23:56:00.000+08:00

Hari Raya House-visitings...

Nina and Nity were kind enough to invite the De'Lites to their homes for yummilicious Hari Raya goodies and the sumptuous meals their grandparents and parents prepared. Not to forget the two girls helping out in the makings of the food, which they don't normally do.

Nina even shelled the prawns for us! And Nity fried the french beans and peeled the quail eggs! Rare? Gee..

On both days, we indulged in lots of good food, exciting gossips, and enjoyable photo-taking sessions. I love these kind of gatherings, we enjoy each other's company(I think..haha..)and all we have is fun while filling our stomachs.

We're already in the 3rd week of our last semester in this polytechnic. Another 3 more hectic weeks, and we'll all pack off to our respective internship companies. Some offices may be situated near enough for some to gather and have lunches together, sharing the latest news about this and that, while some others are away in far-away lands.

I'll miss the lunches we have everyday. I'll miss the never-ending talks and gossips. I'll miss the accompaniment. I'll miss the screaming, the fun, the fighting spirit, the good and bad times we shared, the emotional and psychological support, and everything that's etched up there in my brains.

This is like super cliche, but I just gotta say it. I really really hope we would remain in touch even in the future, like 5 or 10 years down the road. Alright, maybe we'll look at the nearer future, at least a few years? Surely it's worth more than that? I have no idea how much I'm cherished, if any in the first place, like the way I cherish others, all i'm aware of is that disappointment won't follow if there isn't any anticipation of returns.

Looking back, I realised I've changed, for the better, I hope. The experiences and exposures have taught me to always view things from a different point of view as things might not seem like what it is on the surface. Meeting different people from everywhere also enriched me in a way that I am more able to adapt to different people and try to understand other kinds of psychic.

I gotta say heaven has been kind to me by giving me classmates whom i can 'click' with. It might not be the whole class, but there'll always be some i can(or forcefully) call, 'My Clique". From V4 and "Seven Sisters" in primary school, HuiJuan and girls in secondary school, to De'Lites in the polytechnic. Whether I've left vague or deeply imprinted footsteps in your lifes, or even just a toeprint, you have left a print in my heart too. Whether we share more than a decade of friendship, whether we spend almost everyday together, whether we've spend just 10 minutes or less talking to each other in the whole time we know each other, or a simple two second "Hi-and-Bye" relationship, it is undeniable that in my book of life journey, somewhere, somehow, there is your print. I don't know if you'll rub off my imprints, but I won't rub yours off, because it records what happened at certain points in my life.

My computer failed me last night. Being entrusted with a task, it was an extremely bad time to fail. When i reached home from the discussion last night feeling pretty fulfilled that some work had been done, the computer decided to take a break and refused to restart. Taking for granted that the computer will always work for me in its life-time, I expected it to serve me well. I expected breaks from it at times, but not at this time. Mum then handed me the dinner she brought home from Granny's place, some dishes with my favourite soup, enough to make me glad. What's additional was a greeting card from Gu Ma(Aunt in Cantonese), as well as two Ang Baos from Gu Ma and Granny. As i opened the card, tears began to form in my eyes, ready to fall anytime. Seeing that the coast was clear from anyone else in the household, the droplets fell freely from the eyes to the chin, leaving a trail behind it. It was a card that contained a few simple yet meaningful words. Just the thought that they remembered this day was enough, the cards and Ang Baos were additional.

Gu Ma has always doted on me since I was a baby, even my name was given by her. Til now, i love my original name. I prefer people addressing me as HsuehChing, cuz i love the name my loving Gu Ma gave me. It means more than a name to me. Even if the word "Hsueh"-Snow in Mandarin, isn't a good word for names in FengShui, I don't care. 'Fiona' is just a name picked for convenience, nothing much more than that it seems. Images of her walking at the mall, carefully picking a greeting card just for me - her niece that had stucked to her from young who tends to keep her feelings to herself.

--------------------------------------
To: 吳雪晴
Happy Birthday and be a good girl ok?
From: 姑妈
--------------------------------------

V3 celebrated the day for me in advance today. Thank you so much for bothering and taking the trouble to celebrate this day with me for more than a decade without fail. I've never told you girls this, but I love all of you too. Having braved storms and facing hiccups together, it doesn't matter if we don't spend everyday together, you're always in my mind. The world isn't all rosy out there, but I know for sure that I can always fall back, and you'll catch me no matter how heavy I am. I insist. ;D

Ching-Sis, thanks for your willingness to spend time sewing the letters on needle by needle just for me, even if it had two letters missing. I appreciate it with my whole heart and will definitely cherish it more than gold. The days we meet in a year can probably be counted with my 10 fingers, but the friendship won't change. I hope the feeling is mutual. ;) Cher Mum, thanks for always listening to my complains and even ramblings, taking care of the little details and the willingness to do me favours and not expecting the returns. But don't be stubborn and do take care of yourself alright? Don't make us worry for you k? ;) Min Ah Ma, my best shopping, splurging, business, 'ah long', and scheming buddy. Together, we've planned numerous stuff, whether they're simply hilarious or some plan to protect some things we value. The things we've done together, the miles we've wallked, the paths we've treaded, the words we've spoken, the thoughts we've exchanged, everything is recorded and wouldn't be erased. Thanks for always bringing the smile back on when things seem bleak. ;)

You might not know the little things you've done that has touched and impacted me in certain ways, but do remember I Love You Gals always. Yes, I know it's mushy, but I don't say it often..So keep it in your safe deposit box k?

Well well, this entry wasn't meant to be what it ended up as right from the start, so i'll end this here for now...I'll leave these stuff for sometime later..Gee..

Til then folks..Cheers to good times and better times!~ ;)

The Weird Down

2005-11-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

The Weird Down

Coincidentally or not, I've been thinking of the quote "There won't be disappointment if there's no expectation" too.

HuiJuan said things are looking good for me now after what seemed like gloomy days.

The date to mark my descend on earth is nearing, I used to get all excited about it just years ago. Perhaps what the adults said is true, as you get older, birthdays don't mean the whole world to you anymore cuz it's just another day where thousand other babies are borned. Partial excitement still lingers, but i dare not hope for more cuz i don't wana be left hanging.

Some of my best friends are making plans for me, with Cher ensuring me that i would love my present to bits if they manage to find it. HJ is also making the extra effort to invite the girls to the celebration and doing all the planning and stuff just for me. Mum is pretty excited about where we would dine on the day, my dad just gotten me an MP4 that i had long wanted as the present. The publishing giant just accepted me as an intern with them for 12 weeks, realising this hope of mine, with 'thank you(s)' here and there. I appreciate everything right down in my heart even if i don't express my thanks verbally. I officially resigned from the part-time job at the pasta place 6 hours ago so that i could have more time, whether for schoolwork or leisure. In general, things aren't too bad for me recently. In fact, it seems better than a while ago.

I should be happy and jumping with joy and getting all excited. I'm thankful and grateful for the everything i have presently. I should be..

I should be expecting and hoping for this and that, but i've decided that i will not. The higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment. Why is it proven right time and again?

I was chatting with one of the chefs at my work place 6 hours ago and from a simple topic, we went on to future expectations and endeavours. I told him about my wish to either go on further studies after graduating if circumstances permit, or get a job in the media where my interest lies. He said he aspired to be like an engineer or someone in that line like his cousin/friend who went to France for internship and is earning considerably well enough presently. But the aspiration was pulled back by various considerations and responsibilities, pursuing further studies doesn't seem very feasible right now where he's tied down. I then asked him if he would ever regret not pursuing his dreams when he sits in the rocking chair 40 years down the road if he gives up pursuing them, but i didn't get a definite answer. If i was posed with this question, i guess my answer would be "It depends. But as long as i've tried, i think i would be contended no matter how hard it is to let go. Since those were decisions made at that point of time due to circumstances and there's simply no way to turn the clock back, look ahead and smile. Relish in the bliss in your hands and be optimistic." Sure, talk is easy, but when it comes to action, it's a totally different matter.

Before I went out of the kitchen, this quote just slipped my mouth. "It's always good to have hopes and dreams." As i turned and walked out, i pondered over what i blabbered seconds ago. Yes, having hopes and dreams are no doubt good cuz it would propel you towards the goal. However, if halfway there you find yourself not advancing anywhere near your goal, is it time to give up, walk back to the starting line, chose a different route and push yourself forward all over again? Or should we simply persist bescause we don't wana let go after struggling to hold on that long? In the first place, are we even able to walk back and start all over again when time waits for no one?

Hopes, dreams, expectations, anticipations. Can we fixed them back if they're smashed like how the king's horses and men tried to fix Humpty Dumpty back?

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle. It's mixed and you'll try to match no matter what, piecing it together the seemingly right way, ocassionally tripping over stones and bumping into rocks. At the end of the day, you'll get the picture.

Down, down, and under. My mood's rather down, but it swings like nobody's business whenever it likes. I can be fooling around talking rubbish and getting 'high' for no concrete reason one moment, or start shedding tears over the simpliest things the next. Hopefully it's just pms causing the queer mood swings and not depression taking place.

Very often, i wish time could slow down for me to catch up before speeding off again. Like rine, I feel odd too that i have to spend my supposedly-special day in school. Other than clashing with the GCE "O" levels E.Mathematics Paper 1 three years ago, it had always fallen on the holidays without fail. Maybe that's the main reason why the mood to celebrte isn't there for me.

Weird feeling, just weird, it's an indescribable feeling...

I've learnt to let go of expectations recently, cuz i know without high expectations, or no expectations as a whole, life would be filled with more pleasant surprises.

Til then folks.. I'll liven up when it's appropriate and when it really comes from within. Who knows? I might be laughing away the next second before this piece is published. Cheers to future whole-hearted smiles on faces of everyone around me. They always say "Tomorrow will be a better day," isn't it? We'll see.. ;T

Ambush Chalet - September 26, 27, 28, 2005

2005-11-08T03:08:00.000+08:00

Ambush Chalet - September 26, 27, 28, 2005

Photos and brief account of the Ambush Chalet held at Aloha Loyang Resort on September 26, 27, 28, 2005 as promised more than a fortnight ago.

It was a pretty hectic day as I rush down from home in a cab to the prospective publishing giant in formal wear for the interview which came with a grueling 2 hours paper that sort of reminded me of the GCE "O" levels paper I took 3 freaking years ago. Kind old Cheryl had to pick up my luggage from my house before meeting me at City Hall. Like someone who's going away on a trip to Thailand, she lugged 2 bolster bags and waddled all the way from Boon Lay to City Hall to meet the girl in formal wear who only had a pretty light document bag with her - me.

Carrying the luggage into the East West MRT line towards the east side in formal wear, I seem perfectly suited to go straight to Changi Airport for a business trip. Then again, if i was going on a business trip, a cab ride to the airport is for sure since it'll be on the company.(Muahahaha..)

Resembling a business-woman who just came back from New York from a meeting seeking some spa and resort, minus the glamour and duty-free alchohol, the fake-business woman trodded with her luggage and inexpensive leather bag down the non air-conditioned bus together with her kind old Cheryl and reached the resorts in no time.

Since the guys who had checked in earlier had a car and the sky was getting darker by the second, it didn't seem like there was a second best option than to get them to fetch us to the chalet which would have easily cost us a freaking 15 minutes or more walking down what seemed like a deserted road to the destination.

So the first few hours went by easily as we settled down and played the childhood game - Uno! Oh yes, we cooked a few packet of instant noodles too, only to receive bad comments from the guys that the noodles weren't fully cooked. Hey, that wasn't from me ok!

And what's wrong with cooking instant noodles in the microwave? Don't the manufacturers recommend this fast and hassle-free method? Ok ok, i think it's enough, or Vernon will roll his eyes and Jiayong will want to marry kind old Cheryl because she's the only one who cooks instant noodles the conventional way.

When the crowd came in after work, almost everyone went out to the hall to gamble with real cash. Cheryl and I remained in the air-conditioned room equipped qith double-decker beds which could sleep four adults, and played Uno in the room for donkey knows how many hours, interweaving some other old school games in between, and having guest players now and then.

In a flash, (ok, that's exaggerating but i'm fast forwarding. It's supposed to be a brief account, remember?) before the sun rose high in the sky again, we decided to catch its glamour at during much hyped sunrise. At 6:20am, Cheryl, Vincent and I made our way to the beach, taking the what seemed like a deserted road which was the only route that i know of to the beach. It's definitely not surprising that the streets and paths were almost in total silence except for the insects, birds, animals, and occasional voices from the early birds and it seem pretty eerie but the safety in numbers(small number though) sort of pushed the spooky thoughts away. And i admit that i've never thought of seeking adventure at the "Red House", much less gone there. I have to say i'm rather timid these days. The last horror movie i watched was Dark Waters, what do you say? Don't laugh!

The spooky feeling soon vanished when the fresh air at the beach greeted us, the waves saying 'hi' to us as they hit against the wooden plank below gently. Birds flew in synchronised manners, chirping merrily as they cheer their mates on to fly alongside them to greener pastures.

Like silly gooses, we waved to the shore across and shouted out the names of the people we know who're in Tekong, all because we thought it seems like Pulau Tekong. Doesn't matter if it wasn't, our minds weren't really clear yet in the wee morning hours.

When the sun greeted us with a full risen body, it marked the second day of the chalet. The rest either scrambled to the empty beds of those who have woken, or find a comfortable spot anywhere to catch a wink or two. When we announced of our plans to go cycling, they commented that Cheryl and I were hyperactive and that our energy was never used up. Well, not true. Just that i come to a chalet not to sleep all day, neither am i interested in gambling anyway, so going out and planning our own activities when all the rest were in slumber/gambleland was the best way to entertain ourselves.

From Aloha Loyang, i directed Cheryl to the other end of Pasir Ris park and I noticed great improvement in her cycling skills. Although she fell once, it was serious enough for tough old Cheryl to sustain any serious injuries. The other side of Pasir Ris evoked memories our our inaugural Tanglin Primary School outing which is the most successful one we had organised to date. If only the gathering this year would be less pathetic than the previous year's. Tell me I'm not being too optimistic.

Cycling in the morning was really relaxing and therapeutic. My lungs told me they felt cleansed and were more able to provide me with fresher air if i bask in the morning fresh air more often. Sadly, i am unable to accede to my lungs pleas for unpolluted air everyday as my neighbour whom recently moved in has a tendency to smoke at home, not knowing his smoke would trail through my gates and harm my poor fragile lungs. Since the smoke mercilessly tortures my little lungs, my hands do the honours and slam the door mercilessly(just enough to make a noise, not too rudely loud though) too. Over time, it seemed that my neighbour understood the signal and began smoking away from the compounds where at least 8 children under the age of 12 stayed. Thanks! (Even if he won't read this. I appreciate the occasional consideration.)

(Fast-forward>>>>>>>>>Fast forward) Then night fell once again, and it was time for the BBQ. They only attempted to start the fire at 9pm(yes, you heard right, 9PM)when most of the people would be arriving. But the clouds above decided not to coorperate after a while and started crying continuously and interupted our BBQ. Fortunately, there was fried bee hoon to feed the hungry stomachs as we wait for the clouds to be pacified.

'Crazy' people then came up with crazy games with forfeits to make passing time easier. "Lucky" me got to be the 'King' twice, as well as the person for forfeit twice. Dancing wasn't a problem, but the other forfeit was a little hard with more than a dozen pair of eyes staring at you despite attempted darkness. I was pretty kind when i was the 'king' and only made Gavin carry Leong, and Cheryl and Christina dance the Pole dance.(Now that sounds rather mild huh..)The other 'Kings' was much crazier!

Everyone entered the ladies room to hide while a few distract the birthday boy in another room while some lighted the cakes and got everyone ready to sing. "Happy Birthday to you....."

Since the majority were present, it would be a pity if this 'Kodak moment' wasn't captured.

The bulk left with Jiayong forgetting totally about his almost brand new huge bottle of Listerine in the bathroom and only a handful left to guard the chalet. Fortunately the Guitar man Gavin stayed and provided us with dozens of tunes to sing and hum to while Magician Vernon caught the chance to show his magic tricks once again and I managed to learn one trick after countless attempts in the room with some others who scratched our heads off to get the gist of the trick.

Ah Bang kindly set up the fire at the BBQ pit once again when the rain completely stopped and fed us with tons of satay and yummy chicken wings. After eating, we began showing habits of a pig and felt sleepy. Unable to find a bed to sleep on, i started packing my bag, ready for check out the next morning. But i kept dozing off while packing, only to be awaken by the creaking of the door, and falling back asleep. When the sun appeared fully in the sky, i thought it would be good to bring myself and my mobile phone(See, over-reliance on technology..Hahaha) for a morning stroll. Silly me forgot the insect repellent but no black and white stripe mosquito found me that morning, thankfully...

Armed with only my mobile which is not intelligent enough to get into the Gifted stream but still as lovely, i managed to take some post card worthy pictures that i thought was really nice.. As i strolled to the pool while waiting forthe small gate to be unlocked for instant access to the beach, i hanged around the poolside and this kitty friend passed by, purring at me as if it was saying "Good Morning!". What's amazing was when i was back from the beach and wandered around the other chalets, this kitty passed by again and like greeting an old friend, it purred again. Whenever i said something, it would reply with a 'meow', as if it understands. Gee..Lovely kitty..Love ya kitty! Hope you're leading a good life without worries kitty! ;)

Alright, i think what happened when i hit the station after we checked out is obvious. Cheryl and I knocked out and fell asleep all the way from east to west. Clocked another 7.5 hours of sleep after reaching home and carried on into the night after dinner, just like how you describe the lifestyle of a pig.

More updates soon..

Til Then Folks..Cheers!~

First Day of school, Last semester of the Diploma course

2005-11-02T04:16:00.000+08:00

Just some random thoughts..

It's the first day of school for the last semester of our Diploma in Media and Communication. In no time at all, every single one of us would walk away with the certificate, regardless of its value or worth. Different individuals view its worth definitely, but i dare say it isn't at all useless, we learn different values and thoughts from different things and people.

It's amazing how people from all walks of life, all kinds of upbringing, all kinds of backgrounds, all kinds of values and thoughts, come together and learn from each other. True, learning the truth hurts sometimes, but isn't how growing up and facing the world is?

The world isn't always rosy, nothing comes naturally, nothing should be taken for granted. When we were kids, the adults could protect us from undesirable materials from everywhere and keep us from harm. As we grow up, the adults no longer have that much ability to protect us, and it's all up to ourselves, to protect ourselves. Some are borned with golden spoons, while some with wooden ones. Everyone is given a chance into the world.

My secondary teacher used to tell us, "Everyone is a winner right from the start when you were just a tadpole since you made it through harsh conditions to emerge the winner in the swimming race."

Well, maybe yes. Maybe no. Some lead lifes that're so comfortable that money drops from the sky while some are borned just to suffer. Then, i start to question what's life about, though i never get the answer. Perhaps someday i'll be enlightened, perhaps...

Some random thoughts here and there, nothing concrete, no summary, no lead paragraph, no execuetive summary, no agenda.

Thoughts come in easily when i'm bathing, a considerable amount of people said that bathing is the time when you're most relaxed. That is also partly why many sing better in the bathroom than in the ktvs. Bleargh..

Sometimes i think i think too much for my own good. Well, horoscope experts say this is the character of a scorpion. I sort of believe in horoscopes cuz i see myself in some other scorpions. It's pretty scary actually, to see yourself in others. The similiar behaviours, similiar thoughts. It's as though we can predict each other's next move, then again, the other party might just change its mind.

Mysterious, is another characteristics of typical scorpions. Pretty true for me huh? I once mentioned i don't take down my facade that easily, but when i do, i give my whole heart and please do reciprocate or else what's left of the scorpion would be the tail-where it's poisonous, heartless, and nothing but cruel.

Personally, i think i lack a very good point of most scorpions-confidence, sometimes even arrogance. I lack confidence. Confidence in myself, confidence in the work i produced. I was shock by the grade of my "O" level English(not that it was a 1), and thought it was 'by luck', it never chanced upon me that my work would be recognised. I would love to get my script back, and take a look at how the stormy weather on the day the paper was taken had gotten me into 'the mood' for writing.

I like being a scorpion. Prefably a cold-blooded one. A Chinese proverb says "Good begets good". Sometimes, i can't help but doubt. I don't expect any rewards from any good. Good comes from within. Often or not, my good is not returned with good. I shall not go on and harp on how reality is cruel cuz i've done that some time ago.

Big plans should come in place soon, i hope. "Time is running out, no more dragging HsuehChing, you're lagging. Lagging far far behind. Where's the HsuehChing with the fighting spirit? Where? Where? Where?"

Where, I have no idea.

A stone or an unpolished gemstone? You decide.

"Enough of aimless rambling HsuehChing, you're getting boring"

"Yes, i agree."

So i shall end this post with some comments on the first day of school and plans for the rest of the week.

The 2 hours tutorial didnt feel like a tutorial, instead, it felt like a gossip session with some technology topics inter-weaving here and there. It was pretty fun and time passed quickly, hopefully future lessons would pass that easily too, not that i'm that anxious to get out of here since my internship placement hasn't been confirmed. (Speaking of which, I'm darn nervous!) And we have a class blog just for the module, how cool is that?

Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday shall be shelved for working, which meant money! Muahahaha..

Friday is reserved for a feast! Double Muahahahaha...

Alright, that's the end of my rambling session. See, random enough huh? I hereby wish everyone a good health alongside good financial status and good companions. (I seriously am going crazy.)

Til then folks...Cheers to budding Media and Communication Professionals..Muahahaha..;) (Someone just slap me awake!)<---Kidding..

2005-10-30T12:31:00.000+08:00

Grandma has recovered fully from the darn mosquito's bite, and she's as healthy as ever now. Grandpa has also recovered form a minor operation. Phew.. Thank god..

Have just retuned from a chalet held by the people at my work place. It had been pretty fun, minus awkward forfeits..gee.. and to think i was 'lucky' enough to have to had to do the forfeit twice. It was fun though, the Uno, Uno, Uno, and nothing else but Uno for me cuz i don't have the luck for gambling games like mahjong and blackjack and don't wish to lose my hard-earned money like that. I would rather spend the money than lose it cuz i know myself, i wouldn't win money. So, i dutifully stuck to games that were suitable for even children, UNO. Bam!

Am exhauted from deprivation of sleep for 2 nights consecutively, but isn't that what's chalet about? Staying up, having fun, sing-a-long, cycling, watching the sunrise, bbq-ing, and some attempts to win/lose money through games..

Have been falling asleep almost everywhere these 2 days. In Grandma's house, in Grandmother's house, in the car, on the sofa, anywhere. Wherever i can lean my head on, i'll fall asleep..Gee..Perhaps this is what they call replenishing.

Photos are finally uploaded.. Details in next entry..Hopefully.. ;)

Til then folks.. ChEeRs to the last semester!~

2005-10-20T19:21:00.000+08:00

Yet another victim..

My grandma had fallen prey to the horrible dengue fever. We brought her in on Sunday night after incessant vomitting from Sunday afternoon, thinking the fever was brought about exhaustion from taking care of my Grandfather, hopping between home and Alexandra Hospital everyday for almost 2 continuous weeks.

After 10 blood extractions, 5 days of blood test, the doctor-in-charge finally confirmed with us that it's dengue fever. They told us that the giddiness was due to a lack of sodium initially and we thought things should be fine once the fever subsides. Grandma's fever has since subsided, but the darn mosquito bite continues to torture pure grandma. Doctors say there's no cure for dengue fever, and it's all up to the patient's constitution and will power to recover.

Old wives tales mentioned that water boiled with goat's horn would help. Grand-uncle and uncle drank the goat's horn water on a daily basis and had recovered from dengue fever too. I don't know how true it is, but since 2 have gone through it and recovered through this methos and it poses no harm, why not?

Well, I think besides medicine and some strength our faith gives us, moral support is important. I believe the best way for the patient to pass time and recover is for the family and friends to keep up the spirits and not sob and give up hope. Being optimistic makes life easier?

Guan Yin Niang Niang and all gods, please allow my grandmother to recover very soon and be able to get home soon. Grandpa relies a lot on Grandma to take care of him, but since grandma has to stay in the hospital for a certain period now, it's now the duty of the children and grandchildren to take care of both the elderly.

Dengue Fever is a killer, a great danger cuz you never know when the darn mosquito would strike. Thus, my dear friends and family members, please do take precautions like spraying insect repellent all over yourself, it doesn't matter if you stink from it, safety is more important. Oh yes, and wear more cloth, firstly, it will prevent you from a cold, secondly, it might help cuz denim might be a tad too thick for the darn mosquito.

Til then folks...Take care of yourselves ya..

Swim, Swim, Swim like a dog...

2005-10-14T12:56:00.000+08:00

Swim, Swim, Swim like a dog...

I finally went on my much awaited swimming trip on Wednesday because Cheryl Mummy could not bear to see Little Ching throwing tempers for not bringing her to the pool for dinosaur years...

Who cares if i don't have the figure to don a swimsuit meant to kill? Who cares if I can't swim to save my life? Who cares if my hair will be harmed from the chlorine?

Putting asides all constrains, I pulled cheryl along with me to the pool at the Jurong East Sports Complex which we have not stepped into for T-rex years. Once we stepped into the place, heaven decided to play a trick on us and started crying cuz it didn't want to see me in a scanty swimsuit. However, we refused to give up and threatened heaven's decision with a KFC meal. Thankfully, heaven wipe its teared and released the sun once again so i could burn some unnecessary fats from the sinful lunch.

Whenever V4 went to the pool, our decision would normally be to keep the purple note safe in our wallets rather then throwing it in for yellow doughnut-like floats. But Cher n I decided to give a purple note up each this time so we could float without much effort. (Which defeated my main purpose of burning some unnecessary fats..Hmm..nope, i swam too actually..haha..)

Enjoyment wise, we definitely had our fill. We pretended to be kids once again and even paid for the child's fare.(For their pricing table, child's fare is meant for people under 18 years-old. Hey, I'm just a year over, I guess it's alright? Muahahaha..) We gave our weight to the floats and drifted round the lazy pool for more than an hour. Pretty amazing huh? How apt. The lazy pool for lazy people. Perfect.

Imagination brought us to 'WONDERland'. Cher was spiderman(girl actually) in the classic red and blue tight-fitting suit, while I was some ancient fairy with a costume full of dangling ribbons here and there. The spider-girl spewed cobwebs with a mere twist of the wrist and the fingers, while the fairy flies with one hand in front with the 'lotus-fingers' formation, fending herself with shots of ribbons from the sleeves with a mere twist of the wrists and fingers too. (Hey! So spiderman copied the ancient fairies' action? Hmmm...)

The man-made waves at the Wave pool seem longer than usual. Everytime the waves pushed us further in, we struggled hard to swim back to safer grounds though no matter how hard i kicked, we seem to get stucked at the same spot, not forgetting a bunch of boys constantly blocking our path to safer grounds. After the 'ordeal', our hands both ached from the gripping of our floats.(My arms are still aching from it..)

Then came the slides.. The longest slide wasn't open so we compromised and took the second best. It was fun no doubt, and we slide down the pink slide twice. Once a face-on flop into the water, and another successful stunt on the second attempt.

The sun then changed its colour, marking the end of the day with a warm cheerful orange, beckoning me to return to home sweet home.

Til then folks... Cheers to increasing funds for my long-awaited 5566 2005 concert! WooHoo!~

Nothing really important...

2005-10-11T13:37:00.000+08:00

Nothing really important...

We've come to the 4th week of our holidays unknowingly. I've done nothing significant during these few weeks except being a potato couch armed with the SCV set-top box with engaging programmes, a computer with internet access, a job which only allows me to work twice a week, an irritating but pretty fun brother, a constantly shouting mother, busy friends who have tight schedules who spare a few days with me for ferocious shopping trips, an adorable little 5 year-old pink teddy bear courtesy of Huimin, a 14 year-old pillow dear grandma sewed for me as a little girl which had been through storms and hurricanes with me, a few library books for some good reading courtesy of mum and Huimin's library cards due to my carelessness which led to a good $15.25 fine, and most importantly, a house to slump in.

I wish to go swimming, but i don't wana go alone and risk drowning with no one to save me. I wana go shopping, but my shopping-mates are busy with their lives, plus my twice-a-week-job income doesn't permit me to spend like i'm a rich girl. I wana go cycling, again, no one's free to play with this poor little girl. Fortunately, V4 is planning a day of fun-filled activity-packed day next week in hope of gathering the "Bball gang", or so we called this group of friends who came together every week 3 years ago to play bball at St Margeret's compound. We're gonna go cycling, kite-flying, and gobbling seafood from the steamboat, Yeah! I'm so looking forward to it man!. I wana pack my stuff, but i guess this lazy feel that comes alongside holidays restrict me.

I wana plan for the annual Tanglin Primary School's Class 6A 1998 gathering, but it's hard to even start with the obstacles ahead with some being coming up with excuses even i can't comprehend. Some say they don't have spare moolah, fine! You can sit there with a cup of plain water, its free. Some say they're not free to come, fine! I asked for opinions on the dates that are feasible, but only a few kind souls replied. If you cant make it on the dates suggested, voice it! Excuses, pure excuses. People can stir up any rubbish just to get away. The numbers are declining year by year. From a good 20+, to a mere 10. From a full day gathering, to just a few hours for dinner. Surely it isn't that hard?

I once told a friend, "If you treasure this/these people enough, you wouldn't even think of not going." I strongly adhere to this thought. It came as a passing thought, but stayed on stuck to my mind.

I'll open the invite to all as usual, but whether they do sincerely come in the hope of meeting us, the old friends of a decade, it's purely up to them. We, the organisers are tired, and sick of lame excuses. Don't ask me how lame the excuses are cuz you'll know an excuse is made up once you hear it. Fine with me if you don't wana come, it's not as if i have to beg you to come. Shoo! Bleargh...

However, i'm glad i'm doing something significant to change my life, the way i look, my confidence, and my health. Don't expect too much though, it's still at the infancy stage. Nothing obvious as yet.

Oh yes, and my English has been certified at 2.25pm on 11 July 2005. It's not coming back until it has toured the world in perhaps 80 days so you can expect me to write rubbish and broken English for sometime, rest assure i won't use lianguage though. I don't know how i got that first letter of the alphabets for my "O" levels for it, now, how long ago was that? 3 years? Woah, that's how fast time passes.

Yea, so that's my life at the moment. Perhaps this will not be for long, cuz De'Lites has got a major presentation to prepare for in hope of some prizes..Hmmm...

Well, so that's all for now folks..a boring read huh?

Til then folks... Cheers to engaging Korean and Hong Kong dramas! ;)

DMC/3A/05 Class Gatherings 2005

2005-10-04T22:48:00.000+08:00

It was fun, fun ,fun, some food, and laughter at the 2005 DMC/FT/3A/05 Class BBQ/Chalet. Here's what we did:

On the way after hours of buying and marinating the chicken wings, the prawns, and the sotongs...

Waiting for the fire to be started and finally, for the wings to be ready for consumption...

The first batch of wings were finally edible after what seems like hours of waiting alongside ferocious growling stomachs...

Class photos... How long have we not taken a class photo outside school time? Don't we look happy together? Smile!!!!~~~ Bare your whites!~

Nity and Nina managed to climb up the tall block with the help of the guys, only to find it hard getting down later on...

With some fabulous Escada Rockin' Rio, we bade goodbye to the BBQ smell on our clothes and bade the rest goodbye while they go on for another two days of fun at the chalet...

Til then folks...Cheers to more great days!~ Great days are simply welcomed aren't they? ;)

5566-Padang-Autograph Session-17 Sept 2005

2005-09-26T13:57:00.000+08:00

Holidays are finally here!

5566 Padang-Autograph Session-17 Sept 2005

Fuji Ice Palace - De'Lites Ice Skating - 16 September 2005

Chinese Garden - Lantern Safari 2005 - 15 September 2005

Have done nothing significant for my life but have been enjoyig life pretty much. Shopping sprees, outings, good food, reading, VCDs, DVDs, SCV, SCV, and SCV... I pretty much like slacking around during the holidays. Isn't this what's holidays are meant to be like?

Well, just enjoying life before getting into serious stuff meanwhile..nothing concrete, no plans either. My brains are taking a break..

C'est la vie!~

Life is a mystery

2005-09-14T02:31:00.000+08:00

Life is a mystery

You never know what will charge at you the next moment.

Someone whom you thought is your friend might kill you the next moment.
Something which you think was safe might bite you the next moment.
Somewhere which you think was safe might prove you wrong the next moment.
Sometimes when you think everything's moving smoothly, someone, something somewhere might just kill that thought the next moment.

Dad asked me this question during dinner, "How long do you think this friendship would last?"

I put everything aside and thought for a few moments and I couldn't put a definite answer to it. The commitment, the heart, the thoughts, and the feelings all matters. Life is so unpredictable, no one knows what's going to happen the next second.

A friend once said that he/she would clear his/her contact lists every now and then. Someday, my name would go through the "Delete Contact" fate too.

As I learn of the harshness and cruelty of the real world, the world seems a disgusting place to be in. Despite the warmth surrounding us which we conveniently forget about from time to time, the world is a sickening place. Without these minimal warmth, the world should just crash.

I get scared. The media never fails to throw us tons of dramas where people scheme against each other. Real or reel? This current show I'm watching about palace life depicts two seemingly close sworn sisters scheming against each other to get to being the top concubines. On the surface they interact just like blood-sisters, while behind their backs, one is harming the other and vice versa. Palace life has expanded from the palace to modern day society. I guess the animal instinct jumps out at you when you're at a lost. "Kill whatever stops you from getting what you want"

I thought the person was a good person, but the person proves me wrong and shows me the evil side.
I thought i could rely on the person, but the person proved unreliable.
I thought i could believe in myself, but I prove myself wrong.
I thought things were going smoothly, but i'm wrong.
I thought everything was great, but I was wrong.
I thought it didn't matter, but i was wrong.
I thought the world is simply beautiful, but i was wrong, the evil within does not reveal itself unnecessarily.

I tend to judge people over a period of time. My judgement fails me at times, that's where the sad part comes in. There's a reason why I warm up to a person that slow, because i feel the need to understand, or at least get an understanding of how the person operates before the facde is taken now gradually. I can't bear my heart without an armour, for i know some pirate will stab their swords mercilessly when i'm not careful.

"You've to be careful about everything," isn't life tiring?

My Dad says there's a significant change in the way i speak and behave. He says i've become arrogant. I insisted that's the way the youths communicate and behave now. He replied saying his colleagues who are a mere 5 years older than I am don't speak that way. But I insisted it's surprising that the behaviour and lingos differ from year to year.

The world changes every second, so does humans.

Why make other's life difficult when you don't want yours to be made difficult by others? SELFISHness kicks in. Everyone is selfish. No one can declare themselves free from this. I'm selfish at times, or rather most of the times, i won't deny because it's a fact, nothing but the truth. We all want the best for ourselves and our loved ones. "Who cares about others".

If you think in a negative way, nothing on earth is worth the chance to live. Thoughts of suicide floats pasts one's mind. Various reasons pull the thought away.

I used to think suicide is but a foolish act which only brings pain and sufferings to the living who loves you. Now it seems like a brave act, though still selfish and foolish nonetheless when some others are fighting so hard jusy to keep their lives.

I am glad and thankful for who I am and what i have now.

My Dad hates people to tell him what to do, so do I.

"Press that button for water."
"Ok"
"Understand?"
"Yes"
"You really get it?"
"Yes"
"Are you sure you can do it?"
"YES! (Yes yes yes, i told you yes. Do you think i'm a plain idiot or do you think i'm dumb? When i say i understand, it means i do. If i don't i'll ask. Enough is enough. I live through my education for a reason.)

Perhaps this is a sudden outburst, a fleeting thought, or a built-up. I don't wish to care that much.

Life is tiring.
Life is a struggle.
Life can be beautiful.
Life can be ugly.
Life can be improved.
Life is pre-determined.
Life is what you think.
Life is all about going through birth, aging, illness, and death.
When you've walked to the last step, you'll enter a wooden bed just enough to fit your shoulders in and rest in there til your body decomposses.

Life is such. I'm gonna make my life better. Suicide will never be an option. Since Life's such, i shall make it good.

It will be good. In 60 years time, i'll sit in my rocking chair with my husband and dog by the fireplace, sewing jackets for my grandchildren and thinking of the young and sweet times. Great music drifts through the room as we sip our coffee, looking out at the green pastures occassionally. Our grandchildren running around with the puppies and goats. I'll invite my dearest confidents everyday just to have high tea and gossip and bitch about even at our age. Life will be excellent. It will.

Life will never get me down. I'll pat the dust away when i fall and rise to my feet in the shortest possible time.

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. Somehwere in the middle, somewhere at the crossroad, faced with the harsh reality, the cruel society, but i will survive.

You never know what a female scorpion might do.

Til then folks... Tomorrow should be a better day, that's what hopefuls say all the time. I wish for everyday to be a better day too. Cheers to endless better days!

We Simply Rock Don't We?

2005-09-13T12:55:00.000+08:00

We Simply Rock Don't We?

"We kick ass!" Carine would say.
"Yea man!" Clarice would say.
"Alright!~" Nina would say.
"We rock man!" Winoa would say.
"Of course, we're De'Lites!" Nity would say.
"WooHoo!~" I would say.

**Logos created in personal capacity, does not represent agency.

P.S: Photos changed, all photos from my Sony camera. Please inform me if you do not wish for your photo to be published and it'll be replaced with a Smiley.

Til Then Folks...We'll continue rockin'! Cheers!~

I'm in a BAD mood!

2005-09-09T17:10:00.000+08:00

I'm in a very BAD MOOD! Don't ask me why.. I'm just in a foul mood.

It might be because:

1) Mummy and Brother's out for a good dinner tonight, but i'm stuck here with some damn theories
2) Daddy's out with colleagues for a game of badminton, but i'm stuck here with some damn theories
3) Two nights without sleep for damn reports, but i'm still stuck here with some damn theories
4) I should be in high spirits because school has officially ended for this semester for us, but i'm still stuck here with some damn theories
5) I wana go swimming, cycling, shopping, and singing, but I"M STILL STUCK HERE WITH SOME DAMN THEORIES!

Enough!!!!!

Fcuk!

You get it..

Til Then Folks... NO Cheers.. :<

2005-09-08T18:44:00.000+08:00

A tree just sacrificed itself in order for me to get 20 marks(or less) for just a module.

All the printing had caused my dear printer to vomit blood so many times that it has run out of blood.

Type type type, print print print, bind bind bind...

Have you ever wondered how many trees have been chopped just for our assignment and projects alone? I dare not imagine.

A practical world that is...

I won't be surprised if one day all lands become barren lands when all trees are all chopped down, we're on the way anyway. Humans... Then again, who am I to say we're wasting resources when I myself is doing the same things? Bleargh...

Anyway, i came across some pictures of gorgeous golden retrievers and decided to brighten your day, or rather, my day although it's evening now...

Oh yes, i guess i dont have to circle the picture of the dog and inform you that "This is a dog." Do I?

Simply gorgeous aren't they?

Til then folks..Cheers to a few more days of studying til the holidays..WooHoo!~

2005-08-29T12:56:00.000+08:00

80% of the world's trade is still done by sea today.

Every 2 months, a bulk carrier disappears from the vast sea with total loss of life.

[Quote from Discovery Channel]

That's how scary Mother Nature can be. Perhaps, everything is due to fate.

You've heard of stories of how survivors escape from disasters.

A woman called in sick and a few minutes later her colleagues perish with the world's once tallest twin towers.

A man fell ill and did not board the ship he was supposed to be on. Days later, the killer sea walloped Derbyshire together with all his once colleagues. Ahoy! Mates disappeared from his dictionary from then on.

A lady got stucked in a traffic jam and missed her flight. Hours later, the plane crashed, bringing all passengers down with it.

A struck of fate, the game in the hands of heaven. You live, you die.

Sure, i would like to believe that fate is controlled by humans and that you get anything you want just by fighting for it, but sometimes you just have to believe in it. Humans can never go against nature. It's a fact proven time and again but humans choose to ignore the warning signs and continue destroying earth. I will admit that I'm not a noble citizen of Planet Earth, I do pursue certain luxuries like other normal human being of right-thinking humans.

Sometimes i have no idea why should there even be living things on earth when all will perish one day. For a taste of the flavours of life? Perhaps...

Projects, Deadlines, Projects, Deadlines, Projects, Deadlines, Individual Reports, Deadlines, Tests, Deadlines......

That's pretty much what's in for me at the moment. So much so that my brains are beginning to protest and threatening to quit its job unless I give it some therapy.

Well, been going on some retail therapy these days. Minor sprees, but money just seems to flow out of my poor wallet without hesitating. I'm always hoping the 'future money' that i'm working for will refill the vacancies but in vain. In fact, my brains tell me that it's alright to spend now and refill later. Bad. Really Bad. Someone please stop me from spending unnecessary money. What's the chance. Bleargh!

Anyway, 2 and a half more week of school and it's semester breaks. The time to have fun and earn money as well, plus some time to slow down my steps and really plan for my future. My future...sometimes i wonder how would it be. Let it be excellent in a very good way please.

2 more weeks of school this semester, one and a half months of holidays, 6 weeks of school for 2 modules, 3 months of internship at a hopefully good place, and off we go on to another phase of our lives with that piece of paper in our hands.

Time waits for no one. How true, I still remember the first taste of polytechinic life. I made a big circle and found the right clique willing to accept me - The De'Lites. Polytechnic life wouldn't be fun and extravagant without them.

I love the talks we always have almost everyday, it's eye-opening how different views come together. It's fun how we gossip and bitch like nobody's business. It's amazing how we came from different upbringings, different backgrounds, different schools, different families, different languages, different races, different religions, and we respect each other.

Okay, it's becoming like a thank you speech...Haha..

Cheers to a better tomorrow!

Til then folks.. ;)

2005-08-16T12:56:00.000+08:00

"Money, please roll freely into my bank account so i can continue spending like this...Thank you..."

15 August 2005 - HuiJuan's Birthday Celebration at Pasta Cafe

16 August 2005 - Crystal Jade Xiao Long Bao at Holland Village

Cheers to potential rolling money...and to Huijuan's birthday! Happy Birthday 19th Ah Jian! Hope it was an enjoyable time for you and everyone! ;)

2005-08-14T16:13:00.000+08:00

"Snap snap snap..."

A day of shopping and snapping...

"Snap snap snap" went my lovely Sony camera though it's not as good as it's higher-tech cousins. "Don't worry camera, I still love you..."

I've started talking to non-living things a lot. My bear, my pillow, my mp3 player, my tv...the list goes on... Not forgetting to the other me in the mirror as well. It never fails to cheer me up when i get a new accessory for my mobile. Gee...

The world has been spinning for as long as it can be. As slow as it seems, time surpasses the feeling, leaving you behind with no mercy. Sometimes you stop at a crossroad, confuse as to which direction you want to move on.

"Where?"

"I have no idea."

Perhaps it's time to slow down our pace of life and think about the slightest and often neglected things in our lives.

Have you ever tilted your head to appreciate the stars in the sky?

Do you reflect on what you've done for the day before you set off for slumberland?

Have you ever wondered about the wonders and power of nature?

Have you ever come to a conclusion as to whether the egg or the chicken comes first?

Have you thought of why the mediocre things in life happen?

Well...

Til Then Folks... Cheers to another day..They do say tomorrow will be a better day right?

Fun and Extravagance...with work done..

2005-08-10T02:38:00.000+08:00

Fun and Extravagance...with work done..

Til then folks...Cheers to never ending killer projects..BAH!

2005-08-06T01:28:00.000+08:00

Tired, exhausted, strained, deprived of sleep...everything...

Time check: 1.28am, 6 August 2005

Thanks to a bunch of kind friends and family i have, i've completed my part of the surveys in about 5 hours, with one extra for murphy's law.

Too tired to construct anything now. 99% of the brain cells have gone to Slumberland, only 1% is struggling with me til i finally let it rest.

Updates of photos and perhaps words tomorrow..hopefully..that's if i have my report churned out...

Urgh..

Only few more weeks to slog it all out and hopefully attachment would be fine...

BAH! (Rine, apply for copyright..gee..)

By the way, just finished reading "A walk to remember" by Nicholas Sparks. Really touching story... Who says stress cant be relieved by reading books?

Alright..eyes closing..starting to type nonsense...Tata..

Cheers to dark eye circles and failing health...BAH!